Bob Dylan – "Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again" (1966)

Your therapist just knows what you need

But I know what you want

I’m old, and I think about dying from time to time.  But the fact that I’m going to die sooner rather than later isn’t the thing that worries me the most.

I’ll reveal what does worry me the most in the next 2 or 3 lines.  But today I’m going to tell you about a really strange dream I had recently.

I’m not going to describe my dream in detail.  Suffice it to say that it involved a water leak in an apartment or hotel or dormitory room – whatever it was, I don’t think I lived there – and in trying to find someone to fix the leak, I ended up locking myself out of the place without my cell phone.  

There didn’t seem to be anyone else in the building, so I ran outside in hopes of finding someone who could help me solve my predicament – and that’s when I woke up. 

Did I mention that I was naked when all of this was happening?  (That’s probably pretty significant.)

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That night, I told one of the people who I play trivia with about my dream – she’s a psychotherapist, and I thought she might be able to interpret it for me.

“The details of the dream aren't important, although I find it interesting that you were trying to address a problem that wasn’t really your responsibility – because you didn't live there,” she told me.  “What matters is how you felt during the dream.  I assume that being locked out of the room with no phone and no clothes made you feel very vulnerable.”

“You can say that again,” I said.

“So what’s the thing in your life that’s hanging over your head and making you feel so anxious?  And if it’s not really your problem but someone else’s problem, why do you feel responsible for fixing it?” she continued.  “And here’s one other question for you – when you left the building, were you trying to find someone who could help you stop the leak, or were you just running away from the situation?”

I didn’t want to address her questions, so I tried to change the subject.  But she knew enough about me and my living situation to make some pretty good guesses about what might be bothering me.

I couldn’t wait for trivia to end so I could get the hell away from her and her questions.  

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I thought about the dream and what the therapist had to say about it when I was driving home that night, and decided that I should have just kept my mouth shut.  I would have forgotten about the dream in a day or two if I had kept it to myself.  But after I shared it with her, she stirred up enough sh*t to give me bad dreams for a month.

Obviously, it’s much easier to ignore bad dreams than it is to face up to the issues that generated those dreams.  That’s been my strategy for most of my life.

I would advise you to do the same.  You may feel the need to get your bad dreams off your chest, but sharing them with a therapist is a big mistake.  They’re going to want to figure out why you’re having the dreams, and they know the right questions to ask to get to the bottom of things.  

That’s going to be an uncomfortable conversation.  A therapist might tell you that you need to have that conversation, but trust me – you don’t want to have it.  

Capisce?

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The lines that open this post paraphrase these lines from the penultimate verse of Bob Dylan’s “Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again”:

Your debutante just knows what you need

But I know what you want

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I think Dylan got it backward.  

Click here to listen to “Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again.”

Click here to buy that recording from Amazon.

   

Bob Dylan – "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" (1973)

It’s getting dark

Too dark to see

Bob Dylan wrote “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” – the last of this year’s 2 OR 3 LINES “GOLDEN DECADE” HIT SINGLES HALL OF FAME inductees – for Sam Peckinpah’s 1973 Western movie, Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid.

Dylan mumbled his way through his role in the movie – I swear I can’t understand a word his character said.

Bob Dylan in Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid

He did better as the composer of the movie’s soundtrack.  “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” is used to great effect in a scene depicting a shootout between members of Billy the Kid’s gang and Garrett and his allies – one of whom is an old sheriff who is mortally wounded during the gunfight.

The old sheriff was played by Slim Pickens, a veteran actor who is mostly remembered for his comic roles.  After his character was wounded, he walks slowly to a small pond, sits down on a rock, and gazes off into the distance – clearly aware that he is near death.  His wife, who had accompanied him to the shootout (where she dispatched one of the outlaws with two irrefutable blasts from her double-barreled shotgun), watches him from a distance.  Neither one speaks.

Pickens’s performance as the dying sheriff is understated but utterly convincing.  Click here to see for yourself.  

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The two brief verses of “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” would have been appropriate words for the sheriff to have said to his wife if he had spoken to her – which he didn’t:

Mama, take this badge off of me

I can’t use it anymore

It’s getting dark, too dark to see

I feel I’m knockin’ upon heaven’s door

Mama, put my guns in the ground

I can’t shoot them anymore

That long black cloud is coming down

I feel I’m knockin’ on heaven’s door

Dylan’s biographer called the song “an exercise in splendid simplicity,” and he was right.  Like Slim Pickens’s depiction of the dying sheriff, “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” is proof that less is often more.

(Why did the album title used an ampersand
when the movie title didn’t?) 

Unfortunately, Guns ’N’ Roses didn’t realize that when they covered “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” in 1990.  I give them credit for recognizing what a great song it was, but their version is full of Sturm und Drang that signifieth nothing.  (I understand that there’s no point in covering a song if you’re just going to replicate the original.  But if Guns ’N’ Roses thought their cover of “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” was what the song all about, they just plain didn’t get it.)

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Click here to listen to Bob Dylan’s “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.”

Click here to buy that recording from Amazon.

Click here to learn more about “Heaven’s Door” whiskey – which is co-owned by Bob Dylan.

Bob Dylan – "Maggie's Farm" (1965)

She’s 68

But she says she’s 54

The road to online dating success is fraught with potholes and speed bumps — which Brits call “sleeping policemen,” by the way.  That’s especially true for older singles.

Let’s be honest –  most of you are pretty much p**ping the bed when it comes to finding quality dates on your own.  2 or 3 lines wants to help you find the man or woman of your dreams – to that end, we’re planning a series of posts designed to give you a leg up when it comes to online dating.

2 or 3 lines recently interviewed “Jane” – une femme d’un certain âge (and then some) – about her dating experiences. We think you’ll find what she had to say to say to be very interesting.

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2 or 3 lines:  Jane, thank you for agreeing to be interviewed for 2 or 3 lines.

Jane:  My pleasure.  

2 or 3 lines:  I understand you’ve been pretty successful when it comes to attracting dates.  What advice do you have for our female readers?

Jane: Well, of course you’ve got to lie about your age if you’re a woman.  I’m guessing that most of your female readers who are on an online dating website are probably doing that already.

2 or 3 lines: Really?  You think most women lie about their age in their online dating profile?

Jane: Absolutely.  We really have no choice if we want to date men who are near our age.  That’s because men have this thing about dating younger women.  It doesn’t matter if a guy is short, bald, and has a big belly – he still thinks he’s entitled to date younger women.

2 or 3lines:  It’s interesting you say that because I have a single friend who is over 70 but says he is only attracted to women who are 45 or younger.  He’s a smart, good-looking guy with plenty of money, but he says he has a lot of trouble finding women who are interested in him. 

Jane:  OF COURSE he does!  And I have some news for you – the younger women he does attract don’t care that he’s smart and good-looking.  If there are interested in him, it’s because he has plenty of money.  

2 or 3 lines:  Can I ask you the difference between your real age and the age that’s on your dating profile?

Jane: I’m six years older than what I claim to be.  Almost seven, actually – I’ve got a birthday coming up.

2 or 3 lines:  Has a man ever figured out you were lying about your age?

Jane:  No, because I always tell them my actual age on our second date.

2 or 3 lines:  Really?  Why is that?

Jane:  Think about it.  You only have a second date if the first date went reasonably well – so it’s usually safe to reveal your actual age on the second date.  But if you wait much longer, the guy’s going to feel like he’s been suckered – so you’ve got to come clean relatively quickly.  

2 or 3 lines:  That does make sense, I guess.  

Jane:  By the way, I didn’t come up with that approach myself – it was suggested to me by some male colleagues.

2 or 3 lines:  So men suggested that strategy?

Jane:  Yes.  It’s not surprising that they advised me to lie – after all, men don’t shy away from lying if that’s what it takes to get a woman.  But men also know that eventually the truth is going to come out when they lie – so the smart ones will have a plan for dealing with that when it happens.  They come up with a strategy for minimizing the consequences of the lie.

2 or 3 lines:  I think you’re probably right. Wow.

Jane:  By the way, men lie about their ages, too. Also their height.  How tall are you, by the way?

2 or 3 lines:  I’m almost six-two.

Jane:  That’s excellent.  I love tall men.

2 or 3 lines: Do you think that’s true of women generally?

Jane:  Absolutely – I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t want a man who’s taller than she is.  

2 or 3 lines:  Jane, this conversation has been quite enlightening.  Thanks for your time.

Jane:  You’re very welcome, mister almost-six-two.  Now that we’re finished with the interview, how about we go get a drink?

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“Maggie’s Farm” was released in 1965 on Bob Dylan’s fifth studio album, Bringing It All Back Home.

“Jane” isn’t the only woman I’ve met online who hasn’t been entirely honest about her age, but I haven’t met any woman other than Maggie who has been ballsy enough to claim she’s 54 when she’s really 68.

Click here to listen to “Maggie’s Farm.”

Click here to buy the record from Amazon.

Bob Dylan – "Subterranean Homesick Blues" (1965)

Twenty years of schooling

And they put you on the day shift

[Strictly speaking, this record is not eligible for the 2 OR 3 LINES "GOLDEN DECADE" ALBUM TRACKS HALL OF FAME.  Membership in that hall of fame is limited to records that were not hit singles.  “Subterranean Homesick Blues” was technically a top-40 record because it was listed at #39 on the Billboard “Hot 100” for exactly one week.  That’s hardly what anyone would consider to be a hit single, of course – and since it clearly doesn’t belong in the 2 OR 3 LINES “GOLDEN DECADE” HIT SINGLES HALL OF FAME, I’m including it in the album tracks hall of fame instead.  It’s just too good a song to disqualify on the basis of a technicality.  What follows is an edited version of my original October 5, 2021, post about “Subterranean Homesick Blues,” which includes Bob Dylan’s most often quoted lines” “You don’t need a weatherman/To know which way the wind blows.”]

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“Like a Rolling Stone” is the best record Bob Dylan ever recorded – it’s arguably the best record made in the sixties – but “Subterranean Homesick Blues” has the best lyrics Dylan ever wrote.  

That’s saying something, because Dylan won the Nobel Prize for Literature for his song lyrics.  That was a ridiculous decision, of course – song lyrics need to be sung along with their accompanying music, not put on a printed page and read like poetry – but there’s no doubt Dylan wrote some amazing lyrics.

Of course, Dylan’s lyrics would have been even better if he had run them by me before finalizing them – they could have used a bit of editing.

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To wit: consider these lines from “Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again,” which are spoken to the singer of the song by a shady young woman named “Ruthie”:

Your debutante knows what you need

But I know what you want

Dylan is clearly saying that Ruthie is offering the singer something more satisfying than his prissy little debutante girlfriend if offering.

(Not the same Ruthie.)

But instead of saying that the debutante know what he needs while Ruthie knows what he wants, shouldn’t it be the other way around?  

I’m guessing that the debutante may know what the singer wants – or at least what he thinks he wants, and has told her he wants – but she can’t provide what he really needs deep down inside.  After all, he may not know himself what he really needs.

Ruthie can fulfill his needs because she has a much deeper understanding of him than he has of himself – and a much deeper understanding of him than the debutante.

So shouldn’t the line read as follows?

Your debutante knows what you want

But I know what you need

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Today’s featured song contains another example of a Dylan lyric gone awry.

Think about the lines quoted at the beginning of this post:

Twenty years of schooling

And they put you on the day shift 

Dylan is making the point that the world is F.U.B.A.R. – after all, it makes no sense for someone to be sent to school for twenty years and then given a factory job.

But Dylan should have used night shift in those lyrics – not day shift.  

The day shift is almost always preferable to the night shift.  Working the night shift will play havoc with your body clock, making it difficult for to sleep well.  And it will likely also play havoc with your relationships because most people work during the day, not at night.

It’s bad enough to go to school for twenty years and end up working the day shift at a factory, but it adds insult to injury to end up working the night shift – that’s a real kick in the pants, especially for someone with that much edumacation.

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I think Bob Dylan’s a little overrated – he did write a lot of bad songs, after all – but the genius of “Subterranean Homesick Blues” can’t be denied.  The lyrics are insane in the membrane, and I love the irregularity of the lines – the record’s herky-jerky line structure is something that differentiates it from every other record of that era.

Click here to listen to “Subterranean Homesick Blues,” which was released in 1965 on Bringing It All Back Home, Dylan’s fifth studio album.

Click below to buy the record from Amazon:

Tommy James and the Shondells – "Ball of Fire" (1969)

 

And the ball of fire in the sky

Keeps watching over you and I

Note to Tommy James: it should be “over you and ME,” not “over you and I.”

You don’t believe me?  “I” is the first-person singular subject pronoun.  “Me” is the first-person singular object pronoun.  Here, “I” is being used as the object of the preposition “over,” so it should be “me.”

You still don’t believe me?  Leave out the “you” for a moment.  Would you say “keeps watching over ME” or “keeps watching over I”?

I rest my case.

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Speaking of grammar, I recently came across a reference to Joan Didion’s 1970 novel, Play It as It Lays – which was later made into a movie with the same title.

It never hit me before that the name of the book and the movie should be Play It as It Lies.  

“Play it as it lies” is also a golf expression – the golfers got it right, while the fancy-pants Ms. Didion got it wrong.

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So did Bob Dylan – “Lay, Lady, Lay” should be “Lie, Lady, Lie.”  (And “Lay across my big brass bed” should be “Lie across my big brass bed.”)  

Grammatical niceties aside, “Lay, Lady, Lay” is a better choice, of course, because “Lie, Lady, Lie” could be understand as meaning that the singer wanted the lady to tell untruths.

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“Ball of Fire” is the opening track on the 1969 album, The Best of Tommy James and the Shondells.

But the song had never been released previously – so it really shouldn’t have been on a “Best Of” album, right?

However, it subsequently became a top twenty hit – which makes it sort of an ex post facto “Best Of” song.

Click here to listen to “Ball of Fire.”

Click on the link below to buy “Ball of Fire” from Amazon: