Harvey Danger – "Wine, Women, and Song" (2005)

Didn’t you used to be someone

Who meant something to me?

Ron Charles of the Washington Post couldn’t get enough of Deepti Kapoor’s recently-published novel, Age of Vice: 

Swinging from the hovels to the palaces of contemporary India, this hypnotic story poses a horrible dilemma: For days, I was torn between gorging on “Age of Vice” or rationing out the chapters to make them last. Finally free from the book’s grip, now all I want to do is get others hooked.

Charles promised his readers that Kapoor’s “lush thriller” featured a “ferocious plot, arresting characters and electric dialogue.”  So I immediately ran to the nearest public library and grabbed a copy.

I started reading Age of Vice in early March.  I think Charles’s description off the book is accurate, but it’s now early June and I still have 75 pages to go.  

What’s up with that?

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Since graduating from law school in 1977, I’ve been writing down the name of every book I’ve read.

In a typical year, I read almost 50 books – in other words, about one book per week.

But in the first ten weeks of 2023, I read only four novels – all of which were relatively short and easy reads.  That’s about half as many as you would have expected me to have finished given my past history.

I’m flunking this challenge badly!

And in the following ten weeks, I couldn’t even manage to complete one book.  

I could polish off the rest of Age of Vice in an hour or so if I made my mind up to do so.  I do think I will get to the end by June 6.  But that’s a full three months – or 13 weeks – after I finished my previous book.

*     *     *     *     *

The fault, dear reader, is not in Age of Vice, but in 2 or 3 lines (to paraphrase Cassius’s often-quoted line in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar).  

I could blame the falloff in the number of books I’m reading on the demands of producing my wildly successful little blog.  But as my loyal readers have no doubt noticed, I’m producing fewer 2 or 3 lines posts than I once did – and spending less time on each post that I do manage to publish.

I could point to the fact that I now have nine grandchildren, and I try to spend time with each one every week.

And playing trivia three times a week consumes some time that I would otherwise spend reading.

But those are just excuses.  The truth is that I fritter away a lot of time. 

*     *     *     *     *

Those of you who are personally acquainted with me probably assume that most of that time-frittering relates to wine, women, and song.  

After all, I have an average 4.7 rating on Yelp Dating, with comments like “sparkling personality,” “knows his way around the fairer sex,” and “handsome and fit (adjusted for age).”

Unfortunately, that is not the case.  

Where my time is going remains something of a mystery to me.  But the fact remains that my book-reading pace has slowed to a crawl.  

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“Wine, Women, and Song” is the first track on Harvey Danger’s third and final studio album, Little by Little, which was released in 2005.

It’s a clever piece of songwriting, but it’s no “Flagpole Sitta.”

Click here to listen to “Wine, Women, and Song.”

Click here to order the song from Amazon.

Flamin' Groovies – "Slow Death" (1972)

I called the doctor

Up in the morning

I had a fever

It was a warning

In the previous 2 or 3 lines, I told you that I have a pretty good idea how I will die.  (I’m guessing my death will be bicycle-related, not fever-related.). But I have no idea when I will die.

If you’d like to know when you’re going to die, all you have to do is click here and enter your date of birth, gender, the country you live in, your smoking history, and your body mass index (or “BMI”).  The Death Clock will use that info to predict the exact date of your death.

Do I plan to utilize the Death Clock myself?  No siree Bob!  I can’t imagine how horrible it would be to know exactly how long one is going to live.

Oh, sure . . . I know that there is virtually no chance that I would die on the date predicted by the Death Clock.  But that date would be there in the back of my mind – and as that date got closer, you betcha it would bother me.

It would bother me a lot.

*     *     *     *     *

Earlier this year, the Washington Post published an article about a recently-published best-selling novel titled The Measure.

What’s The Measure about?  From the Post:

[The book] opens with quite the plot twist.  One morning, everybody on the planet wakes up to a surprise at their front door: a small wooden box, personally engraved, with the words: “The measure of your life lies within.”  Each box contains a string whose length determines the length of the recipient’s life.

The characters now face a gut-wrenching decision.  Do they open the box and find out how long they will live?  If yes, what will they do with that knowledge?  If not, which means they’re choosing not to know, will they live any differently?

The author of that Post article believes that those characters in the book who know they aren’t going to live a long time may actually be the lucky ones because they will likely be inspired to make the most of their remaining years.  He quotes with approval one of the novel’s short-string recipients:

It’s easy to look at our time together and think that we were so unlucky.  But isn’t it better to spend ten years really loving someone, rather than forty years growing bored or weary or bitter?

I’m not qualified to comment on whether that character is right or wrong – at least not yet.

All I know is that I want no part of knowing what day I’m going to die.  Surprise me!

*     *     *     *     *

   

The Flamin’ Groovies released “Slow Death” as a single in 1972.  It was written by Cyril Jordan and Roy Loney (who left the band shortly after the song was recorded) and was produced by Dave Edmunds, who later produced the group’s best album, Shake Some Action.

Chris Wilson, who took over as the band’s lead singer when Loney left, had this to say about “Slow Death” when I interviewed him in 2013:

We thought "Shake Some Action" might be a single.  However, our record company [United Artists] had other ideas and released "Slow Death" as our first single.  We thought it was an album track, not a single.  We should have stuck to our guns.  If "You Tore Me Down" and "Shake Some Action" had been released as singles in 1972 rather than "Slow Death" and "Married Woman," who knows how things might have turned out?

Click here to listen to “Slow Death.”

Click here to buy the record from Amazon.

Alice Cooper – "Under My Wheels" (1971)

I’m driving in my car now

I got you under my wheels

It’s certainly possible than I will succumb to cancer or a heart attack some day.  But I’m thinking that I’m probably going to die while riding my bicycle.

I do a lot of bike riding.  I try to stay off the streets – who wants to ride on a busy street with cars zooming past you like you don’t even exist? 

But even if you’re riding on a dedicated bike path, you’re probably going to have to cross a street sooner or later – which means you’re going to have encounters with cars.

*     *     *     *     * 

Bicycles generally have the right of way when crossing an intersection – especially when there is a zebra crossing or a sign directing automobile drivers to yield to bike riders.  But you can’t always trust drivers.

Good luck, bicycle guy!

Almost exactly a year ago, I was using a zebra crossing – that is, a crosswalk marked with broad white stripes – to cross a street.  The car entering the intersection from my left slowed down, and I assumed he was going to stop and yield the right of way, as he was required to do.  But the bast*rd never saw me – he looked to the left, but never to the right . . . which is where I was.  Just as I started to enter the crosswalk from and pass in front of his car, he hit the gas, and ran right into me.

Fortunately for me, he wasn’t going very fast.  So while he knocked me off my bike, he didn’t injure me.  He didn’t even damage my bike – I hopped back on it and continued on my merry way . . . after screaming obscenities at the very apologetic driver for five minutes or so.

*     *     *     *     *

According to the federal government, about 1000 cyclists die annually as a result of being hit by cars.  Another 130,000 are injured.

Did you know that male bicyclists are six times more likely to die in a collision with an automobile than female bike riders?

I’m guessing I’m about sixty times more likely to die than the typical female rider.

That’s because I expect drivers to be careful and follow the rules – meaning yielding the right of way to me.

So when I approach a zebra crossing with a sign telling drivers to stop for bikers, I often don’t stop before entering that crosswalk – I keep going, assuming any oncoming drivers to stop for me.

*     *     *     *     *

That’s a big mistake.  A fair number of drivers are so clueless that they are completely unaware they are approaching a zebra crossing – meaning that if I don’t yield to them, they will run me down.

It will probably come as no surprise to you when I tell you that a bike rider usually comes out of a collision with an automobile in much worse shape than the driver of the car.

This white bicycle marks the spot
where a cyclist was killed while riding
on a bike trail that I ride on regularly

So the only smart thing for me to do when I’m about to cross a street is to stop dead in my tracks and make damn sure that any car that’s in the vicinity stops and allows me to cross safely. 

For some reason, I find it very hard to do that.

*     *     *     *     *

“Under My Wheels” was the first single released from Alice Cooper’s 1971 album, Killer.  It peaked at #59 on the Billboard “Hot 100.”

(Only #59?  Really?  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?)

Click here to listen to “Under My Wheels.”

Click here to buy the record from Amazon.

Olympic – "Jen Bůh ví" (1968)

The one who falls asleep at night

Will he wake up?

Only God knows

(I didn’t worry about this kind of stuff when I was young.)

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Earlier this year, a y-u-g-e fan of 2 or 3 lines invited yours truly to see a true icon of Czech rock music perform at the Czech Embassy.

Here’s an excerpt from the press release announcing that event:

The Czechoslovak Society of Arts and Sciences is organizing a benefit concert to support its activities in the Greater Washington DC area.  

The concert will feature legendary Czech rock musician, Petr Janda from the Czech rock group Olympic, which is celebrating its 60th anniversary this year.  

Petr Janda

Janda, who is touring the East Coast, has graciously accepted our invitation to perform at the Czech Embassy.  

Beer will be offered at the event so mark your calendars.  

To paraphrase Renee Zellweiger in Jerry Maguire, you had me at “Beer will be offered at the event”!

*     *     *     *     *

The good news is that the beer at the Petr Janda event came from a very good local craft brewery.  

The better news is that it was free!

The bad news is that the kegs must have been mishandled prior to the event because the beer that was coming out of those kegs was 99.9% foam.

(Just like me!)

I stood in line for what seemed like hours watching as the servers filled plastic cup after plastic cup with foam.  A cup of foam takes several minutes to settle down, and when it does, there’s only about one inch of beer in the cup.  So they would fill the cup with more foam and wait . . . and wait . . . and wait.  (Rinse and repeat – you get the picture.)

I hate to look a gift beer in the mouth, but you simply can’t promise free beer unless you’re sure you can deliver on that promise!

*     *     *     *     *

A lesser man might have pouted in such a situation.  But 2 or 3 lines isn’t going to act like a whiny little b*tch in front of one of his biggest fans – especially when that fan is a stylish and beautiful Czech-born woman who could not say enough nice things about my wildly popular little blog.

So I swallowed my impatience and eventually was able to grab a couple of almost-foamless beers for myself and my companion, who passed theme while I was in the beer line chatting away happily with several expat friends she had run into.

Later I glimpsed a tear in my fan’s eye as she listened to one of Janda’s ballads.  I wondered if that song had brought to mind some bittersweet remembrance of her younger days in Prague.

But there are some things a gentleman doesn’t ask a lady.  So I sipped my beer and left my friend to her memories.

*     *     *     *     *

Olympic was founded in Prague in 1962, and is still active today.  The most recent of the group’s two dozen albums was released in 2020.

Petr Janda is Olympic’s frontman and principal songwriter.  He celebrated his 81st birthday on May 2, but is still going strong – he’s sort of a Czech Mick Jagger.

“Jen Bůh ví” – usually translated as “Only God Knows” – was released in 1968 on Olympic’s debut album, Želva (or Turtle):

Click here to listen to “Jen Bůh ví.”

Click here to buy that record from Amazon.

 

Love – "Hey Joe" (1966)

Hey Joe, where you going 

With that money in your hand?

If you ask Uncle Sam, “Hey Joe” was written by Billy Roberts, who copyrighted the song in 1962 but never recorded it.  

Some people believe Roberts based “Hey Joe” on “Baby, Please Don’t Go to Town,” a song written by his girlfriend, Niela Horn Miller.  (You can click here to listen to her recording of that song and judge for yourself whether Roberts stole “Hey Joe” from her.)

Billy Roberts

David Crosby of the Byrds somehow heard about the song, and Bryan MacLean – who later became a member of Love – learned about it when he was a roadie for the Byrds.  Both the Byrds and Love eventually recorded “Hey Joe” using the lyrics copyrighted by Roberts – including the lines quoted above.

According to Johnny Echols, Love’s guitarist, the Leaves – a garage band from Southern California who Echols was friendly with – asked him for the lyrics after hearing Love perform the song.  Echols decided to play a trick on the Leaves and told them the song began with “Hey Joe, where you goin’ with that gun in your hand?” rather than “Hey Joe, where you goin’ with that money in your hand?”

The Leaves used “Hey Joe, where you goin’ with that gun in your hand?” when they recorded the song in November 1965.  The group didn’t like the way that recording sounded, so they recorded a second version of the song a couple of months later.  That version flopped, but the Leaves didn’t give up.  They recorded it one more time, and that version made it to #31 on the Billboard “Hot 100” chart.

Jimi Hendrix supposedly became interested in recording the song when he heard Tim Rose’s cover on a jukebox in New York City.  I have to wonder about that because Rose’s version used the “Hey Joe, where you goin’ with that money in your hand?” line, while began his cover with “Hey Joe, where you goin’ with that gun in your hand?”  That seems odd.

*     *     *     *     *

“Hey Joe” was subsequently covered by dozens of other recording artists. 

Click here to listen to the Byrds’ 1966 recording of “Hey Joe,” which David Crosby later characterized as “a mistake.”  (No sh*t, Sherlock!)

Click here to listen to the Standells’ 1966 version of “Hey Joe.” 

Click here to listen to the Music Machine’s 1966 cover of “Hey Joe.”

Click here to hear Johnny Halladay’s 1967 French-language recording of the song.

Click here if you want to listen to Patti Smith’s virtually unlistenable 1974 cover of “Hey Joe.”

And click here to watch a video of 7273 guitarists setting a Guinness record by playing “Hey Joe” in Wroclaw, Poland.

*      *      *      *      *

Click here to listen to Love’s recording of “Hey Joe,” which was released on that group’s eponymous debut album in March 1966.  (Bryan MacLean is the lead vocalist on that track instead of the band usual lead singer, Arthur Lee.)

Click here to buy the record from Amazon.

Jimi Hendrix Experience – "Hey Joe" (1966)

Hey Joe, where you going

With that gun in your hand?

Stanley Jordan started taking piano lessons when he was six years old.  But he switched to the guitar when he was 11.

What made him drop the piano and take up the guitar?  The death of Jimi Hendrix.

“When I got the news that Jimi had died, I remember the shock and sadness,” Jordan told a reporter. “That was the moment I made up my mind: ‘I’m going to play the guitar’.”

Jordan’s decision to change instruments turned out to be a wise one.  After graduating from Princeton in 1981, he quickly established himself as a jazz guitarist.  His first studio album, Magic Touch, set a record when it went to #1 on Billboard’s jazz chart in 1985 and remained there for 51 weeks.

A couple of years ago, Jordan began to channel Jimi Hendrix in a new live show he called “Stanley Plays Jimi.”  In those shows, Jordan takes the stage dressed like Hendrix – complete with a large Afro wig and Hendrix’s signature headband – and performs covers of some of Hendrix’s best-known records (like “Foxey Lady” and “Purple Haze”).  He also plays some deeper Hendrix cuts, including “Little Wing,” “Red House,” and “Voodoo Chile.”

Stanley Jordan as Jimi Hendrix

*     *     *     *     *

I recently saw Jordan’s “Stanley Plays Jimi” show at Blues Alley, which is Washington, DC’s premier jazz club.

Jordan is a remarkable guitarist.  He’s famous for his unusual two-handed tapping technique – instead of plucking or strumming the string, he produces notes by tapping the string with his fingertips. Click here to watch Jordan demonstrating that technique at the Newport Jazz Festival in 1986.  

A friend who saw the “Stanley Plays Jimi” show that night thought Jordan’s attempt to look like Hendrix was a bit much, and also wished that Jordan hadn’t imitated Hendrix’s playing style quite so closely – she would have liked the show better if Jordan had taken more liberties with the Hendrix originals and injected more of himself into his performance.

I had a different reaction.  My only complaint about the show was that it didn’t include several of my favorite Hendrix tracks – like “Manic Depression,” “Are You Experienced,” and “Hey Joe.”

That should come as no surprise to anyone given that I’m one of those guys who always wanted any group he saw live to play their big hits instead of a bunch of songs from their crappy new album that I had never heard before.  

In fact, I’m still a little pissed about a Sonic Youth concert that I attended in 1998 because the group played almost none of my favorites that night.  Instead, they chose to feature on tracks from their A Thousand Leaves album, which had been released only the day before their Washington appearance – meaning that I had no chance to familiarize myself with the music on it.  Today, A Thousand Leaves is one of my favorite Sonic Youth albums – I think it’s brilliant – but that night, those unfamiliar tracks were only so much noise.

*     *     *     *     *

The great Russian playwright Anton Chekhov once said that if there’s a rifle hanging on the wall in the first act of a play, that rifle must be fired in the second or third act.

(You don’t get it, do you?)

“Hey Joe” follows Chekhov’s principle.  It mentions a gun in the first verse, and pretty soon that gun is fired – with fatal effect.

Purt near everyone covered “Hey Joe” back in the day.  The song has quite a history, which I will explore in the very next 2 or 3 lines.

The Jimi Hendrix Experience released their cover “Hey Joe” as their first single.  It made it all the way to #6 in the UK, but failed to break into the Billboard “Hot 100” in the U.S.  

Believe it or not, Jimi Hendrix had only one top 40 single in the U.S. – “All Along the Watchtower” (which was nothing special).

That’s right – neither “Hey Joe” nor “Purple Haze” nor “Foxey Lady” nor “Crosstown Traffic” nor “Stone Free” cracked the top 40.  (How is that even possible?) 

Click here to watch a video of Jordan covering “Hey Joe.”  (Two minutes in, Jordan plays a solo using the tapping technique.)

Click here to listen to Hendrix’s recording of “Hey Joe.”  

Click here to buy that record from Amazon.