Groucho Marx – "I'm Against It" (1932)

Your proposition may be good

But let’s have one thing understood:

Whatever it is, I'm against it!

The Washington Post recently reported that the Trump Administration is using tariffs in hopes of achieving an array of national security goals.

The primary goal of this strategy seems to be to limit China’s strategic influence throughout the world.  But China is not the administration’s only target.    

For example, Trump has threatened to impose a 50 percent tariff on imports from India because that country is supporting Russia’s war against Ukraine by buying two million barrels of oil a day from Russia.  (Before Russia invaded Ukraine, India purchased a negligible amount of oil from Russia.  But since the invasion of Ukraine, Russia has become India’s largest source of oil.)

The use of tariff threats as a diplomatic tool “sent shock waves” through the State Department, according to one anonymous source.  “This isn’t normally how it works.”

*     *     *     *     *

Many of you reading this post will immediately decide that the new tariff strategy is a terrible idea simply because it came from Trump, while many others will immediately decide that it’s a great idea simply because it came from Trump. 

I’m keeping an open mind on this issue for the time being.  Until I know more about the pros and cons of this strategy, I’m not ready to take a position supporting or opposing it.

But I am ready to take the position that “This isn’t normally how it works” is NOT a good reason for opposing that strategy.

In fact, “This isn’t normally how it works” may be the WORST possible reason for opposing an idea.

*     *     *     *     *

“I’m Against It” was featured in a 2 or 3 lines post a couple of years ago, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I feature it again – it’s so apropos with regards to so many situations.

Click here to watch Groucho Marx singing “I’m Against It” in the 1932 movie, Horse Feathers.

Click here to buy the movie from Amazon.

Groucho Marx – "I'm Against It" (1932)

Whatever it is

I’m against it!

The last 2 or 3 lines featured the Ramones’ 1978 record, “I’m Against It.” 

What are the Ramones against?  Politics, Jesus freaks, water bugs, the Viet Cong, Burger King . . . pretty much anything.

I have to think the Ramones got the idea for “I’m Against It” from a song with the identical title that opened the 1932 Marx Brothers’ comedy, Horse Feathers. 

Groucho Marx in Horse Feathers

Horse Feathers was the fourth of the 13 Marx Brothers movies to be released, and it’s one of their best.  

The movie’s most famous moment is when Groucho – who portrayed the president of the fictional Huxley College, Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff – tells Harpo that he can’t burn the candle at both ends.  But Harpo proves him wrong.

Click here to watch that scene.

*     *     *     *     *

“I’m Against It” includes the following lines:

I don’t know what they have to say

It makes no difference anyway

Whatever it is, I’m against it

Your proposition may be good

But let’s have one thing understood:

Whatever it is, I'm against it

The Ramones would certainly approve.

Click here to watch the scene from Horse Feathers featuring “I’m Against It.”

Click here to buy the movie from Amazon.

Ramones – "I'm Against It" (1978)

Well, I'm against it!

I'm against it!

Me, too!

(I could stop right there, making this the shortest 2 or 3 lines post ever.  But brevity has never been the soul of 2 or 3 lines’s wit, so that ain’t happenin’ – not today, and probably not ever.)

*     *     *     *     *

The Ramones were having a very bad day when they wrote the lyrics to “I’m Against It.”

Here’s the first verse:

I don’t like politics

I don’t like Communists

I don’t like games and fun

I don’t like anyone

I don’t like politics either – or Communists.  

But I’m a big fan of games and fun.  (Perhaps the Ramones were being just a tad tongue in cheek here?)

The next verse goes like this:

I don’t like Jesus freaks

I don’t like circus geeks

I don’t like summer and spring

I don’t like anything

I can take Jesus freaks or leave them – the same goes for circus geeks.  (Speaking of Jesus freaks, when’s the last time you saw a Jesus freak?  They used to be a dime a dozen, but I haven’t run across a good Jesus freak in ages.)

Summer and spring are M-O-N-E-Y!  (More tongue-in-cheekiness, I suspect.)

*     *     *     *     *

I don’t like sex and drugs

I don’t like water bugs

I don’t care about poverty

All I care about is me

The Ramones didn’t like sex and drugs?  Hahahahaha!  (You can’t kid a kidder, boys.)

Water bugs are certainly a nuisance – but the Ramones were probably talking about cockroaches, who many people refer to as water bugs.  (True water bugs – Lethocerus americanus – are unrelated to cockroaches.)

Lethocerus americanus

I know I should care about poverty.  But I can’t honestly say it’s a priority for me.

“All I care about is me”?  (For most of us, that’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.)

I don’t like playing ping pong

I don’t like the Viet Cong

I don’t like Burger King

I don’t like anything

Ping pong isn’t a great game – but it’s not the worst.

The Ramones got it right about the Viet Cong – they were nasty little bast*rds.  And Burger King has always been second-best to McDonald’s.

“I don’t like anything” seems a little extreme.  I suspect the Ramones are serving us a heapin’ helpin’ of hyperbole.  (And if anyone knows hyperbole when he sees it, it’s yours truly.) 

*     *     *     *     *

There’s another song titled “I’m Against It” that you need to know about.  We’re talk about it in the next 2 or 3 lines.  

In the mean time, click here to enjoy “I’m Against It,” Ramones-style.

Click here to buy the record from Amazon.