Johnny Western -- "The Ballad of Paladin" (1958)

His fast gun for hire heeds the calling wind
A soldier of fortune is the man called Paladin

Have Gun -- Will Travel was a half-hour Western that aired on CBS from 1957 through 1963.  I was in grade school during the run of Have Gun -- Will Travel, and I was a huge fan of Paladin, the one-named hero of the show portrayed by Richard Boone.

The paladins were the foremost warriors of Charlemagne's court -- the French equivalents of the Knights of the Round Table.

In epic poems such as The Song of Roland, the oldest surviving major work of French literature, they are Christian heroes who battle the infidel Muslims.

Like the medieval knights errant, Paladin is a paragon of chivalry.  He may work as a hired gun, but he doesn't work for just anyone.  Rather, he is happiest when retained to help an underdog who is a victim of injustice.

There were 225 episodes of Have Gun -- Will Travel, so we know almost everything about Paladin except his first name.

For example, we know that Paladin was a West Point graduate who fought in the Union Army in the Civil War.  It also appears that he was trained as a lawyer.

Paladin was very well read, and was fond of quoting Plato, Aristotle, St. Paul, Julius Caesar, Shakespeare, Cervantes, Milton, Byron, and Oscar Wilde.  He was an accomplished pianist, and enjoyed the opera and the theatre.  He was a gourmet and a wine authority, and savored fine cigars.  Not surprisingly, he was a master of chess and a feared opponent at the poker table.

Richard Boone as Paladin

When he was at home in the posh Hotel Carlton in San Francisco, Paladin usually wore either a frock-coated suit or a stylish smoking jacket.  When he was working, Paladin dressed in black from head to toe -- boots, trousers, shirt, and Stetson.  

While Paladin preferred to handle his clients' problems without resorting to violence, he excelled at fistfights and was a skilled swordsman.  He was also, of course, an expert with firearms.

But Paladin didn't prevail over his opponents due to superior strength or marksmanship -- he prevailed as the result of his superior knowledge of the art of war, which he gained from his extensive reading and his training and experience as a cavalry officer.

Paladin at work

Paladin's primary weapon was a custom-made .45-caliber Colt revolver, which he carried in a holster decorated with a silver chess knight.  Strapped to his saddle was a lever-action Marlin rifle with a stock decorated with additional silver chess knights, but he rarely used it.  He did resort regularly to the derringer that was concealed in his belt.

Paladin's famous business card -- it read "HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL" is large type, with "Wire Paladin, San Francisco" in smaller type below -- was also decorated with the figure of a chess knight.  In one episode, our hero drew a parallel between his modus operandi and the chess knight's moves: "It's an attack piece, the most versatile piece on the board.  It can move eight different ways [and] over barriers."

There was no one like Paladin on television back then, and there certainly isn't anyone like him on television now.  I suppose the character who is most analogous to him is James Bond, the elegant, cultured, and deadly spy created by Ian Fleming.

Paladin and Bond shared one particular interest: they both appreciated the fairer sex.  

Here's one episode of Have Gun -- Will Travel.  Note especially the show open, where Paladin draws his gun and points it at the camera while delivering one line from that episode.

Take a close look at the closing credits of that episode of Have Gun -- Will Travel while you listen to Johnny Western singing "The Ballad of Paladin."

The episode was produced by Sam Rolfe, who co-created the series.  Rolfe was nominated for an Academy Award for his original screenplay for the 1953 Western movie, The Naked Spur, which starred Jimmy Stewart.  Rolfe also produced The Man from U.N.C.L.E.  (Ian Fleming had come up with the "Napoleon Solo" name for the show's main character, but wasn't able to become more involved in the series due to his contract with the producers of the James Bond movies.)

Maureen O'Hara, Andrew McLaglen, and John
Wayne on the set of McClintock! (1963)

It was directed by Andrew McLaglen, the son of British actor Victor McLaglen, who is best known as John Wayne's co-star in several John Ford movies.  Andrew McLaglen, who directed about half of the Have Gun -- Will Travel episodes,  went on to direct a number of Western movies (several of which starred Wayne).  Other Have Gun -- Will Travel directors included actors William Conrad and Ida Lupino, the brilliant and mercurial Sam Peckinpah, and Richard Boone himself.

This particular Have Gun -- Will Travel episode was written by the best-selling novelist, Irving Wallace.  (Wallace and his son, David Wallechinsky, also wrote The People's Almanac and The Book of Lists.)

Other Have Gun -- Will Travel writers included Gene Roddenberry (the creator of Star Trek), Bruce Geller (the creator of Mission Impossible), and Harry Julian Fink (who along with his wife created the "Dirty Harry" character).

Besides Boone himself, the only actor who appeared regularly on Have Gun -- Will Travel was Kam Tong, who played "Hey Boy," the Chinese bellhop at the San Francisco hotel where Paladin resided.  Guest stars included Victor McLaglen, Pernell Roberts (better known as Adam Cartwright on Bonanza) June Lockhart (better known as the mother on Lassie and Lost in Space), legendary stuntman Hal Needham (who appeared in 26 episodes), Harry Carey, Jr. (thirteen episodes), George Kennedy (six), Denver Pyle (eight), and Charles Bronson (five).

Johnny Western (who was born Johnny Westerlund in a small town in northern Minnesota in 1934) was a country singer-songwriter who started performing professionally when he was 13.  After playing a supporting role in a first-season episode of Have Gun, Will Travel, he wrote "The Ballad of Paladin" as sort of a thank-you note to Richard Boone.  The song's first verse accompanied the show's closing credits in all subsequent seasons.

Here's Johnny Western's recording of "The Ballad of Paladin":

Click below to order the song from Amazon:

Plastic Bertrand -- "Ça plane pour moi" (1978)

"You are the king of the divan!"

Qu'elle me dit en passant

I am the king of the divan!

Ça plane pour moi

If you believe excess is never wretched, you're going to love Martin Scorsese's new movie, The Wolf of Wall Street.

Scorsese's movies are often quite violent.  But the Wolf of Wall Street has very little violence.  What is does have is three hours' worth of sex, drugs, and money.  (Especially money.)

It also has Australian actress Margot Robbie.

Margot Robbie

Last but not least, it has the f-word -- in fact, it has the f-word 506 times.  That's almost three f-words a minute.

Scorsese is one of the masters of the cinematic f-word, of course.  Both Goodfellas (300 f-words) and Casino (422 f-words) rank in the top 20 all-time f-word movies.  

A scene from Wolf of Wall Street

Speaking of famous movie directors, did you know that Jean-Luc Godard once said, "The history of the cinema is of boys photographing girls"?

There's a snippet of the 1978 Plastic Bertrand hit, "Ça plane pour moi," in the Wolf of Wall Street.  It's one of almost 60 songs on the movie's soundtrack.  I've heard the song somewhere else recently -- don't ask me where.  (And don't ask me why the French don't capitalize song titles like normal people.)

Plastic Bertrand (whose real name is Roger Jouret) is a Belgian songwriter, producer, and television presenter.

Roger Jouret, a/k/a Plastic Bertrand

Here's an excerpt from his Wikipedia page -- which uses English words but can't really be said to have been written in English:

[Roger Jouret] was born in Brussels of a French father and Ukranian mother.  At the age of nine, he became a singer and drummer in the Buffalo Scouts Band, a group he formed with the Boy Scouts, who performed covers of Rolling Stones songs.  He later formed a band called The Pelicans who performed at parties, later changing their name to Passing the Time, extending their act in bars, clubs and at festivals along the Dutch and Belgian coast. . . .

In 1973 he entered the [Royal Conservatory of Music in Brussels] to study music theory, percussion and music history.  Influenced by the punk movement, he created in 1974 the band Hubble Bubble, sharing his time between study at the Conservatory, rehearsals and concerts with the band, and work as stage manager at the Theatre des Galeries.  

In 1978 Hubble Bubble released their first of two albums, also titled Hubble Bubble.  Jouret is credited as the songwriter, singer and drummer under the name "Roger Junior."  Unfortunately, the group's bass player was killed in an accident returning from a rehearsal, and the group disbanded.

Plastic Bertrand actually isn't the singer of "Ça plane pour moi" -- although the record says he was.

But the song had already been recorded by its composer, Belgian pop star and music producer Lou Deprijck.  (Yes, that is an unfortunate name, isn't it?)  It's not clear why Deprijck didn't want his name on the record.  But for some reason, he chose to pay Jouret a whopping 0.5% royalty to be credited as the singer on "Ça plane pour moi," which was a top-ten hit in most European countries (but not Belgium) and eventually sold almost a million copies worldwide.

How about one more picture of Margot Robbie?

"Ça plane pour moi" is a stick of dynamite -- I love it to death.  It is sung mostly in French, although there are a few lines in English.  (See above.)  The lyrics are completely nonsensical in any language.

"Ça plane pour moi" is an idiomatic expression that can be translated as "Everything's going well," or "Works for me."

Click here for an English translation of the lyrics.

Click here to listen to "Ça plane pour moi," which is a STICK OF DYNAMITE!

And click on the link below to buy "Ça plane pour moi" from Amazon:

Electric Light Orchestra -- "Long Black Road" (2001)

Boy, you ain't going nowhere

With your cheap guitar 

And your big long hair

"Big long hair"?  What exactly does that mean?

Let's be honest.  "Big long hair" doesn't exactly trip off the tongue.  I have to think that Jeff Lynne threw in "big" simply because he was a syllable short of a full load in that line.

Jeff Lynne and his big long hair

Lynne is a songwriter and composer, an arranger, a singer, a multi-instrumentalist, and a record producer.  

He is best known for his work with the Electric Light Orchestra (a/k/a "ELO"), which released a dozen studio albums and sold over 50 million records worldwide.  But he was also a highly regarded record producer, who produced records for such musical luminaries as Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Randy Newman, Roy Orbison, and Tom Petty.

Lynne wrote most of ELO's big hits, including "Evil Woman," "Strange Magic," "Turn to Stone," "Mr. Blue Sky," and "Don't Bring Me Down."  Believe it or not, I know people who don't like his music -- which seems totally perverse to me.

But I know people who don't like Pink Floyd and think "MacArthur Park" is a bad song.  I know, I know -- it's hard to believe.  But there are a lot of folks out there who wouldn't know a good record if it walked up and bit 'em on the ass.  (Go figure.)

I heard "Long Black Road" for the first time recently.  It's featured in the closing credit sequence of the fabulous new movie, American Hustle.  

Christian Bale is an almost sure bet to be nominated for a "Best Actor" nomination for his work in American Hustle.  And I'm guessing that Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence (who has come a l-o-n-g way since Winter's Bone) will be nominated for "Best Actress" and "Best Supporting Actress" Oscars.

Amy Adams

Jennifer Lawrence

David Russell, who directed American Hustle, incorporates popular music into his movie soundtracks in order to bring about certain emotions in the audience:.

I think songs are like magic potions. . . . You have to use them properly, but they can be very enchanting if used in the right way at the right time.  When combined with a performance by an actor and the turn of a narrative, that's like the trifecta as the story and the emotion and the character and the music are all hitting, it can really be something.  

The American Hustle soundtrack includes an Arabic version of "White Rabbit," "Live and Let Die," "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart," "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," and the Tom Jones hit, "Delilah."

"Long Black Road" is possibly the most obscure ELO song ever.  It was a bonus track on the Japanese version of ELO's final studio album, Zoom, which was released in 2001.  I have no idea why director Russell and his music supervisor, Susan Jacobs, chose to include it.

American Hustle is loosely based on the FBI's 1980 anti-corruption "sting" operation known as "Abscam."  (The movie opens with these words: "Some of this actually happened.")

In a nutshell, Abscam featured fake Arab sheikhs offering members of Congress money in return for political favors that would have made it easier for the sheikhs to invest their fictional oil wealth in the United States.

Abscam resulted in the criminal convictions of various state and local elected officials, six congressmen, and U.S. Senator Harrison Williams of New Jersey, who is shown here with an FBI agent disguised as an Arab shiekh:

The operation was criticized by many as pure and simple entrapment, and the Department of Justice issued guidelines for future undercover "sting" operations in response to those criticisms.  

Legally, entrapment occurs when a policeman or other law enforcement agent induces someone to commit a crime that they otherwise were unlikely to commit.  If a police officer dresses up like a prostitute and waits for a man to solicit her to have sex for money, that's not entrapment.  But if a police officer dressed like a prostitute approaches a man and solicits money in exchange for sex, that's entrapment.  (Warning: whether it's entrapment or not, your wife is going to be really pissed.)

There were some delicious Abscam-related moments that were not touched on in American Hustle.  

For example, Florida congressman Richard Kelly (the only Republican official implicated in Abscam -- his conviction was later overturned on entrapment grounds) was videotaped stuffing $25,000 in cash into his pockets and then asking an undercover agent, "Does it show?"

Bob Guccione takes a break
from a busy day at the office

An FBI informant approached the late Penthouse magazine publisher Bob Guccione, who wanted to build a hotel and casino in Atlantic City, and told him a sheikh would invest in his project.  He suggested that Guccione offer New Jersey gaming officials a $300,000 bribe to grease the wheels for his gambling license.  Guccione responded, "Are you out of your mind?"

But no account of Abscam is complete without a mention of John and Rita Jenrette.

Rita and John Jenrette

John Jenrette, a congressmen from South Carolina, accepted a $50,000 bribe and spent 13 months in prison as a result.  Jenrette's comely young wife, Rita -- they were married in 1976, when he was 40 and she was 26 -- posed for Playboy six months after his conviction and told the magazine that she and her husband had sex on the steps of the U.S. Capitol during a break in an all-night House of Representatives session.

Rita Jenrette's Playboy cover

After divorcing the defrocked solon, Rita Jenrette starred in several movies, including Zombie Island Massacre (1984) and The Malibu Bikini Shop (1986).

Here's the trailer for Zombie Island Massacre.  (Rita's the woman who screams in the shower at o:34.)



In 2009, she married Prince Nicolò Boncompagni Ludovisi of Piombino, a formerly independent principality that is now part of Italy.  A couple of years ago, she told a New Yorker reporter that the whole making-love-on-the-Capitol-steps tale was a big-ass lie.

The Prince and Rita

After getting out of jail, John Jenrette later opened a public relations firm in his hometown, Myrtle Beach.  He spent another 30 days in the poke for shoplifting a necktie in 1989.

That's why I've stopped wearing ties to the office -- there are enough temptations in a man's life.

Here's "Long Black Road":

Click below to buy the song from Amazon:

Flamin' Groovies -- "Teenage Head" (1971)

When you see me

Better turn your tail and run

'Cause I'm angry

And I'll mess you up for fun

In the last 2 or 3 lines of 2013, I told you about winning free tickets to the Flamin' Groovies' first-ever live performance in Washington, DC, and giving one of those tickets to Diana Quinn (the lead singer for  Tru Fax and the Insaniacs, which was one of the great DC punk/garage bands of the 1980s).  

Diana returned the favor by introducing me to several other luminaries of the DC music scene who were in attendance at the show.  The evening was capped off when we met Flamin' Groovies lead singer Chris Wilson and the group's guitarist and co-founder, Cyril Jordan, after the show.

Click here if you missed that post.

This 2 or 3 lines features my interview of Diana Quinn, who may be the hardest-working musician in your nation's capital.  Diana is not only still a member of Tru Fax and the Insaniacs, but also performs with Honky Tonk Confidential (a retro country-western band), the Fabulettes (a classic sixties "girl group") and Diana & Mike (a country/rock/rockabilly acoustic duo).

Diana Quinn and David Wells of
Tru Fax and the Insaniacs (circa 1980)

Diana also has a day job: she's a producer/writer for CBS News.

And if that's not enough, she's also a serious collector of vintage clothing.  (Another term for such a person is "hoarder.")

One of the younger lawyers at my firm met Diana after a recent performance, and offered this one-sentence description:  "She was super cute and energetic and I dug her rockabilly shirt."  (I couldn't have put it better myself.)

Here's are the highlights of the interview:

2 or 3 lines:  Diana, you must have been terribly excited when I asked you to be interviewed for 2 or 3 lines.  How are you doing?  Not too nervous, I hope?

Diana Quinn:  Oh, no -- not at all.

2 or 3 lines:  I understand you’ve played at some pretty amazing venues – like the legendary New York City punk club, CBGB’s, as well as Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium, which was the home of the Grand Ole Opry for many years.  

Diana:  The best thing about Tru Fax and the Insaniacs playing CBGB’s was the photo we got taken of ourselves outside the club. The show was OK – it was a showcase with some other DC bands, including the Nurses and I can’t remember who else.  I do remember that our drummer, Michael Mariotte, broke some ribs a few days before the show, but he insisted on playing, all bandaged up.  That was Tru Fax and the Insaniacs.

)

Diana & Mike
(Diana Quinn, Mike Woods)

2 or 3 lines:  You say you can’t remember who else was on the bill when you played at CBGB’s.  Could it have been the Ramones?  The Talking Heads?  Blondie?  Joan Jett?  All those groups played at CBGB’s, didn’t they?

Diana:  Well, yes – they did.  But not the night we played there.

2 or 3 lines:  But you said that you didn’t remember who else played that night.  So you can’t be sure it wasn’t one of those groups.

Diana:  I’m pretty sure I’d remember if we played with one of those groups.

2 or 3 lines:  There’s one other possibility.  Maybe you played with the Ramones or Joan Jett but you don’t remember because of all the drugs you took that night.  

Diana:  Oh, no.  We never – 

2 or 3 lines:  I withdraw the question, Diana – there's no need to air a lot of dirty laundry from the ancient past.  Let’s move on to your Grand Ole Opry appearance, shall we?    I assume it was your country band, Honky Tonk Confidential, that played there -- am I correct?

Diana:  That’s right.  Honky Tonk Confidential performed at the Ryman Auditorium with Bob Schieffer of CBS News – he’s the moderator of “Face the Nation” and anchored the “CBS Evening News.”  Bob is a great lyricist, and he and I have collaborated on many songs.

Bob Schieffer with Diana Quinn

2 or 3 lines:  Ryman Auditorium is one of the most famous live-music venues in the country.  What was it like to perform there?

Diana:  Walking on the Ryman stage the first time -- for our sound check -- was truly magical.  And playing was a blast.  After the previous act finished playing, we had maybe a minute to get onstage, plug in our guitars, and get to the microphones before we were announced, and we had to be on time because the show was being broadcast on the radio.  [Click here to read more about the Ryman Auditorium appearance.]

2 or 3 lines:  Now let's move on to . . . 

Diana:  Could I mention one other thing before you ask the next question?  We also appeared once at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City.  It was quite an honor to meet Tony Bennett, who performed a song before Honky Tonk Confidential took the stage.  We like to flatter ourselves by saying that Tony Bennett opened for us at the Waldorf Astoria that night.

2 or 3 lines:  I'm confused.  You’re not saying Tony Bennett actually opened for Honky Tonk Confidential, are you?  Because it doesn’t sound like that is what happened.

Diana:  No, no.  It was just a little joke.

Honky Tonk Confidential

2 or 3 lines:  As I understand it, you were not familiar with 2 or 3 lines before we met at the recent Flamin’ Groovies show in Washington, DC.  Frankly, I find that a little hard to believe given that 2 or 3 lines is kind of a big deal – so are you, of course.  

Diana:  First off, I am definitely not a big deal, but it’s very nice of you to say so.  As for your blog, someone sent me a link to your piece about Tru Fax and the Insaniacs several years ago.  [NOTE: Click here to read that post.]  I was pleased to read it – it was very nice.

2 or 3 lines:  2 or 3 lines has featured over 600 songs, and I’m sure you’ll want to read each and every one.  I’ve sent you links to some of the posts that I’m sure will be of great interest to you – about how many have you read so far?

Diana:  Uh, I'm not sure.  But I’ve read a number of them.

G:  I see.  Exactly how many is “a number of them”?

Diana:  Mmmm . . . I would say several.  Definitely more than just a few.

2 or 3 lines:  Which one would you say is your favorite so far, and why?  It's probably very hard to choose just one.

Diana:  They are all interesting, but I especially liked your Matthew Sweet post -- the one about girlfriends.  I thought that was a very nice one.  I liked that you included a quote by Jane Austen.  [NOTE: Click here to read that post.]

The Fabulettes

2 or 3 lines:  That’s high praise indeed, coming from a big star such as yourself -- thank you, Diana!  As for the Jane Austen quote, I’ve found that chicks usually dig that kind of thing.  But let’s get to the Flamin’ Groovies.  As I understand it, you had also sent an entry to “DC Rocks,” hoping to win the drawing for the two free tickets that I ended up winning.  It’s kind of ironic, isn’t it – I’m the big winner, and you’re just another loser, but you still got to go to the concert for free thanks to my generosity.  Any comment on that?

Diana:  No . . . I can’t really think of anything.

2 or 3 lines:  Are you sure?  You can think about it for a minute or two before you answer if you need to – there’s no hurry to respond.  And you really haven’t said that much so far.

Diana:  . . . .

2 or 3 lines:  I have to admit, I was a little surprised when you accepted my offer of one of the two free tickets I won.  I mean, it wasn’t like we were going on a date or anything, but you obviously didn’t know me – I think a lot of women would have been a little suspicious of some unknown guy who popped up out of nowhere and offered them a free ticket to a concert.  I assume you Googled me before you responded?

Diana: Of course. You appeared to be harmless enough.

2 or 3 lines:  I did, huh?  Thank you -- I think.  So what was your impression of me when we met in person – what did you think of me in the flesh?  Besides being “harmless enough,” that is.

Diana:  You seemed very nice. [NOTE:  Diana uses “very nice” a lot, doesn't she?]  You were solicitous. Extremely polite.  Even charming.  And you were dressed somewhat appropriately, although you didn’t dress like most of the Washington law firm partners I know.

