2 or 3 lines has previously featured two records by the Australian punk band, the Saints – “I’m Stranded” and “Porno Movies.”
Today we’re featuring the Saints’ very best track, “Know Your Product,” which is a stick of dynamite if there ever was one.
The Guardian newspaper described “Know Your Product” as “one of the greatest Australian singles ever made.” That’s pretty close, but they should have deleted the “one of.”
* * * * *
Kurt Cobain included the Saints’ Know Your Product album on a handwritten list of his 50 favorite albums.
The artists represented on that list include the Bad Brains, Breeders, Butthole Surfers, Clash, Flipper, P. J. Harvey, Mazzy Star, Mudhoney, Sex Pistols, Sonic Youth, and Stooges. It’s a very interesting list – we’ll be delving into it more deeply in the very near future.
The Sex Pistols, the Damned, the Clash, and the Buzzcocks were all great punk bands – but none of them were the first punk band.
Some people say that the Ramones were the first true punk band, while others point to the Dictators.
The Dictators were formed before the Ramones were, and their first album was released almost a year earlier than the Ramones’ eponymous debut album. But while the music of the Dictators sounded pretty punk, their original songs had a certain tongue-in-cheek character – I’m not sure how seriously to take them.
(Green Day was NOT the first punk rock band)
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“I’m Stranded” clearly wasn’t the first punk rock record, but the Saints – who were formed in Brisbane, Australia, in 1973 – arguably deserve the title of “First True Punk Rock Band” as much as anyone.
The group couldn’t find a record company that wanted to sign them, so they decided to record and release “I’m Stranded” on their own in September 1976 – which was about a month before the Damned released their iconic first punk single, “New Rose.”
I’m not sure when I first became aware of “I’m Stranded,” but it had been off my radar for some time until very recently, when I heard it while listening to a punk-rock playlist on Spotify. (Thanks to my older son for giving me a year’s subscription to Spotify for Christmas.)
It is a m-o-n-e-y record – relentless and truly punk in attitude. But it’s only my second-favorite Saints record.
Tune in to the next 2 or 3 lines to find out which Saints record is my favorite.
[Warning: a somewhat gruesome photo of a dead mouse appears later in this post. If you would find such a photo disturbing, you might want to leave 2 or 3 lines without reading any further – my feelings won’t be hurt.]
This post isn’t about porno movies BUT I MADE YOU LOOK!
Do you think a true patriot like me would write about porn on Independence Day? Of course not!
By the way, today is INDEPENDENCE DAY. It’s NOT the 4th of July. That’s the date that Independence Day is observed, not the name of the holiday. (Do you wish people “Merry 25th of December” or “Happy 1st of January”? Of course you don’t!)
There are plenty of X-rated movies available on the internet, and you’re free to go looking for them whenever you wish. Just don’t expect to find any on 2 or 3 lines.
One thing that’s even more obscene than porno movies is Burger King’s new “Mac n' Cheetos™” menu item.
According to the Burger King website, “Mac n' Cheetos™ are creamy mac n' cheese covered with crispy Cheetos flavor and served warm.” Here’s a photo:
Mac 'n' Cheetos™
In that photo, “Mac n' Cheetos™” looks like a bunch of large Cheetos stuffed with macaroni and cheese. (I don’t have the foggiest idea how they get the macaroni and cheese inside, but they do.)
Which reminds me of a joke. (I take pride in always having an on-topic joke – not necessarily a good on-topic joke, just an on-topic joke.)
A guy goes to a doctor because his p*nis has turned bright orange.
“I’ve never seen anything like that,” the doctor says after examining him. “Have you been exposed to radiation or toxic chemicals at your job?”
“No,” the guy tells him. “I haven't had a job for months.”
“So what do you do all day?” the doctor asks.
“Mostly I watch porn and eat Cheetos,” the guy answers.
*****
Now it’s time for that mouse picture I warned you about.
This morning, while I was eating breakfast on my patio, I noticed a clicking noise coming from the condenser fan of my central air conditioner.
I figured a twig had fallen through the grille that’s on top of the fan. But when I took a closer look, this is what I saw:
I went to get a pair of barbecue tongs to remove the mouse, but then realized that the mouse’s body was too thick to be pulled out through the grille. Which made me wonder how the hell the mouse ended up where it ended up.
Any theories?
*****
The Saints were a pioneering Australian punk-rock band that formed about the same time as the Ramones.
The Saints
Their first record – “I’m Stranded” (1976) – was the first record released by a non-U.S. punk band. (The Clash and the Sex Pistols weren’t far behind, but the Saints beat them out.)
“Porno Movies” is the first track from the band’s 2005 album, “Nothing is Straight in My House.”
Here’s “Porno Movies”:
Click below to buy the song – which is a winner, boys and girls – from Amazon:
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