Johnny Burnette – "You're Sixteen" (1960)

You’re sixteen

You’re beautiful

And you’re mine!

My wildly popular little blog is sixteen years today! 

That’s right, 2 or 3 lines is turning sweet sixteen – hard to believe, but true!

To mark the occasion, I’ve decided to give myself a long-overdue checkup from the neck up.  I'm hoping to be able to answer this question: am I suffering from a scientifically recognized mental disorder, or am I simply weird? 

*     *     *     *     *

It’s obvious to anyone who knows me well that I’m something of a hot mess.  But there are many different kinds of hot messes – which kind am I exactly?

To answer that question, I turned to the 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders ("DSM-5") – that’s the standard reference work used by mental health professionals to diagnose mental illness.

I first checked out the definition for obsessive-compulsive disorder – or “OCD.”  But while I lean toward being obsessive, I’m not really compulsive – I don’t engage in excessive hand-washing, or repeatedly check that I’ve turned off my appliances and locked my doors.  

But when I read the criteria for obsessive-compulsive personality disorder – or “OCPD” – I decided that was what I had.

My therapist pooh-poohed my diagnosis.  She pointed out that people with OCPD have little, if any, self-awareness concerning their condition, while I am very aware of my weirdness.  

*     *     *     *     *

 

The DSM-5 defines OCPD as “a persistent pattern of preoccupation with order; perfectionism; and control of self, others, and situations” that manifests itself by early adulthood.

Experts say that obsessive-compulsive personality disorder – which is sometimes called anankastic personality disorder – is the most prevalent personality disorder, affecting somewhere between 3% and 8% of the population.  It is believed to be responsible for greater direct medical costs and productivity losses than any other personality disorder, but is largely ignored by researchers.  (Borderline personality disorder is the subject of over 30 times as many published scientific papers as OCPD, while there are about 100 times more papers about ADHD than there are about OCPD.) 

According to the DSM-5, an OCPD diagnosis requires the presence of four or more of the following behaviors:

1.  Preoccupation with details, rules, schedules, organization, and lists

2.  A striving to do something perfectly that interferes with completion of the task

3.  Excessive devotion to work and productivity (not due to financial necessity), resulting in neglect of leisure activities and friends

4.  Excessive conscientiousness, fastidiousness, and inflexibility regarding ethical and moral issues and values

5.  Unwillingness to throw out worn-out or worthless objects, even those with no sentimental value

6.  Reluctance to delegate or work with other people unless those people agree to do things exactly as the patient wants

7.  A miserly approach to spending for themselves and others because they see money as something to be saved for future disasters

8. Rigidity and stubbornness

We’ll do a deep dive into those OCPD criteria in the next few 2 or 3 lines posts.  

*     *     *     *     *

“You’re Sixteen” was written by brothers Robert and Richard Sherman, who wrote the scores of dozens of movies – including The Parent Trap, Mary Poppins, The Jungle Book, and several other Disney classics.  (The Shermans also wrote “It’s a Small World (After All),” which some consider to be the most performed song ever written.)

Johnny Burnette’s recording of “You’re Sixteen” peaked at #8 on the Billboard “Hot 100” in December 1960.  Ringo Starr’s cover of the song did even better, going all the way to #1 in 1973.  

Starr was 33 years old when he recorded “You’re Sixteen.”  I don’t remember anyone criticizing him for singing about a girl who was half his age back in 1973, but some more contemporary writers have found his recording to be a little creepy.  

“Maybe people thought this sh*t was cute then, but it's not cute now,” one reviewer wrote in 2019.  “I won't be sad if I never hear ‘You’re Sixteen’ again.”

Click here to listen to Johnny Burnette’s original recording of “You’re Sixteen.”

Click here to buy that recording – which was featured on the American Graffiti soundtrack – from Amazon.