One of Honky Tonk
Confidential's albums

2 or 3 lines:   Anything else you wanted to say about me before we move on?  Anything particularly impressive that you noticed?  

Diana:  Mmmm, let me think . . . well, you’re very tall – I noticed that right away.  And you’re trim.  It’s obvious that you keep in shape.

2 or 3 lines:  Thank you!  Hey, I figure that if I don’t watch my figure, no one else will – right?  Hahahaha.

Diana:  Ah, you’re a fan of Ziegfield Girl, I see – that’s a great movie with a great cast.  Jimmy Stewart, Judy Garland, Hedy Lamarr . . . and one of my personal favorites, Dan Dailey.

Dan Dailey

2 or 3 lines:  I'm afraid you've lost me.  What in the hell are you talking about, Diana?

Diana:  Ziegfield Girl – it’s a classic Busby Berkeley movie.  You just paraphrased a line from it -- the line about watching your figure.

2 or 3 lines:  Did I hear you correctly?  Did you say Dan Dailey is one of your favorite actors?  The guy from “The Governor and J.J.”?

Diana:  Yes, although I like him more because of his movies.

2 or 3 lines:  Diana, no one reading this interview has a clue who Dan Dailey is -- maybe their grandparents knew who Dan Dailey was, but those grandparents are either dead or don't have a computer or both.  So let’s move on.  By the way, how’s the interview going so far?  Having a good time so far?

Diana:  It’s been . . . uh . . . different.  Not exactly what I was expecting.

2 or 3 lines:  Thank you!  I appreciate the compliment, and I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.  Speaking of the Flamin’ Groovies . . . would you describe yourself as a big fan?

Diana performing with Tru
Fax and the Insaniacs

Diana: Not as big a fan as I am of the Stooges or the New York Dolls or the Ramones, which were other huge influences on Tru Fax and the Insaniacs.  But Teenage Head was on one of the first albums that David Wells, who was the co-founder of Tru Fax, ever played for me.  We hadn’t formed our band yet, but we were talking about it, and I think that what we wanted to do was similar to what the Flamin’ Groovies did in that we wanted to have hooks and a kind of raw power and play songs crafted like “Teenage Head.”  Also, the Groovies had the same kind of tongue-in-cheek attitude that we had.  

2 or 3 lines:  What songs by the Groovies were the best in your opinion? 

Diana:  Of all the Flamin’ Groovies’ songs, I think “Teenage Head” and “Shake Some Action”  were the two most influential on  punk/new wave bands and musicians.  Most of the songs on the Teenage Head album were pretty straightforward rock/blues tunes.  What set it apart was the rawness and the sloppiness of the recordings and performances.  From my point of view, that is a good thing, because the overriding factor that makes the album so good was the pure energy of those performances.  

2 or 3 lines:  What about "Teenage Head" in particular -- I'm referring to the song, not the album.

Diana:  While I like the album Teenage Head, it wouldn’t be on my list of influential albums without that seminal title track.  I found “Teenage Head” absolutely mind-blowing.  It transfixed me.  When I hear it, my head starts nodding to the beat.  The beat then invades your body and takes over.  “Teenage Head” is the perfect protopunk song.  It has thumping power, it has feigned malevolence, it even has a sense of humor.  It’s full of teenage angst, but it’s tongue-in-cheek.  We know that we’re searching for meaning, floundering through life, but it’s not the end of the world, for crying out loud.  

2 or 3 lines:  The Groovies' original lead singer, Roy Loney, left the band after it released Teenage Head in 1971.  Chris Wilson eventually replaced him, and the band went to England several years to record their next album, Shake Some Action, which was one of three albums they did for Sire Records in the late 1970s.

Diana:  I really loved that first Sire album, Shake Some Action -- especially the title track.  The band made a continental shift when Roy Loney left, moving into pure pop territory -- not that there’s anything wrong with that.  The Groovies sort of threw themselves back into England at the time of the "British Invasion," and some of the resulting songs are beautiful, little pop gems.   

2 or 3 lines:  Speaking as an accomplished musician in your own right, what do you think made the Flamin' Groovies so special as a band?  What were their greatest strengths?

Diana:  The hooks and the inimitable guitar sound.  You hear some Groovies songs and you know right away who that guitar player is -- it’s Cyril Jordan.  I love that jangly, Byrds-ish guitar sound.  Also, the group’s unpretentious and friendly attitude and their willingness to make fun of themselves.  That may not seem like a strength, but it is.

2 or 3 lines:  What did other musicians of your acquaintance think about them?  They never achieved a great degree of popularity with the public at large – were they a favorite of other musicians?

Diana Quinn, Mark Noone (the Slickee Boys) 
and Lynda Cokinos ("DC Rocks" blog)

Diana:  Yes, definitely – and you noticed that at the U Street Music Hall show we went to.  There were a lot of musicians and fans there from back in the day, all there to pay their respects to the Groovies:  Mark Noone and Kim Kane of the Slickee Boys . . . Bob Boilen, who played with Tiny Desk Unit and who hosts NPR’s All Songs Considered show . . . and many others.  Even Steve Lorber, who introduced so many punk and new wave songs to us on his "Mystic Eyes" radio show, was there.  So was Skip Groff, who owned "Yesterday and Today Records" in Rockville, Maryland.  [NOTE: Groff also owned Limp Records, which released 20-odd punk records by local artists between 1978 and 1982.]

2 or 3 lines:  I think the Groovies' “Shake Some Action” is one of the very best rock songs of all time. 

Diana:  “Shake Some Action” was very influential in the early punk/new wave scene.  It’s just about perfect -- a guitar-driven, power-pop  masterpiece.  Compared to the growling, bass-driven “Teenage Head,” “Shake Some Action” is light and jangly, with that syncopated chorus that just makes you want to pogo up and down.  The producer, Dave Edmunds, had a big fat sound on his own records, and you can clearly see his influence with all the layering, especially of guitar tracks, on “Shake Some Action.”  It was a great song and it should have made the Flamin’ Groovies famous. 

2 or 3 lines:  Any other Groovies’ songs you particularly like?

Diana:  Of their other poppy songs, I’d have to say that  I love “You Tore Me Down” the most.  It’s a beautifully sad song about breakup and romantic sorrow and it’s perfectly crafted with lush, jangly guitars and sweet and simple harmonies.

2 or 3 lines:  “Shake Some Action” was the 500th song to be featured on 2 or 3 lines, and I interviewed the band’s lead singer, Chris Wilson, for that post.  [NOTE: You can click here if you missed it.]  Tell me how great it was for you when I introduced you to Chris after the concert and got him to agree to pose for a picture with you.

Two legends meet: Diana 
Quinn with Chris Wilson

Diana:  Oh yes, I did read the interview you did with Chris Wilson.  He mentioned how odd David Bowie was when the Groovies toured with him, but you didn’t follow up, so I’ve been wondering exactly what he meant.  [NOTE:  As for not following up with Chris Wilson concerning why he thought David Bowie was odd, I guess I didn’t feel the need to ask why Chris felt that way because David Bowie is just about the weirdest effing guy who ever recorded an album.]  What was the question again?  Oh yeah, you asked me about meeting Chris Wilson.  I do have to say that he was a truly nice, gracious guy, and it was fun talking to him.  But I wonder how much of our conversation he remembered the next morning, though.   

2 or 3 lines:  Diana, it’s been fun talking with you.  I want to feature songs from all of your groups on 2 or 3 lines  in the future.  So let’s keep in touch -- OK?

Diana:  Sure, Gary.

"Teenage Head" is a great song, but it really shouldn't have been featured in this 2 or 3 lines.  You see, I asked Diana to pick a song that met two simple criteria.  First, it had to be a song that the Groovies played at the concert we attended.  Second, it had to be a song that was recorded when Chris Wilson -- he's my BFF! -- was the lead singer (not Roy Loney, the original Flamin' Groovies lead singer).  

But Diana said she wanted to talk about "Teenage Head" -- which was recorded long before Chris Wilson replaced Roy Loney, and which the Groovies did not play the night we saw them.

Cyril Jordan and Chris Wilson
of the Flamin' Groovies

What could I do in the face of Diana's seeming inability to follow simple directions?  Nothing, really.  I just let it go.  Because this is the business that I have chosen.  Capisce?

One final note about "Teenage Head."  In a 2011 interview that appeared in the Los Angeles music magazine, L.A. Record, Cyril Jordan was asked where the song's name came from:

Interviewer:  Didn’t you get the phrase "Teenage Head" from some time you were on acid with [the colorful musician and record producer] Kim Fowley at a folk festival?

Cyril Jordan:  That’s true!  I dropped two tabs that were 1500 mg each.  [Kim] was getting a contact high off me!  He had me in hysterics!  Every time some little chippie would walk by, he’d immediately come on to her.  "We’re available . . . we’re looking for teenage head!"  I laughed so hard that when I woke up the next morning, my mouth was wide open and stuck that way for an hour.  We even said it to Linda Ronstadt!  Let me tell you, she was not pleased!

Click here to read the entire L.A. Record interview.  

Here's "Teenage Head":

Click below to buy the song from Amazon:

Lou Christie -- "Lightnin' Strikes" (1966)

Every boy wants a girl
He can trust to the very end
Baby, that's you

"Wait just a cotton-pickin' minute!" you are probably saying to yourself right now (especially if you are  a Tennessee Ernie Ford impersonator, or you are from Arkansas, or both).  "You said in the last 2 or 3 lines of 2013 that the first 2 or 3 lines of 2014 was going to feature an interview with the lead singer of Two-Eyed Jacks and the Maniacs, or Zoo Crap and the Insomniacs, or some such band.  But this ain't that." 

Indeed it ain't, dear reader.  In fact, it could hardly be more ain'ter.

There's a simple explanation for this sudden change of plan, and it's spelled R-O-C-K  S-T-A-R  A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E.

This may surprise you, but some rock stars have big egos and are major pains in the ass as a result.  (Believe me, 2 or 3 lines knows what someone with a big ego looks like.  That's because 2 or 3 lines has a mirror in his bathroom.)

A very young Lou Christie

Unfortunately, it turns out that the rock star whose interview was supposed to be the centerpiece of the first 2 or 3 lines of 2013 turned out to be a bit of a diva.  

I did everything I could to make the interview process as easy for her as I could.  I did everything but supply the answers to the questions I e-mailed her weeks and weeks ago.  (To tell the truth, I did a little of that as well.)

2 or 3 lines has a lot of moving parts.  We publish every Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday, at precisely 12:01 am.  Missing a publication deadline is simply not an option.  So when a guest writer or interview subject doesn't step up to the plate and deliver what he or she has promised, it's kind of a big deal.  

A couple of days ago, it became apparent to me that Little Miss I'm-A-Big-Ass-Rock-Star wasn't going to meet my deadline.  So I had to pull together a substitute post featuring a different song to run in place of her interview.

I don't know why this happened -- frankly, I don't really care.  Whether Madame A-Legend-In-Her-Own-Mind had downed one (or two or six) too many Michelob Ultras, or her publicist was too busy shopping the after-Christmas sales, or something else happened to delay the promised response don't make no never mind to me.

Christie with his backup singers

That's because this is a bottom-line kind of business and I'm a bottom-line kind of guy -- and the bottom line is I had to have a post ready to go up on Friday morning, January 3, at 12:01 AM, come hell or high water. 

I'm not going to mention the name of Lady Too-Big-For-Her-Britches or her band.  No doubt her people have all kinds of Google alerts set up.  Or perhaps they simply peruse the Internet on a daily basis in search of any even remotely critical statements about their boss so they can go running to the lawyers toot sweet.  But if you read the previous 2 or 3 lines, you'll know who I'm talking about.

I'm hoping that the Duchess of I'll-Get-Back-To-You-When-I'm-Good-And-Ready will send me answers to my questions in time for me to post them on Sunday.  If she doesn't, you can best believe there will be a brand-new 2 or 3 lines up for your edification and reading pleasure first thing Sunday morning.  (If that happens, I have no idea what song will be featured -- I trust the Lord and my sentient iPod to deliver.)

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy "Lightnin' Strikes," which reached #1 on the Billboard "Hot 100" in February 1966.  The song was co-written by singer Lou Christie and his regular songwriting partner, Twyla Herbert (who was over 20 years older than Christie).  

"Lightnin' Strikes" has a somewhat anachronistic sound -- due in large part to Christie's falsetto singing (which was somewhat reminiscent of Frankie Valli).  This record sounded like there had been no such thing as the "British Invasion" -- it could just as easily have been released in 1961 or '62.

Here's "Lightnin' Strikes":

Click below to order the song from Amazon:

Flamin' Groovies -- "Yes I Am" (1979)

Feeling like I'm ten feet tall

You know I'm not the same old man

As you may know, the month of January -- which begins tomorrow -- got its name from Janus, the Roman god of beginnings and transitions.

Janus is always depicted as having two faces -- one looking backward into the past, and one looking forward into the future. 

Janus

Keep Janus in mind as you read the final 2 or 3 lines post of 2013 and the first post of 2014, which will appear in a few days. 

* * * * *

The starting point for 2 or 3 lines way back in 2009 was a local radio show called "The Mystic Eyes."

That show has been off the air for over 30 years, but it continues to play a major role in not only the life of 2 or 3 lines, but also in my life.  It's my personal equivalent of Charles Swann's madeleines.  

In fact, the most significant music-related event of 2013 for me took place as a direct result of my recording many hours of "The Mystic Eyes" program in 1980.  

One of the songs that was featured regularly on that program was "Washingtron," by Tru Fax and the Insaniacs, a local band that was at the height of its popularity then.  

"Washingtron" quickly became a favorite of mine thanks to the very clever lyrics, including these:

I used to work as a waitron

In the lounge of the Hiltron

Now I work for my Senatron

And I live in Arlingtron

I'm just a Washingtron

I featured "Washingtron" on this blog on May 9, 2010.  Here's a link to that post.

The day after that post appeared, Michael Mariotte -- the Tru Fax drummer -- posted a link to 2 or 3 lines on the band's Facebook page, and wrote this comment: "New blog posting on Tru Fax; not sure who these people are, but it's an entertaining blog."

That post attracted the attention of another blogger who arranged for a friend to digitize the dozens of "Mystics Eyes" cassette tapes I had recorded in 1980.

I also got an e-mail from Lynda Cokinos, whose "DC Rocks" blog is an invaluable resource for people who want to keep up with the Washington-area live music scene.  Lynda, who had also heard about my "Washingtron" post from Michael Mariotte, congratulated me on my "cool" blog and alerted me to the existence of hers.  Here's a link to "DC Rocks."

* * * * *

Fast forward to November 4, 2013.  The "DC Rocks" post that day was about an upcoming Washington appearance of the Flamin' Groovies, one of my favorite bands ever.

As you more dedicated readers of 2 or 3 lines will recall, I hold "Shake Some Action" by the Flamin' Groovies in such high regard that I chose it to be the 500th song featured on my wildly popular blog.  

Click here to read part one of that three-part post, which featured an interview with Groovies' frontman Chris Wilson and an appreciation by Joe Nolte of The Last (whose "She Don't Know Why I'm Here" was the very first song I ever wrote about for 2 or 3 lines).  Click here to read part two.  Click here to read part three.

Washington's 9:30 Club provided Lynda Cokinos with two free tickets to the Flamin' Groovies show, and Lynda's November 4 post offered to give those tickets away to a lucky reader of "DC Rocks."  All you had to do was submit an e-mail with the word "GROOVY" in the subject box, and hope that you were the lucky fan whose name was drawn out of a hat.

Imagine my surprise when I found an e-mail from Lynda informing me that I had won the free ducats.  Winner, winner, chicken dinner! 

My karma has been exceptionally good recently.  I would have gone to the show regardless, but winning free tickets made it seem like it was destined that I attend.

There was one slight complication.  I had won two tickets, and it seemed a shame to waste the second one.  

The only person in my family who would have any interest in the Flamin' Groovies was my oldest son, Nick.  I had taken him to see the Offspring and Sonic Youth when he was a teenager, and he had taken me to a Mission of Burma show a few years ago.  Unfortunately, he is a very busy young lawyer, and was going to be out of town on business the night of the Groovies' show.

Cyril Jordan (L) and Chris Wilson (R)
of the Flamin' Groovies

I thought about various friends and acquaintances who might have an interest in the Groovies, but there were no obvious choices.

Suddenly, I had a "Eureka!" moment.  I would invite the lead singer/guitarist of Tru Fax and the Insaniacs, Diana Quinn, to the concert. 

I honestly figured there was no way Diana would accept.  After all, I had never met her -- I had never even spoken to her via e-mail -- and I assumed that an invitation from a total stranger coming out of the blue like this would be turned down or even ignored.  (There I go assuming things again!)  

Rejection wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world: even if she did say "No," I would have made her acquaintance and hopefully paved the way for a future 2 or 3 lines interview.  (I go to incredible lengths for you, dear readers.)

However, Diana threw a big-ass spanner into the works by actually saying "Yes" to my invitation.  My best-laid scheme had gang aft agley big time!  

* * * * *

Fast forward once more -- this time to November 12, 2013.  

The Groovies took the stage at the U Street Music Hall at about 8 pm.  I came to the concert bearing gifts for Diana Quinn: a homemade CD with Flamin' Groovies music and a copy of the "Mystic Eyes Greatest Hits" cassette tape I had created 30 years previously -- which of course included "Washingtron."

Also in attendance at the concert that night was Steve Lorber, the "Mystic Eyes" DJ, and my benefactress -- Lynda Cokinos of "DC Rocks."  Mark Noone -- the lead singer of the legendary DC punk-garage band, the Slickee Boys -- was there as well, as was Kim Kane, the Slickee Boys' guitarist.

Diana Quinn, Mark Noone, and Lynda Cokinos

I was agog at this extraordinary collection of local celebrities.  But my excitement was offset by feelings of regret -- regret that I hadn't jumped into the Washington live music scene decades previously.

There was no excuse for my failure to launch.  I worked at the Federal Trade Commission in 1980, and my office was only a few blocks from the 9:30 Club, which was ground zero for alternative music in your nation's capital in the eighties and early nineties. 

I could have been there several nights a week, watching some truly great groups -- including touring bands like X, the Bangles, Hüsker Dü, the Butthole Surfers, the Go-Go's, and Black Flag, and local bands like Fugazi, Minor Threat, the Insect Surfers, the Urban Verbs, Tru Fax and the Insaniacs, and the Slickee Boys (who performed at the 9:30 no fewer than 81 times).

I would have shed a tear for my misspent youth, but I was having too good a time talking to Diana Quinn and all her musical friends and listening to the fabulous music of the Chris Wilson-era Flamin' Groovies -- which one reviewer has described as the only group other than the Beach Boys who were playing sixties-sounding pop music in the seventies.

After the Groovies closed the show with a spirited rendition of "Shake Some Action," we hung around until Cyril Jordan (the band's co-founder and guitarist) and Chris Wilson (the group's longtime lead singer) came out from their dressing room to sign autographs and greet their fans.

Flamin' Groovies frontman
Chris Wilson with yours truly

Chris greeted me enthusiastically, and said some very kind things about my interview with him.  

I then complimented him on the Groovies' cover of the Rolling Stones' "Jumpin' Jack Flash."  Some know-it-all fan jumped in to our conversation and told Chris that he had heard that song had been inspired by a particular London street musician, but Chris corrected him -- prefacing his explanation with these words: "Actually, my buddy Keith Richards told me that . . . ."  

I stopped listening to his explanation at that point -- the realization that I was one degree of separation from Keith Richards was too overwhelming for me to handle.

All in all, the evening was great.  Diana was as much fun as a barrel of monkeys, which may have been due in large part to the fact that she pounded down at least five beers in about two hours.  (I only had three beers during the evening.  To be fair, I was drinking Belgian-style ales, which had a lot more alcohol than the light beers she favored.  On the other hand, I weighed twice as much as she did, so I should have been able to absorb a lot more beer than Diana without showing the effects.)

Diana Quinn with beer
 in hand (as usual)

All the beer was largely responsible for us getting completely lost going home on the Washington Metro after the show.  But there were factors other than alcohol contributing to our long and winding subway odyssey -- primarily my tendency to assume too much.  And as everyone knows, when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.

One thing I assumed that evening was that Diana was a regular Metro rider, and that she would know what train to take to get home.  But I was sadly mistaken.  

You see, Diana performs regularly in three different bands, and is also a producer/writer for CBS News.  So she is kind of a big deal.

Diana is such a big deal, in fact, that she apparently never rides the subway like we hoi polloi do.  Perhaps she just keeps a big stack of fifties in her purse that she dispenses promiscuously to the Washington cab drivers who service her transportation needs.  Or maybe she has a limo, or a helicopter.

Whatever the reason, she followed me on to a subway train that was going in exactly the opposite direction from her destination with nary a protest.  And as my 8th-grade government teacher used to say, "When the blind lead the blind, we all go into the ditch together."

Eventually I managed to get Diana on the right train.  Sometime after that, I managed to get myself on the right subway line as well -- barely making the last Metro train of the evening.

As Shakespeare once said, all's well that ends well.  But all would have been even weller if it had ended a couple of hours earlier.

I subsequently interviewed Diana Quinn, and you'll be able to read that interview in the first 2 or 3 lines of 2014.  [NOTE: Due to circumstances beyond my control, the Diana Quinn interview actually appeared in the second 2 or 3 lines of 2014.]

"Yes I Am" was released on Jumpin' in the Night, the second of three Groovies albums that were released by Sire Records in the late 1970s.

Those albums contain a number of fabulous British invasion-style songs, and it wasn't easy to choose to feature in this post.  But "Yes I Am" is not only a great song but also was one of the songs the band performed live the night I saw them.  That sort of clinched the deal.

Here's "Yes I Am":

Click here if you'd like he song from Amazon: