Joe Tex – "Show Me" (1967)

Show me a man

That’s got a good woman

I’ll show you a man 

That goes to work hummin’

It’s become an annual tradition for 2 or 3 lines staffers to surprise me by getting up at the crack of dawn on a random summer Saturday to chalk messages of encouragement on my favorite bike trail.

As usual, they started off this year with a couple of fairly generic exhortations:

My staff is nothing if not creative.  This year, they drew a hopscotch diagram near a spot where I customarily take a break:

They also came up with this “Pop the Bubbles” challenge.  (The object here is go as fast as possible while steering my bike so that my front wheel “pops” each bubble.)

There were a few somewhat hippy-dippy messages, including this one:

Finally, there was this somewhat curious message:

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I wasn’t sure what that last one meant at first, but I think I’ve figured it out.  I’ve long suspected that the leader of the crew responsible for these chalked missives is a comely young female 2 or 3 lines executive who seems to have a bit of a crush on yours truly.  (You can hardly blame her, can you?). 

You may have read that Elon Musk had twins with Shivon Zilis, the director of operations at one of his companies.  The twins were conceived (allegedly) via in vitro fertilization – perhaps to avoid a violation the company’s employee code of conduct, which says supervisors and their subordinates can’t be in a relationship of a romantic or intimate nature.  (A Reuters reporter interviewed five corporate governance experts about the situation, and none of them believed that Musk and Zilis had necessarily violated the employee code of conduct by having children via IVF.)

The 2 or 3 lines employee responsible for the “We love strollers” message apparently sees me as something of an Elon Musk, and wants to be my Shivon Zilis.  I’m not saying “no” to her, and I’m not saying “yes” – but I am open to having a discussion with her.

Fortunately, 2 or 3 lines has no code of conduct prohibiting employees from being romantically involved with me.  So we won’t need to hide behind some IVF subterfuge.

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Elon Musk has been concerned about declining birth rates since at least 2017, when he tweeted, “The world's population is accelerating towards collapse, but few seem to notice or care.”

“The biggest issue in 20 years will be population collapse,” Musk said two years later. “Not explosion. Collapse.”

Elon Musk has had 12 children by three different women.  So he not only talks the talk when it comes to reversing the trend of declining birth rates, he walks the walk . . . or whatever.

I have four children and nine grandchildren (so far), so I have a long way to go to catch up to Musk.  But I’m not counting myself out of the race just yet.  (As my old Latin teacher used to say, “Dum spiro spero”!)

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Joe Tex was born Joseph Arrington, Jr., in a small town in Texas in 1935.  He signed a record deal in 1955 with what must have been the world’s most patient record company but none of his first 28 singles cracked the Billboard “Hot 100.”

Despite the failure of his records to sell, Tex quickly made a name as a stage performer – he opened for Jackie Wilson, Little Richard, and James Brown, among other artists.

Tex later accused Brown of stealing some of his flamboyant stage moves, and the two became bitter rivals.  After Tex divorced Bea Ford in 1959, Brown recruited her to his band.  The “Godfather of Soul” quickly tired of Ms. Ford’s charms, and wrote a letter to Tex that said he was welcome to have her back if he wanted her.  Instead, Tex recorded what may have the first diss record ever, “You Keep Her.”

Joe Tex busts a move

In 1963, Brown got all worked up when he witnessed Tex parodying Brown’s stage show at a Macon, Georgia concert that was headlined by Otis Redding.  Brown left the club and returned with two shotguns.

According to Tex’s biographer, Jason Martinko, here’s what happened next:

Suddenly, someone fired at Brown and then he fired back, spraying buckshot throughout the bar, missing his target, but allegedly injuring seven people.  Pianist Johnny Jenkins and Otis Redding hid behind the piano, while drummer Charles Davis continues playing through the commotion, initially unaware of the gunshots.  Joe Tex escaped out a back door and was running through trees and bushes.  James Brown’s tour bus quickly pulled up and Brown jumped in, driving away in a hurry.  A member of Brown's entourage briefly stayed behind, handing out hundred-dollar bills to the injured, asking that they keep quiet about the incident.

Tex converted to Islam in 1966, changing his name to Yusuf Hazziez.  He died of a heart attack when he was only 47.

“I Gotcha” – which was his biggest hit single – was my favorite Joe Tex record, but “Show Me” is pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.

Click here to listen to “Show Me.”

Click here to buy that record from Amazon.