Original Cast of "Ordinary Days" – "Saturday at the Met" (2010)

Hey, come on, let’s go!

We’ve got a whole museum to visit

We should probably pick up on the pace!

We’ve got a lot of ground to cover on day three of our perfect three-day New York City trip, and not much time in which to cover it – so I hope you got a good night’s sleep last night.

Day Three

When breakfasting in New York City, 2 or 3 lines does not live by bagels alone – on occasion, he has avocado toast instead.  Fortunately, the Blue Angel is near the avocado-centric Avo restaurant.

It’s a short walk from Avo to the Lexington Avenue/53rd Street MTA station, where you’ll catch an uptown 6 train and ride four stops to the 86th Street station.  From there, it’s a short walk from the Metropolitan Museum of Art – which we art connoisseurs refer to simply as “the Met.”    

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The Met is the largest and most-visited museum in the Western Hemisphere.  Last year, over five million people dropped in to view its encyclopedic holdings, which include not only paintings and sculptures from all over the world, but also galleries full of arms and armor, musical instruments, costumes, and the decorative arts (e.g., furniture, ceramics, glassware, metalwork, textiles, and jewelry).  

The centerpiece of the Met’s massive Egyptian wing is the Temple of Dendur, a sandstone structure that was dismantled by the Egyptian government to save it from being submerged when the Nile River was as a result of the damming of the Nile River in the sixties.  

The Temple of Dendur

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The Met’s display of medieval armor is certainly eye-catching:

Perhaps the most interesting suit of armor in the Met is the one that was made for Henry VIII a few years before he died.  As you can tell from its ample girth, the once-fit king had put on quite a few pounds by the time that suit was fitted.  (Historians think good ol’ Hal weighed between 300 and 400 pounds when he died shortly thereafter.)

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The Met has room after room filled with Impressionist and Post-Impressionist art.  If you’re a fan of painters like Renoir, Monet, Gauguin, and Van Gogh – and who isn’t? – you gotta get to the Met, dude!

Van Gogh’s “Self-Portrait with a Straw Hat”

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While the Met has just about any kind of art you can think of in spades, there’s one thing that was in very short supply the last time I visited – and that was food.  

The Met has four restaurants and a food cart, which sounds like a lot.  But one of the Met’s dining rooms is only open on weekends.  Another one was closed the day of my visit because they were setting up for a posh soirée for the museum’s biggest donors.  The third one I visited closed early that day because it ran out of food.  And the food cart’s supply of sandwiches was long gone by the time I got there as well, so I lunched on a grossly overpriced bag of peanut M&M’s.

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Four hours is only enough time to scratch the surface of the Met’s extensive collections, but flesh and blood can only handle so much walking and gawping before exhaustion sets in.  And we have a train to catch!

So after a brief detour to catch a glimpse of the Central Park Reservoir, it’s time to head back to the Blue Angel to retrieve luggage before making your way to the subway for the ten-minute trip at Penn Station.  

Once you arrive, you can quaff a beer at the faux-Irish pub situated in the middle of the unbelievably noisy Moynihan Food Hall, and then pick up a sandwich and a Dr. Pepper to consume on the train.

If you’d prefer not to spend the next few hours hearing your fellow Amtrak passengers yak on their phones, make sure to grab a seat in the quiet car – no talking allowed on the quiet car!  (If you’re lucky, some jerk*ff will ignore the quiet car rules and take a call – it’s very satisfying to have an excuse to give him a dirty look as you pass him a nasty note.)

Ssshhh!

On my last trip, I got to my destination on time – sort of – and in one piece.  I chose to stay out of the filthy restrooms on the train and drain the lizard after debarking.  But the Amtrak Nazis were out in force, informing the passengers in none-too-polite terms that we could not use the restrooms because the station was officially closed.  (There were three more trains scheduled to come through that station later that evening – I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do if you want to board one of those trains and need to consult with a ticket agent first.)

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In the next 2 or 3 lines, I’ll provide you with a detailed breakdown of the costs you’ll incur on my suggested New York City itinerary.  (If you’ve got a weak heart, make sure you’ve got a nitroglycerin tablet handy – the numbers may come as a bit of a shock.)  

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“Ordinary Days,” a sung-through musical that had its New York City premiere in 2009, tells the story of four young New Yorkers named Claire, Jason, Warren, and Deb, who all find themselves at the Met on Saturday afternoon – hence the title of today’s featured song. 

Deb and Warren are there because he has found something that she lost, and suggested that they meet in a Met gallery containing a particular Monet painting so her can return the lost item.

Deb becomes more and more frustrated as she searches unsuccessfully for the correct gallery.  She asks for help from Jason and Claire, a couple visiting the museum.  The “Saturday at the Met” lyrics quoted above are sung by Jason, who is annoyed that Claire is moving so slowly through the museum – he urges her to pick up the pace.  (It turns out that the couple not only have different ideas about the proper way to explore the Met, but also have very different tastes in paintings – I’m guessing that there’s trouble ahead for Jason and Claire!)

Click here to listen to “Saturday at the Met.”

Click here to buy “Saturday at the Met” from Amazon.

Jay-Z (feat. Rihanna and Kanye West) – "Run This Town" (2009)

Only thing that’s on my mind

Is who’s gonna run this town tonight? 

The last 2 or 3 lines presented the itinerary for day one of my perfect three-day New York City trip.  Now it’s time for day two.

Day Two

You’re in New York City, so you need to have a bagel for breakfast.  Modern Bread and Bagel is just a hop, skip, and jump from the Blue Angel, so it’s easy to chow down there.

If you’re a newcomer to New York City, the best way to get an appreciation of the physical layout of the city is to take a Circle Line cruise.  Get on the E train or a crosstown bus and head to Pier 83 and the Circle Line ticket booth.  You can circumnavigate the entirety of Manhattan island if you wish, but I recommend the shorter (and cheaper) “Landmarks” cruise, which takes you down the west side of Manhattan to the Statue of Liberty, up the East River – passing under the Brooklyn Bridge (as well as the less famous Manhattan and Williamsburg Bridges) – and then does a U-turn and returns to Pier 83.  

The entire trip takes precisely 90 minutes, and gives you beautiful views of the Empire State Building, the new World Trade Center, and many other well-known skyscrapers in addition to Lady Liberty and the aforementioned bridges.

Click here to watch a video that shows the highlights of the“Landmarks” cruise.

For a quick and convenient lunch, just walk south to the brand-spanking-new Hudson Yards development, which includes a fancy-schmancy shopping center and lots of fast-casual restaurants.  Feel free to drop fifteen bucks on admission to the Vessel if you’d like – I was content to just look at that unique structure from the outside:

The Vessel

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After you’ve grabbed a bite, walk down the 1.5-mile-long High Line Trail, a linear park that follows the right-of-way of an abandoned elevated rail spur.  It abounds in interesting statues, murals, and other art works, and gives you a bird’s-eye view of the neighborhood and the Hudson River.

Here are photos of a few of those art pieces:

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From the end of the High Line Trail, it’s a short walk to Pier 57, where you can grab a quick drink before visiting Little Island, a place that proves that the world is a better place because of billionaires.

Little Island is a 2.4-acre artificial island that has a small amphitheater, short walking trails, and hundreds of different trees, shrubs, perennials, and grasses.  It owes its existence to media mogul Barry Diller, whose foundation has contributed an estimated $380 million toward the construction and upkeep of the park.  (It’s hard for me to understand why Little Island should have cost that much, but I probably am underestimating the amount of baksheesh Diller had to spread around among the politicians, unions, etc.)

Little Island

Little Island is a short walk from Greenwich Village, which is full of interesting restaurants.  I stopped and got a drink at a cash-only neighborhood bar called the Corner Bistro – who knew there was still such a thing as a cash-only bar? – and took the subway back to my ’hood for dinner at the Kung Fu Little Steamed Buns Ramen restaurant, a Michelin Guide-recommended Chinese restaurant that’s next door to the Blue Angel.  

My dogs were barking at that point, so I put my feet up, cranked up the A/C, and watched the final innings of the Yankees-Blue Jays before going to sleep.

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“Run This Town,” which was named Best Rap Song and Best Rap/Sung Collaboration at the 52nd Grammy Awards, features three of hip-hop’s biggest superstars: Jay-Z, Rihanna and Kanye West.

Unlike “Empire State of Mind,” which was also released on The Blueprint 3 in 2009, “Run This Town” isn’t chock full of references to New York City neighborhoods and sports teams.  But it still sounds very New York. 

Former New York City mayor Eric Adams got a lot of criticism for entering a 2023 press conference to “Run This Town.”

“Are you a politician or a professional wrestler?  I’m so confused,” one X/Twitter user quipped after that press conference.  

“Eric Adams having ‘Run This Town’ as his intro song will never not be funny,” wrote another.  “The man is deeply unserious.”

The year after that press conference, Adams was indicted on federal charges of bribery, fraud, and soliciting illegal foreign campaign donations.  Prosecutors later dropped the charges, but that didn’t help Adams’ re-election campaign – he poll numbers were so poor that he dropped out of the race five weeks before the election.

Click here to listen to “Run This Town.”

Click here to buy “Run This Town” from Amazon.

Ramones – "53rd and 3rd" (1976)

53rd and 3rd, standing on the street

53rd and 3rd, I’m trying to turn a trick

53rd and 3rd, you’re the one they never pick

If you’re a regular reader of this wildly popular little blog, you know that 2 or 3 lines  knows pretty much everything there is to know about pretty much everything worth knowing about.

The burden of being the ne plus ultra of experts – “The Experts’ Expert,” if you will – is that I am constantly being asked for advice.

For example, I was recently asked for help by a DC-area fan who was going to New York City for the first time, and felt overwhelmed by the prospect of planning the trip. 

Here my recommendations for the perfect three-day visit to “The City That Never Sleeps.”  

How to Get There

If you live on the east coast, the best way for you to get to New York City is by taking Amtrak.  (Flying is expensive and doesn’t really save you any time if you live along the Northeast Corridor.  And if you’re thinking about driving into Manhattan, my advice is fuhgeddaboutit!)

Unless you’re made of money, just go coach on the regular Amtrak Northeast Regional trains.  Business class costs a lot more, as does travel on the high-speed Acela trains.  (The Acela can easily cost three times as much as a regular Amtrak train, and it saves you only about half an hour.)

Don’t expect a lot from Amtrak, and you won’t be disappointed.  Sure, the bathrooms are usually a mess and the food is pretty bad.  (Pack a sandwich or a salad for the ride – not only is the food on Amtrak bad, they often run out of stuff before you get to your destination.)

A Northeast Regional train pulling
into the BWI Amtrak station

On the plus side, you get more space for your luggage, wider seats and more legroom on Amtrak than you would have if you had flown – and the seating is two by two, so there are no middle seats.

Here’s a pro tip for Amtrak travel.  Pay the few extra dollars it costs for “Flex Fare” – that way, you can reschedule or cancel a trip at anytime prior to your train’s departure and get a full refund.  

Where to Stay

There are a zillion hotels in New York City.  Most of them are ridiculously expensive, and the ones that aren’t have the tiniest rooms you’ve ever seen.  I’ve been in rooms without windows, rooms where one side of the bed is against a wall (so a person sleeping on that side has to roll over to the other side to get out of bed), and rooms where there’s so little room between the foot of the bed and the wall that you have turn sideways and shuffle your feet to get from one side to the other.

On my last trip to the Big Apple, I stayed at the Blue Angel – which is a Choice Hotels property – in Midtown East.  

It was reasonably priced and the rooms weren’t too small.  There’s no free breakfast, no swimming pool, and no room service.  But it’s conveniently located within easy walking distance of two important subway lines, and it’s on a quiet street.

Day One

Your train will deliver you New York’s Penn Station.  If you’ve never been there, be prepared – it’s a more hellish place than you can imagine.  

If you took my advice and reserved a room at the Blue Angel, head straight for the A/C/E subway line and take the uptown E train to the Lexington Ave/53rd Street station – only five stops away – and walk two blocks to the hotel.  (Pay attention!  If you don’t, you may get on a downtown E train, or – even worse – an A or C train.)

You don’t need to buy a fare card to ride the New York subways if you have a contactless credit card – you just tap your card on the reader and push through the turnstile.  (Your credit card is contactless if it features a series of four curved lines resembling a Wi-Fi icon turned sideways on your the front or back.)

P. J. Clarke’s

After you check in, have lunch at P. J. Clarke’s, a storied old New York joint which is only a block from the Blue Angel.  Johnny Mercer wrote “One for My Baby (and One More for the Road)” on a bar napkin at P. J. Clarke’s, Buddy Holly proposed to his wife there, and Woody Allen spent a lot of time there in his younger days.  Also, it’s mentioned in a Truman Capote short story and Strangers on a Train, was a hangout for the Sterling Cooper crew in the Mad Men TV series, and was the inspiration for the fictional “Nat’s Bar” in The Lost Weekend.  

Don’t overthink things when you get there – just order a bacon cheeseburger like everyone else.  (Nat King Cole dubbed the P. J. Clarke bacon cheeseburger “the Cadillac of hamburgers” back in the fifties.)

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A lot of people who visit New York City spend a lot of money to get a view of the city from an observation deck.  The traditional spot to go for that is the Empire State Building, but guess what you miss by going there – you miss seeing the Empire State Building!  

There are some newer observation decks that are even higher and feature all sorts of extra bells and whistles – like the SUMMIT One Vanderbilt and the Edge at Hudson Yards.  

The rooftop bar at 230 Fifth

But I’m not a fan of heights, and I’m not a fan of spending money – so I recommend heading to 230 Fifth, a spacious rooftop bar that gives you not only a birds-eye view of the Empire State Building, but also a chance to gawp at the crowds of trashy-looking young people who come there to sip overpriced frozen drinks served in plastic bags with straws like a kids’ juice pouch.

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Next, it’s time to head to the Theater District to see a show.  You can choose a tried-and-true musical like Chicago or something more serious – the revival of Death of a Salesman would be a good choice.  

Theater tickets aren’t cheap.  Once you do a Google search to find out what is playing, you’ll be deluged with social media ads offering discounts for dozens of productions.  You can try the TKTS booth, or show up when the theater opens and hope you get a cheap “rush” ticket, but I recommend not wasting a lot of time trying to save a few bucks on ducats.  (If you’re that hard up for do-re-mi, you have no business going to New York in the first place.)

If you had a sufficiently late lunch at P. J. Clarke’s, you can get away with skipping dinner and grabbing a post-theater slice of pizza on a paper plate from one of the seemingly infinite number of pizza joints in Manhattan.  Sure, most of that pizza kind of sucks, but grabbing a slice is part of an authentic New York experience.

A New York City pedicab

The New York subway runs all night, so don’t worry about missing the last train back to the Blue Angel.  Alternatively, you can flag down one of the neon-lighted, music-blaring pedicabs that will swarm your theater when the play ends.  (Doing that is a dead giveaway to everyone that you’re a clueless tourist, but that’s already pretty obvious from the way you’re dressed.)

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In the next 2 or 3 lines, I’ll give you my suggested itinerary for the second day of your three-day New York City trip.

In the meantime, click here to listen to today’s featured song, which was released in 1976 on the Ramones’ eponymous debut album.

“53rd and 3rd” refers to the intersection of East 53rd Street and 3rd Avenue in Manhattan.  (Always give the street number first, then the avenue number – not the other way around.)  

The song was written by the late Ramones bassist Dee Dee Ramone (né Douglas Glenn Colvin), and is supposedly based on his personal experience working as a male prostitute to support his heroin habit.  I’m not  sure if he actually solicited tricks at 53rd and 3rd – which is just a short walk from the Blue Angel – or if he just liked the way “53rd and 3rd” sounded.

Click here to order “53rd and 3rd” from Amazon.