Hank Williams – "Mind Your Own Business" (1949)

Mindin’ other people’s business

Seems to be high-toned

I got all that I can do just to mind my own

Welcome one and all to the Church of 2 or 3 Lines!  

(Don't be afraid to sit in the front pew, ladies and gentlemen – no need to sit so far back!)

I have delivered many wildly popular sermons to you from this virtual pulpit since founding my church eleven-odd years ago – or, if you prefer, eleven odd years ago.  (The two expressions don’t have the same meaning, but both are accurate apropos of 2 or 3 lines.)

Today’s sermon may not be my most wildly popular one, but I don’t think I’ve ever delivered a truer one.

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I’d like to begin my sermon by quoting Mark 12:28-31, a very well-known New Testament passage that you’re probably familiar with:

And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that [Jesus] answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?”  

Jesus answered, “The most important is you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: you shall love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no other commandment greater than these.”

(You’ve got to admit it: Jesus really knocked it out of the park that day.)

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With apologies to the author of the gospel of Mark – did you know that it was likely the first of the gospels to be written, and was the primary source used by the authors of Matthew and Luke? – here’s my paraphrase of the above passage:

And one of his Facebook friends signed on her account and asked 2 or 3 lines, “Which commandment is the most important of all?”  

2 or 3 lines answered, “The most important is you shall mind your own business – not that of your parents nor that of your children nor that of your neighbors nor that of your co-workers, and especially not that of your husband and/or boyfriend!  The second is this: you shall shut the f*ck up!  There is no other commandment greater than these.”

The next several 2 or 3 lines posts will provide an exegesis of those commandments.  Some of you will quibble with that statement, arguing that what I have written is eisegetical rather than exegetical.

My grandmother would have responded thusly to that argument: Call me eisegetical, or call me exegetical – just don’t call me late for dinner!

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I’m about twice as old as Jesus was when he was crucified – older usually means wiser, so my commandments should be closer to the mark than his.

Of course, Jesus had God telling him what to say, which was a huge advantage – so I’m not going to claim that my commandments are superior to his.  

But I think they are pretty, pretty, pretty good.  

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I’m in a commandment-delivering mood today, so let me give you a few more of them.

Actually, these aren’t exactly “commandments.”  So I’m going to change my terminology from that of the Bible to that of the Declaration of Independence.

2 or 3 lines holds these truths to be self-evident:

– Any significant event from your past took place longer ago (usually, much longer ago) than you think it did.

– One sentence is usually all you need for a good paragraph.

– Less is usually more, and more is usually less.

– Retirement didn’t solve all of my problems, but none of those problems would be solved by my going to work every day.

– This too shall pass.

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2 or 3 lines is first and foremost a music blog, so here are some self-evident truths about music:

– The music of Bruce Springsteen mostly sucks.

– The music of the Grateful Dead mostly sucks.

– The music of Elvis Presley (not to mention the music of Buddy Holly, the Everly Brothers, and virtually every other fifties pop star except for Chuck Berry, Little Richard, and Jerry Lee Lewis)  almost always sucks.

– The music of the Beatles doesn’t suck, but it is overrated – especially in comparison to the music of the Rolling Stones and the Beach Boys.

– Sgt. Pepper is overrated.  (Listen to “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” “She’s Leaving Home,” and especially “When I’m Sixty-Four” and tell me I’m wrong.)

– Their Satanic Majesties Request, which was recorded about the same time as Sgt. Pepper, is underrated.  (Listen to “Citadel,” “The Lantern,” “2000 Light Years from Home,” and “She’s a Rainbow” and tell me I’m wrong.)

– Nothing compares to Pet Sounds.

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I could do this kind of thing all day, but I’m going to stop there and give all of you time to splutter and fulminate and write nasty comments on my Facebook page.  

You’ll just be wasting your time if you do that, of course – to paraphrase Omar Khayyam,

2 or 3 lines writes; and, having writ, moves on: nor all thy piety nor wit shall lure it back to cancel half a line, nor all thy tears wash out a word of it.

(Put that in your pipe and smoke it!)

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My knowledge of country-western music is far from comprehensive, but I know that Hank Williams is the ne plus ultra of country-western singer-songwriters.  (In  other words, he’s most definitely not overrated.)

So if you won’t listen to me when I tell you to mind your own business, maybe you’ll listen to him.  (But probably not.)

“Mind Your Own Business” was a 1949 hit for Williams, who also wrote the song.  It’s lyrics are as apropos now as they were 70-plus years ago.  If 2 or 3 lines had an official theme song, “Mind Your Own Business” might be it.

Just about everyone I know fails to obey my “mind your own business” commandment.  In the next several 2 or 3 lines posts, I will call out a number of newspaper advice columnists, who are among the worst sinners when it comes to breaking that commandment.

Click here to listen to “Mind Your Own Business” (which sounds a lot like Hank’s best song, “Move It On Over”).

Click on the link below to buy the song from Amazon: