Ben Folds Five – "Song for the Dumped" (1997)

Give me my money back

Give me my money back

You b*tch!

2 or 3 lines became a teenager today.  Fasten your seatbelts, readers – it’s going to be a bumpy few years.

It’s become a tradition for 2 or 3 lines to interview 2 or 3 lines on each anniversary of our first post (which dates to November 1, 2009).  Here’s part one of this year’s interview:

2 or 3 lines:  Today represents yet another 2 or 3 lines milestone – it’s the 13th anniversary of the very first 2 or 3 lines post.

2 or 3 lines:  Today’s post is number 1882, if my math is correct.

Q:  That’s amazing – I don’t think anyone expected that your wildly popular little blog would still be going after 13 years.  I know I certainly didn’t.

A:  To quote Matthew 8:26, “Oh you of little faith!”

Q:  I hear that big changes are coming to 2 or 3 lines in the coming year.

A:  That’s right.  The entire 2 or 3 lines organization will be moving to new digs in the very near future.

Q:  Sounds like you’ve got a big job ahead of you.  

A:  We certainly do – but the change is long overdue.  It’s time to bite the bullet, pack up the whole kit and kaboodle, and get the hell out of Dodge.

Q:  Wow – that’s a lot of idioms in one sentence.  

A:  I don’t do things halfway.

Q:  So why are you making this move now?

A:  It’s been said that the best time to plant a tree was 20 years years ago.  The second-best time is now.

*     *     *     *     *

Q:  I’m guessing that this move is going to be very stressful for you and the entire 2 or 3 lines team. 

A:  Mos’ def’.  I intend to maintain our regular, two-posts-a-week schedule throughout the relocation process, but that may turn out to be impossible.  So if we skip a post or two (or three) in the coming weeks, you’ll know the reason why.

Q:  Speaking of the 2 or 3 lines team, you said you wanted to give kudos to your staff for something they’ve done for you recently.

Q:  That’s right.  Every Saturday morning when the weather is decent, I visit a local farmer’s market to buy goodies for myself and my grandkids – the organic, non-homogenized chocolate milk from grass-fed Jersey cows is a big hit – before taking a long ride on a paved bike trail in Prince George’s County, Maryland. 

A:  Followed by a visit to a local craft brewery, no doubt.

Q:  Yes, but you’re jumping the gun.  

A:  Sorry – back to the bike ride.

Q:  This year, some of my crack staff have been getting up early on Saturdays and using colored chalk to write inspirational messages on the trail.  Here are photos of some of those messages:

“Keep Going”

“You Got This”

“Enjoy The Beauty”

“You Are It”

A:  I don't understand why horses are allowed on the bike trail, but they are.  Fortunately, my staff takes pains to warn me when when an equine has fouled the path:

“Poop”

A:  This past week, one of the 2 or 3 lines team came up with the idea of incentivizing me to keep going by giving me points for reaching certain milestones:

“You Crossed a Bridge: +5 points”

“You Are Reading This: +10 points”

“You Are Still Going: +5 points”

*     *     *     *     *

Q:  You’ve chosen a very interesting record to feature in this 13th anniversary post.  Care to explain what’s behind your choice?

A:  Not really.

Q:  In other words, I should mind my own business?

A:  You took the words right out of my mouth.

Click here to watch the official video for “Song for the Dumped,” which was released in 1997 on the Ben Folds Five’s second studio album, Whatever and Ever Amen.

Click here to buy the record from Amazon.