Mountain – "Mississippi Queen" (1970)

You know she was a dancer

She moved better on wine

(Most women do.)

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When 500p rolls around, this man’s fancy turns to chips and salsa.

Frito-Lay dominates the tortilla chips market.  For many years, I bought their Tostitos brand chips.  But recently I discovered Frito-Lay’s Santitas chips.

The Official Chips of 2 Or 3 Lines

I can’t tell the difference between the two brands.  I suspect they’re identical except for the name on the bag – and the price.  

An 11-ounce bag of Santitas is only $2.69.  That’s barely half the price per ounce of a bag of Tostitos.

You’ll have to look a little harder to find Santitas on your grocer’s shelves – most stores give only a tiny amount of shelf space to Santitas.

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The only problem with Santitas – which is true of other brands as well – is that the bottom third of the bag tends to consist of broken chip fragments that are really too small to dip with successfully.

Here’s a tip for all y’all that will save you beaucoup bucks on tortilla chips.  Once you’re down to having only broken chips in the bag, drop a handful into a cereal bowl and pour your salsa on top of them.  Then eat them with a spoon:

I think that’s a pretty brilliant solution.  (You’re welcome!)

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Let me give you some advice when it comes to grocery-store salsa.  

Forget the very popular Tostitos and On the Border brands, and go with Pace.  Not the chunky stuff – stick with Pace picante sauce instead.  Mild, medium, or hot – that’s up to you.  (I think medium is plenty spicy.)  

There are probably some fancy niche brands that are better, but why spend a lot of dough gilding the lily?  Pace picante is just fine.

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Is “Mississippi Queen” the best record that has never been featured in a 2 or 3 lines post?

That’s a good question.  I’m not sure that it is, but I am sure that Leslie West’s playing is the best guitar playing on a record that’s never been featured on 2 or 3 lines.

It’s hard to believe that yours truly has managed to write almost 2000 posts without featuring “Mississippi Queen” – which has been a favorite of mine for years.

I think “Mississippi Queen” is the ne plus ultra of guitar-dominated classic-rock records.  Hendrix and Cream and Led Zeppelin produced a lot of great tracks, but I’m not sure any of them is better than “Mississippi Queen” – which has been described as “an enduring anthem [with a] guitar riff that sounds like a carnivore choking on dinner.”  (What he said!)

The record is also notable for drummer Corky Laing’s relentless cowbelling.  Spin magazine called it “the cowbell jam to end all cowbell jams,” and said that “Mountain are to the cowbell what Dostoevsky is to the Russian novel.”

Felix Pappalardi – who played bass for Mountain and also produced “Mississippi Queen” – was shot and killed by his wife in 1983 in their Manhattan apartment.  She basically got away with murder, serving only 18 months in prison after being convicted of negligent homicide.

Click here to listen to “Mississippi Queen.”

Click here to buy the song from Amazon.