Suicidal Tendencies – "You Can't Bring Me Down" (1990)

I'd rather feel like sh*t

Than be full of sh*t

[NOTE: Today, 2 or 3 lines (and so much more) presents part three of what is shaping up to be an interminable interview of 2 or 3 lines (the blogger, not the blog) by 2 or 3 lines (ditto).  Click here to read part two of that interview.]

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2 or 3 lines:  One of the very first 2 or 3 lines posts featured the Eurythmics song, “Would I Lie to You?”  Here’s a quote from that post: “Everyone lies.  Men lie.  Women lie.  I don’t think dogs lie, but cats certainly do.”  Do you still believe that?

2 or 3 lines:  Absolutely.  Especially the part about dogs and cats.

Q:  You embedded a video of a live performance of that song in that post, and said that you did so because it included a really good saxophone solo.  [NOTE: you can click here to view that video.]  Was that a lie?

Annie Lennox of the Eurythmics

A:  That statement was an obvious lie, which means it wasn’t a lie at all – it was hyperbole, or maybe irony, but it wasn't really a lie. 

Q:  You were a lawyer who spent a good deal of your career thinking about the difference between truthfulness and deception.  As you know, literally truthful statements can still be deceptive.  Silence can be deceptive as well.  You said earlier in this interview that what you’ve written in 2 or 3 lines is honest, even though much of it may not be literally true.

A:  There’s a Will Ferrell movie about a pair of male figure skaters called Blades of Glory – do you remember it?  Ferrell quotes the Black Eyed Peas song that includes the phrase "lady lumps,” and one of the characters says he doesn’t know what “lady lumps” means.  Ferrell responds, “No one knows what it means, but it's provocative . . . it gets the people going!”  Sometimes I just have to say something provocative – something that gets my readers going!  

Q:  I’m pretty sure I know what “lady lumps” means.

A:  Me, too.

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Q:  Are you saying that you exaggerate at times for effect?

A:  Correct.  But what I say is essentially true – at least from my point of view.  It may not be true for you, of course – like beauty, truth is in the eye of the beholder.  But it’s what I don’t say that creates the real truthfulness issue.

Q:  What do you mean?

A:  To the extent that 2 or 3 lines is dishonest, it’s because of what I don’t say.  Every time I type something that’s true, and then delete it because I’m worried about how one or more of my readers will react to it, I’m being dishonest.  As time goes on, I seem to be censoring myself more and more.

Q:  What motivates this self-censorship?

A:  I will tone down what I write or even avoid a topic altogether because I’m afraid I’m going to offend someone.  I’m not talking about my readers generally – I don’t really care whether some stranger halfway around the world is pissed off by something I write.  I’m talking about readers I know personally.  There have been cases where something I’ve written has affected my relationship with someone, which can make you a little gunshy – I find myself picking a more neutral topic or at least watering down what I say.  But there’s a bigger problem than that.

Q:  Which is . . . ?

A:  I’ve written posts that I hope will favorably impress one or more people – make them like me or think more highly of me.  I can’t claim that everything in those posts is really honest.    

Q:  This sounds like this is a significant concern for you.

A:  It is.  Maybe it would be better if no one knew who wrote 2 or 3 lines.  If I was writing anonymously, I could be much more honest.  

Q:  It’s never too late to start a new blog and keep your identity a secret.

A:  I’ll never do that.  I’m much too needy – I want attention and I want praise from my readers.  

Q:  Do you readers give you that?

A:  Sometimes, although not enough of it. 

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Q:  What about criticism?  Do you get many negative comments from your readers?

A:  Some people take what I say way too seriously.  When I’m critical of a song or performer that a reader is a fan of, it’s like I’ve attacked that reader personally.  Come on, man – just because you don’t like what I say, do you have to take it as a personal affront?

Q:  Give me an example.

A:  A few years ago, I wrote about “Yellow Submarine,” by the Beatles.  I said it was a bad song.  Sorry, boys and girls, but it IS a bad song.  

Q:  And some of your readers took umbrage at that.

A:  You would have thought that I had written that their children were ugly.  I was accused by one person of spreading “disinformation.”  

Q:  I’m looking at an online dictionary, which says that “disinformation” is “intentionally false or inaccurate information that is spread deliberately.”  

A:  Which is obviously a 100% unfair characterization of my “Yellow Submarine” post.  I didn’t make up facts, or quote people out of context – I just said that it was a terrible song.  I think it was clear that what I stated was just my opinion.  It's fine if you have a different opinion and think that my opinion is stupid.  Although you’d be wrong, of course.

Q:  My mother used to say, “Opinions are like elbows – everyone has a couple, and mine are no prettier than yours.”

A:  I heard a slightly different version of that saying – but about a different body part.

Q:  Yes?

A:  Never mind.  Let me give you one other example of how ugly things can get with.  A few years ago, I wrote a post that was probably too snarky by half – not the first time I’ve done that, of course – and a couple of my readers took offense.  So I went back and toned it down – took out the gratuitous snarkiness — but those readers still weren’t happy.  One of them who should have known better questioned the authenticity of a quote from a well-known figure that I used. 

Q:  Not everything you read on the internet is true.

A:  Take my word for it – this quote came from an interview of this guy by a well-known national publication, and there was no reason to think that his quote wasn’t accurate, or that he had subsequently changed his opinion.  Let’s face it – the reader had been blindsided to learn that this iconic figure, who was a hero of hers, had criticized something that she thought was great.  She couldn’t handle the truth, so she simply denied it. 

Q:  I’ve noticed that 2 or 3 lines hasn’t touched on politics for quite some time.

A:  I’ve been avoiding writing about politics because PEOPLE HAVE LOST THEIR MINDS when it comes to politics these days.  People with different opinions on political questions used to be able to debate the merits of their respective viewpoints without going ballistic and calling names and accusing one another of bad faith – which isn’t the case any more.  So 2 or 3 lines won’t be touching the 2020 election with a ten-foot pole.  

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2 or 3 lines:  Today’s featured song, “You Can’t Bring Me Down,” was released in 1990 on Lights . . . Camera . . . Revolution! – which was Suicidal Tendencies’ fifth studio album.  I’m sure it was no accident that you chose to feature it today. 

2 or 3 lines:  You got that right.  It’s not my favorite song ever, but it’s got the right attitude – and having the right attitude is very important.    

Q:  The lyrics you quoted at the beginning of this post are reminiscent of the favorite catchphrase of 2 or 3 lines – “He (or she) is so full of sh*t that his eyes are brown.” I’d be a rich man if I had a dollar for every time you described someone using those words.

A:  And every time I’ve described someone that way, I was 100% correct. 

Q:  What color are your eyes?

A:  Not brown.  Not even a little bit.

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Click here to listen to “You Can’t Bring Me Down.”

And click on the link below to buy the song from Amazon:

Tru Fax and the Insaniacs – "The Problem Is Me" (1982)

I’ve got friends, status, money, health

I’m popular, good-looking
There must be something else

[NOTE:  Today's 2 or 3 lines features the second part of our groundbreaking interview with . . . 2 or 3 lines!  Just click here if you missed part one.]

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2 or 3 lines:  You’ve reached an important milestone.  Ten years is a long time to keep a blog going.

2 or 3 lines:  Truer words were never spoken.

Q:  Do you plan to keep going?  Will 2 or 3 lines be around for another ten years?

A:  If I live that long.

Q:  [Knocks on wood.]  So no thoughts of pulling the plug?

A:  I might have done that after the first year.  But the longer I go with 2 or 3 lines, the less likely I am to pull the plug.

Q:  But isn’t it tempting?  Think of all the additional time you would have to fiddle about – not in the Uncle Ernie sense, of course – if you weren’t committed to producing new material for 2 or 3 lines every week.

A:  Pulling the plug would take a lot of pressure off me – which may sound silly, because that pressure is 100% self-imposed.  

Q:  So why not do it?

A:  I’m still hoping that 2 or 3 lines will become something better than what is currently is.  Did you take Latin in high school?

Q:  I did – but that was a long time ago.

 A:  There’s a Latin saying “Dum spiro, spero” – which can be translated as, “While I breathe, I hope.”    As long as you’re alive, there’s a possibility that things will get better.  A baseball team can be down to its final out – even its final strike – but as long as the game isn’t over, it still has a chance to win.  Maybe that chance is very small, but it exists.  And as long as I keep 2 or 3 lines going, there’s a possibility that it will grow into something much greater than what it currently is.  But as soon as I pull the plug on it, that possibility disappears.    

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2 or 3 lines:  It’s clear that 2 or 3 lines is very important to you.  Can you articulate why that is?  

2 or 3 lines:  One reason that I write 2 or 3 lines is that I feel a need to explain myself to the world – to communicate who and what I am.  I recently came across a quote from a Swedish academic named Jenny Sunden that may explain the motivation for 2 or 3 lines as well as anything: “In order to exist online, we must write ourselves into being.”  That’s what I’m trying to do with 2 or 3 lines – I’m writing myself into being, and sharing that being with my readers . . . especially my children and my grandchildren (when they’re old enough to read).  

Q:  Do you see 2 or 3 lines as a kind of legacy?

A:  I suppose 2 or 3 lines is a legacy in the sense that it’s something tangible I’m leaving behind, but it’s of more than casual interest to only a very small number of people.  The fact that people worry about their legacy proves how vain we are.  

Q:  Speaking of being vain, do you think it’s at all vain to have yourself conduct a lengthy interview with yourself about yourself?

A:  I’ll ignore your interruption and continue with my response to your question about whether I see 2 or 3 lines as my legacy.  I’ve come to terms with the fact that no one will remember what I accomplished as a lawyer, and that I haven’t written a great novel or created some other memorable work of art – but the vast majority of lawyers and novelists and artists will be forgotten relatively quickly after they die.  The most meaningful legacy I will be leaving behind isn't 2 or 3 lines.  It's my children, and my grandchildren, and so on.   A lot of what I write is intended to enable them to know me better. 

Q:  You once paraphrased the famous Louis XIV quote, “L’état, c’est moi” – which can be translated as “The nation is me” – as “Le 2 or 3 lines, c’est moi.”  That statement can be read in two different ways.  Maybe you’re simply saying that 2 or 3 lines is wholly your creation – that you’re the chicken and that 2 or 3 lines is your egg.  Or maybe you’re saying that you are what 2 or 3 lines says you are.  Which is it?  

A:  Both, I think.  Most people would say that someone is what he is rather than  what he says he is.  Of course, no one knows a person as well as that person knows himself.  An honest autobiography is always going to be more revealing and comprehensive than a biography.  While autobiographies aren't always honest, everything I write about myself in 2 or 3 lines is the truth.  Not necessarily in an objective sense, but everyone knows that there’s really no such thing as “objective” truth. 

Q:  Was what you wrote about your hot (age-adjusted) French girlfriend the truth?  Did she really exist?  

A:  Absolutely!  

Q:  We haven’t heard anything about her in a long time – just sayin’.

A:  That’s because she’s now my hot (age-adjusted) French ex-girlfriend.

Q:  I’m sorry to hear that.

A:  Not half as sorry as I am. 

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2 or 3 lines:  Let’s shift gears and discuss today’s featured song.  It is well-known that you love irony, and I’m smelling more than a whiff of irony in the lines from today’s featured song that are quoted at the beginning of this post.  

2 or 3 lines:  I can’t deny it – I am one ironic son of a b*tch.

Q:  Is the singer of “The Problem Is Me” being ironic?

A:  You bet your *ss she is.  She doesn’t really believe the problem is her – she believes someone else is at fault.  After all, she’s popular and good-looking, she  has money, status, etc. – how can she possibly be the problem? 

Q.  Good question.

A:  But the real irony here is that the singer really is the problem.  There’s a type of irony called dramatic irony, which is when a character in a play or a movie says something that he or she believes is true, but which the audience knows is false.  Here we have an ironic variation on dramatic irony: the singer intends her words to be ironic, but we know that what she is saying is actually true.  

[NOTE:  Here endeth part two of the 2 or 3 lines interview of 2 or 3 lines.  Click here to read part three of the interview.]

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Click here to listen to “The Problem Is Me,” which was released in 1982 on Tru Fax and the Insaniacs’ first and only (to date) album, Mental Decay:

Unfortunately, “The Problem Is Me” is not currently available for purchase from Amazon or iTunes.