Megan Thee Stallion – "Savage" (2020)

 

I'm that b*tch

Been that b*tch

Still that b*tch

Will forever be that b*tch

In 2004, Rolling Stone magazine released a list entitled “The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time,” which was based on the votes of selected musicians, critics, and other industry members. 

Here are the top ten records from the 2004 list:

1.  Bob Dylan – “Like a Rolling Stone”

2.  Rolling Stones – “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”

3.  John Lennon – “Imagine”

4.  Marvin Gaye – “What’s Going On”

5.  Aretha Franklin – “Respect” 

6.  Beach Boys – “Good Vibrations”

7.  Chuck Berry – “Johnny B. Goode”

8.  Beatles – “Hey Jude”

9.  Nirvana – “Smells Like Teen Spirit”

10.  Ray Charles – “What’d I Say”

As I said in the previous 2 or 3 lines, I think that’s a pretty good list.  While my personal top ten would be different, I could make a case for most of Rolling Stone’s picks.

*     *     *     *     *

Rolling Stone updated its 2004 list in 2010 by adding a couple of dozen records from the oughts.  But it didn’t touch its original top ten – in fact, it didn’t touch its original top 25.

A few weeks ago, the magazine announced a new “500 Greatest” list.  Its 2021 list didn’t just incorporate some deserving recent records – it essentially tore up the original list and created a new one from scratch.

Here is Rolling Stone’s new top ten:

1.  Aretha Franklin – “Respect”

2.  Public Enemy – “Fight the Power”

3.  Sam Cooke – “A Change Is Gonna Come”

4.  Bob Dylan – “Like a Rolling Stone”

5.  Nirvana – “Smells Like Teen Spirit”

6.  Marvin Gaye – “What’s Going On”

7.  Beatles – “Strawberry Fields Forever”

8.  Missy Elliott – “Get Yer Freak On”

9.  Fleetwood Mac – “Dreams”

10. Outkast – “Hey Ya!”

Excuse my French, but what the f*ck?

*     *     *     *     *

Before I start bellyaching about that list, there are a few positives that I should acknowledge.

First, the three songs from the 2004 top ten that are retained in the new top ten – “Respect,” “Like a Rolling Stone,” and “What’s Going On” – are all great songs by great artists.  They deserved to be in the original top ten, and I’m happy that they are still in the revised top ten.

Second, I think there has to be at least one hiphop record in the top ten – the 2004 list’s failure to include one needed to be addressed in the revised rankings.  I would have chosen N.W.A.’s “Straight Outta Compton” to remedy that failing, but “Fight the Power” is almost as good a choice.  (I’m shocked it was ranked #322 in the original “500 Greatest” list – Rolling Stone really dropped the ball there.)

Finally, Rolling Stone moved John Lennon’s “Imagine” down from #3 to #19.  That’s sixteen steps in the right direction, although I would have taken several hundred (or thousand) more steps in that direction.

So those are the things I like about the 2021 top ten.  Unfortunately, there are some things I don’t like about the new list. 

*     *     *     *     *

For example, any top ten that leaves out the Rolling Stones and the Beach Boys is highly suspect.  

To be fair, both groups have highly ranked records in the new “500 Greatest” list – “God Only Knows” was given the #11 spot, while “Gimme Shelter” is close behind at #13 – but they deserve to be ranked even higher.  That’s especially true when you consider who leapfrogged them into the current top ten.

(I find it interesting that “Gimme Shelter” is now ahead of “Satisfaction” in the rankings, and that “God Only Knows” is ahead of “Good Vibrations.”  If I had to pick the two greatest Stones records and the two greatest Beach Boys songs, those are the ones I would choose – but I would have a hard time picking a #1 and a #2 from each pair.)

Also, I wouldn’t have moved “Smells Like Teen Spirit” from #9 to #5.  (I thought #9 was a bit too high in the first place.)

And while I think “Strawberry Fields Forever” is a worthier song than “Hey Jude,” neither one is in the same league as “A Day in the Life.”  That’s the most fully realized recording the Beatles ever did – plus it’s one part Lennon, one part McCartney, and one part George Martin, so it sums up the Beatles perfectly.  (Apologies to George Harrison, a very underrated songwriter who was never given a fair chance by John and Paul.)

*     *     *     *     *

It bothers me that the new top ten replaces the Stones, the Beach Boys, Chuck Berry, and Ray Charles with Sam Cooke, Missy Elliott, Fleetwood Mac, and Outkast.

It’s fine if you want to swap Berry or Charles for Cooke – although I much prefer “Johnny B. Goode” and “What’d I Say” to “A Change Is Gonna Come.”

Outkast was very talented, with a very original style – “Hey Ya” is catchy as all get-out and sounds like no other record I’ve ever heard, although I don’t think it’s quite top ten material.

But Missy Elliott’s “Get Yer Freak On” and Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” instead of “Satisfaction” and “Good Vibrations”?  Horribile dictu!

“Get Yer Freak On” is a pretty good rap record, but I can think of about a hundred better ones without breaking a sweat.  

And the soporific Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” may be the worst song on the Rumours album – it’s incomprehensible to me how anyone could have voted it as one of the ten best pop songs of all time.

I noted above that the new #2 record, “Fight the Power,” was only #322 on the original 2004 list.

But “Dreams” was left off the 2004 altogether.  In other words, a song that the original Rolling Stone voters didn’t think belonged in the top 500 is now ranked among the top ten songs of all time.   That does not compute.

By the way, “Fight the Power” and “Dreams” were recorded in 1989 and 1987 respectively, so they were very familiar to the 2004 voters.  Nothing about those songs has changed since 2004 – what has changed are the voters.

*     *     *     *     *

“We focused on having a very diverse votership, so the list ended up much more inclusive, fresher,” Rolling Stone music editor Christian Hoard told NBC News after the new list was announced.  

(In other words, Rolling Stone was more interested in political correctness than the quality of the records on its list.)

“It's reflective of what Rolling Stone is these days, it's not [just] classic rock.,” Hoard went on to say.  “It's a broad spectrum of music.”

Yet more than half of the songs on the list were recorded in the sixties and seventies.  And the artists with the most records on the list are the Beatles, Bob Dylan, David Bowie, and the Rolling Stones – that’s a whole bunch of old white guys.

*     *     *     *     *

Rolling Stone characterized its more diverse “votership” as including “Angelique Kidjo to Zedd, Sam Smith to Megan Thee Stallion, M. Ward to Bill Ward.”  

I can’t view the new voter list without paying to subscribe to Rolling Stone.  (WHEN DONKEYS FLY!)  But if those names are representative of all the new voters, no wonder the new list sucks.

Megan Thee Stallion

My favorite from that group of voters is probably Megan Thee Stallion.  She is essentially just a Nicki Minaj copycat, but better a Nicki Minaj imitator than a Sam Smith original.  (Have you heard Sam Smith’s music?  Horribile dictu!)

Speaking of Megan Thee Stallion, the new “500 Greatest” list ranks her 2020 release, “Savage” – which is today’s featured record – above the Animals’ immortal  “House Of The Rising Sun.” 

Give me a f*cking break.

*     *     *     *     *

Click here to watch the official animated video for “Savage.”

Click on the link below to buy the song from Amazon: