Tim McGraw – "Live Like You Were Dying" (2004)

And I loved deeper

And I spoke sweeter

And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying

In 1966, “Tug” McGraw – who was then pitching for the New York Mets’ minor-league team in Jacksonville, Florida – met Betty D’Agostino, a high-school girl whose family lived in the same apartment building he did.

According to McGraw, the two only had sex once.  But once is more than enough when it comes to getting pregnant – which is what happened to Betty.

Tim McGraw with his mother

Betty’s parents immediately shipped her off to a small town in Louisiana to live with relatives, and that’s where she gave birth to McGraw’s son.

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Betty later married a man named Horace Smith, who gave his name to her young son, Samuel Timothy Smith.  But when Tim Smith was 11, he discovered his birth certificate while looking for hidden Christmas presents in his mother’s closet.

Tim’s mother – who had divorced Tim’s stepfather – came clean about McGraw being his biological father, and made arrangements for the two to meet at a game at the Houston Astrodome.  (By that time, Tug was a star relief pitcher for the Philadelphia Phillies.)  

The meeting was more than a little awkward.  Tug was married and had small children when he met Tim, and he didn’t seem to want to have anything to do with young Tim.  Tim saw his father one other time when he was 11, but had no further contact with Tug until years later.  

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While Tug McGraw was a well-paid professional athlete, Tim’s mother was just getting by financially.

From a 2013 HuffPost Live interview of Tim McGraw:

[Tim] McGraw recalled the strange sensation of seeing his dad play baseball on television while he and his family lived in “poor circumstances” in Louisiana.

“I remember watching the World Series games and being 13 years old and sort of lucky that we could pay the light bill to have the TV on to watch the [1980] World Series,” he said. “It was a little strange dichotomy there.”

Tug McGraw after getting the last out in
the Phillies' 1980 World Series victory

A few years later, Tim suggested to his mother that she contact the star pitcher and ask him to help pay for Tim’s college expenses.  According to Tim, 

[W]e went through a whole rigamarole with lawyers and stuff, [him] trying to say that he wasn't my dad.  So they came up with this contract that they'd pay for college if I would never call again or bother him again or say anything about it.

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It would have been perfectly understandable if Tim’s rejection by his father had embittered him, but instead he “gave forgiveness” (in the words of today’s featured song) to Tug.

It took time, but the two eventually became close, and Tim stayed by Tug’s side after he was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.

From journalist/blogger Carlos Espinosa’s account of their relationship:

Despite being rejected by his father for seventeen years of his life, Tim apparently never held a grudge and was the rock that kept Tug’s life from totally unraveling after his diagnosis.

In fact, it was Tim that took over his father’s affairs after he got sick. Tim got a brain cancer specialist at Duke University to see and treat his father, he paid for the experimental and costly treatment, Tug’s home, travel expenses for family and even rented a Winnebago for Tug, his brother and close friends to travel to visit family and friends across the country.

During his final days, it was Tim who slept by his father’s side holding his hand.

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Today’s featured song is about a man who has learned that he has a life-threatening illness. 

He responded to the bad news by checking a lot of the boxes on his bucket list – he went skydiving, mountain climbing, and even rode a rodeo bull.  

He also tried to become a better man – he “loved deeper,” he “spoke sweeter,” and he “gave forgiveness  [he’d] been denying.”

I find myself becoming more and more susceptible to sentimental songs as I get older, but I have to say that “Live Like You Were Dying” didn’t really move me.

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But country music fans responded enthusiastically to the song.  “Live Like You Were Dying” spent seven weeks atop the Billboard “Hot Country Songs” chart in 2004.  It was the biggest-selling country song of that year, was named “Single of the Year’ and “Song of the Year” by the Country Music Association, and won the Grammy for “Best Country Song.”

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McGraw recorded “Like Live You Were Dying” just months after Tug McGraw died from brain cancer at age 59.  

Songwriters Tim Nichols and Craig Wiseman didn’t have Tug McGraw in mind when they wrote the song, but its message obviously had great personal significance for Tim, who “gave forgiveness” to his father despite Tug’s initial denial and rejection of him.

Click here to watch the official music video for “Like Live You Were Dying.”

And click on the link below to buy the song from Amazon: