Royal Blood – "Figure It Out" (2014)

Nothing here to see

Just a kid like me

Tryin’ to figure it out

There’s an old joke about a preacher who was in danger of drowning after a storm caused a river to flood.

As the waters rose, the preacher knelt in prayer on his church’s front steps. By and by, one of his flock approached the church in the canoe.

“Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast!”

No,” says the preacher. “I have faith in the Lord. He will save me.”

The rising waters forced the preacher to climb up on the church’s roof.  He was wringing his hands in supplication when another member of his congregation came up in a motorboat.

“Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute!”

Once again, the preacher was unmoved. “I shall remain. The Lord will see me through.”

After a while the levee broke, and the flood waters rose until only the steeple remained above water. The preacher climbed up there, clinging to the cross, when a rescue helicopter appeared and dropped a rope ladder.  The pilot called down to him through a bullhorn.

“Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance!”

Once again, the preacher insisted the Lord would deliver him.  So he drowned.

When he arrived in heaven, the preacher tracked down God. “Lord, I had unwavering faith in you,” the preacher said. “Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?”

God just shook his head. “What the hell did you want from me?  I sent you two boats and a helicopter.”

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Last week, I drove to Pittsburgh to watch the NCAA Division III women’s volleyball championships.  (My sister-in-law is a veteran college volleyball coach with over a thousand victories under her belt, and her team had advanced all the way to the finals.)

Pittsburgh is a four-hour-plus drive from where I live, which gave me lots of time to listen to the Sirius/XM in my car.  I rarely listen to Howard Stern any more, but I had heard he was interviewing Quentin Tarantino, so I listened to that on my way to Pittsburgh.

When I got in the car the next day for the drive back, the Stern channel was replaying a 2015 interview with a British rock duo called Royal Blood.  I had never heard of Royal Blood, so I changed stations almost immediately.

When I arrived home that night, it was time for Drew Carey’s “Friday Night Freakout” show on the “Underground Garage” channel – which I think is hands down the most interesting show on Sirius/XM.

Drew Carey, DJ extraordinaire!

About an hour into the show, Carey played a  record I had never heard before.  I clicked on the microphone icon on my Google search bar (which is my go-to method for identifying unfamiliar music) and learned that the record Carey was playing was “Figure It Out” by none other than Royal Blood – the same Royal Blood whose visit with Howard Stern I had stumbled across earlier in the day.

Coincidence?  I think not.

Like the preacher, I ignored the guy in the canoe.  But I paid attention when the guy in the motorboat arrived.  There was no need to send a helicopter for me.

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Click here to watch the official music video for “Figure It Out,” which was released in 2014 on Royal Blood’s eponymous debut album.

Click here to buy the record from Amazon.