Justin Timberlake (feat. Jay-Z) – "Suit & Tie" (2013)

And as long as I've got my suit and tie

I'ma leave it all on the floor tonight

Shinesty is an online clothing retailer that claims to be “the #1 online destination for attention-grabbing apparel.”  

The company, which freely acknowledges that it is “not J. Crew” (and how), guarantees to sell only  “clothing your mom would hate.” 

I promise that your wife will hate it, too.  (Most girlfriends, too.)

I recently received a copy of Shinesty’s Christmas catalog in the mail.  (I wonder what this post would have been about if I hadn’t gotten that catalog.  Do you wonder about that, too?) 

Here are photos of some of the suits and matching ties that you can find in the current Shinesty holiday collection for men:

For our Jewish friends, here’s the Shinesty “Rock Star of David” suit:

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Shinesty doesn’t just sell tacky Christmas suits and ties.

It also offers “Pit Vipers” sunglasses.  (Slogan: “They want to sit on your face.”)

And then there’s the “Jeado” swim brief – a/k/a the “Daytona Dong Sarong,” a/k/a the “Ding-a-ling Sling,” a/k/a the “Miami Meat Tent,” a/k/a the “Portuguese Pud Purse.”  (Shinesty’s headquarters are located in Colorado, where recreational marijuana use is 100% legal.  That probably explains “Portuguese Pud Purse” and most of the rest of the copy in Shinesty’s catalog.)

The company also sells a lightweight, breathable, moisture-wicking, bulge-enhancing boxer brief, which it calls the “Ball Hammock.”
  

The red-white-and-blue, bald eagle-themed “Ball Hammock” is perfect for us patriotic types:

But you Democrats may prefer your undies to feature a camel, horse, snow leopard, snake, zebra, lion, or golden retriever:

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Here’s how MTV described its reality show about Shinesty, which aired this summer:

Mix 10 mediocrely-good-looking twenty-somethings with a major TV network, add some melodrama, and boom  you get reality TV.  This six-episode “docu-comedy” is not appropriate for all ages and features casual nudity, kidnappings, bikini waxes, irreverent clothing, countless weiner shaped food jokes, and a variety of other very strange incidents that actually do happen in the Shinesty office every week.

Here’s the trailer for the show:

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Right now, Shinesty’s stuff is selling like gangbusters.  But I don’t see the company being successful in the long run.  

I have to think that its typical customer is someone who orders after getting drunk at a Christmas party, and who will have a terrible case of buyer’s remorse when the clothing he orders arrives and he tries it on.  

The company’s investors include the Winklevoss twins (who co-founded Facebook), and they’re a lot smarter than I am, but I just don’t see guys ordering a Christmas suit from Shinesty more than once.  

Of course, most of the guys who will get drunk at a Christmas party this year will get drunk at a Christmas party next year, and the year after that, and the year after that.  So maybe Shinesty will do better than I think.

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“Suit & Tie” was the lead single from Justin Timberlake’s 2013 album, The 20/20 Experience.  It made it all the way to #3 on the Billboard “Hot 100.”

The music video for “Suit & Tie” was directed by David Fincher, the director of The Social Network, which starred Timberlake as Sean Parker, the man who co-founded Napster and who was the first president of Facebook.

Here’s “Suit & Tie,” which features Jay-Z:

Click below to buy the song from Amazon: