Holly and the Italians – "Tell That Girl to Shut Up" (1979)

You better tell that girl to shut up

You better tell that girl I’m gonna beat her up

I’m not sure why I still subscribe to the Washington Post.

There’s no sports section to speak of any more (because there’s no sports).  

It’s not for the comic strips.  The Post has no fewer than 83, but I only read one of them (Dilbert).

And there’s nothing of real value in the front section – just a lot of opinion and Monday-morning quarterbacking. 

That leaves the advice columns. 

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Amy Dickinson succeeded Ann Landers as the Chicago Tribune’s advice columnist.  Today her “Ask Amy” column is carried by 150 newspapers, including the Post.

Here’s a recent inquiry from one of her readers:

Dear Amy: 

I live within one of the most extremist liberal bastions in the country.  Men here are minimized, ordered to the rear and, even more often, told precisely what we should think and do.

I am an active 63-year-old guy and have worked hard to get where I am.  I wish to enjoy my life to the fullest by riding motorcycles up and down the coast and sea kayaking in open water.

Amy Dickinson of "Ask Amy" fame

Fortunately, I often am joined by much younger “Barbie doll” types.  I have invited many women my age to join me, but I am hatefully told that I am an old fool to be seen with these much younger women.

Why do I have to live my life at the speed of smell just to satisfy these old, progressive, blue-haired biddies marching toward the end of their lives by becoming bingo captains at their church?

Is acting young and refusing to slow down to please the liberal slug-masters of my community wrong?

Living My Life

(“Speed of smell”?  I have never heard that term before – have you?  I assume he’s saying that the speed of smell is quite slow compared to the speed of sound or the speed of light, and that he has no desire to live his life at such a slow speed.)

Here’s Amy’s reply:

Dear Living My Life: 

As long as you stereotype people the way you do, you’re going to get stereotyped, too.

You are way too invested in and angry about other people’s opinions about you.  In fact, due to the volume and pitch of your protest, I can only assume that on some level you fear you wouldn’t be able to keep up with the social and intellectual challenges of being with a woman in your age group.

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Speaking of stereotyping, Amy clearly believes that younger women are the intellectual inferiors of older women.  So she’s just as guilty of stereotypical thinking as “Living My Life” is.

This is a clear case of the pot calling the kettle black.  Which, by the way, is one of my three favorite old-timey expressions.  (The other two are “Six of one, half a dozen of the other” and “It’s every man for himself, and the devil take the hindmost.”)

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If “Living My Life” had written to me instead of to Amy, I might have asked him who was paying the bills on these motorcycle adventures, etc.  My guess is that these “Barbie doll” types who are hanging out with his sorry old ass would head for the hills if he ever suggested that they split the dinner tab.  Of course, the same would likely be true if he was dating women closer to his own age.

In a recent survey conducted by Money magazine, a whopping 72% of women said they think men should pay for the first date.  (Most of the 28% who answered otherwise aren’t really telling the truth – they may believe in going Dutch in theory, but I guarantee you that most of them would be offended if the man didn’t at least offer to pay the whole bill.)  

Even after the first date, men tend to pick up the majority of expenses because they feel guilty taking money from women. 

Here’s what one woman had to say about this issue:

It’s not fair that straight men feel obligated to pay for their female dates, but it’s ultimately worse for the women.  Social scientists label chivalrous behavior like treating women to dinner, “benevolent sexism.”  Benevolent sexism is the notion that women should be adored and cherished, along with the paternalistic notion that they need men’s protection.  It reinforces stereotypes that women are both fabulous and fragile, and that they need men’s help. 

So you’ve got two choices, fellas.  You can go Dutch and be viewed as a cheapskate.  Or you can pick up the tab and be perceived as a sexist – albeit a benevolent one.

You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t – it’s six of one, half a dozen of the other.

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Holly Beth Vincent formed Holly and the Italians in Los Angeles in 1978.  The next year, the group moved to London so Vincent could live with her boyfriend, Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits.

“Tell That Girl to Shut Up” was released in December 1979, when Holly and the Italians were still in London.  The band moved back to the U.S. to record their first and only album, The Right to Be Italian, which was released in early 1981.

I heard “Tell That Girl to Shut Up” on Steven Lorber’s “Mystic Eyes” radio show in the summer of 1980.  I bought the album shortly after it was released, and sold it to Steven last year after schlepping it around for 40 years.

Click here to listen to “Tell That Girl to Shut Up.”

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