Gruppo Sportivo – "P. S. 78" (1979)

 

We are American kids

Rich daddies and big t*ts

If you pay the genetic-testing company 23andMe $99 and send it a saliva sample, you’ll get back a report that tells you a lot about yourself based on your DNA.  

For example, 23andMe told me that there was an 81% probability that I would think my urine smelled funny when I ate asparagus and a 72% chance that I have little or no back hair.  (One of those is true.)

It also gave me the names of 1501 other people who had sent their DNA to 23andMe for analysis and who were likely first, second, third, or fourth cousins of mine.

That’s all well and good, but the most interesting part of my 23andMe report BY FAR was the “ancestry composition” part, which told me (sort of) where my ancestors came from.

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According to 23andMe, I am 100% northwestern European in ancestry:  

In other words, I’m 0.0% eastern European, 0.0% southern European, 0.0% central and south Asian, 0.0% east Asian and native American, 0.0% western Asian and northern African, 0.0% sub-Saharan African, and 0.0% Melanesian.  

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Somehow, 23andMe provides the names of particular cities and regions where your ancestors likely came from.

For example, the location with the strongest evidence of my ancestry is greater London.  (I have no knowledge of any particular ancestors from Greater London, although the sheer size of that region increases the odds that some of my English forebears came from there.)

My DNA also indicates that there’s a good chance that I had ancestors from Merseyside, Greater Manchester, Lancashire, and/or West Yorkshire – four adjacent counties located in the northwestern part of England, far from London.

It’s also possible that I had ancestors from three non-English metropolitan areas – namely, Glasgow, Edinburgh, and Belfast.

It’s less likely – although not impossible – that I had Irish ancestors.  (Until someone can prove that, I’m entering a plea of “Not guilty!” to that charge.)

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If I have German ancestors, 23andMe believes they came from North Rhine-Westphalia, which is the most populous of Germany’s 16 states.

As its name indicates, that densely populated state borders the northern part of the Rhine River.  Its largest city is Cologne (home to one of my favorite beers, kölsch).  The state capital and second-largest city is Düsseldorf (home to another of my favorite beers, altbier).

23andMe also thinks I have Swiss ancestors from Grisons, the largest and easternmost of Switzerland’s 26 cantons.  Grisons is the least densely populated Swiss canton – it is quite mountainous, and home to a number of Alpine resorts (including St. Moritz and Davos).

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The genealogical research I’ve done to date indicates that most of my ancestors were British.  But two or three of my 16 great-great-grandparents seem to have had German roots.

I had thought that one of those great-great-grandparents was of Dutch ancestry because her great-great-great-grandfather was born in the Netherlands.  But I recently realized that he was born in the U.S.  (He wasn’t born in Utrecht, which is a large Dutch city.  He was born in New Utrecht, which is now part of Brooklyn, New York.) 

That ancestor’s father, Willem Klinckenburg – the name was later Anglicized to Clinkingbeard – was born in Aachen, Germany, which is located in North Rhine-Westphalia, just a stone’s throw from the Dutch border.  

However, the woman that Willem’s son married was of Dutch ancestry.  So maybe at least part of that 12.0% of my DNA that 23andMe classified as simply “western European” is Dutch.

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I’m intrigued by the 5.8% of my DNA that 23andMe thinks is Scandinavian.  I see no one in my family tree who appears to have Scandinavian ancestry.  However, my genealogical research has a lot of holes in it, so who knows?

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In honor of my putative Dutch ancestry, today’s featured song is by a Dutch group, Gruppo Sportivo.

Of course, the name “Gruppo Sportivo” sounds more Italian than Dutch – and the band sings in French and English.  All of which makes them perfect for a post about the melting pot that is the good ol’ U. S. of A.

Click here to listen to “P.S. 78.”  It’s guaranteed to put un sourire sur votre visage!

Click on the link below to buy the record from Amazon: