I don’t want to walk about like everybody else
I don’t want to live my life like everybody else
I don’t want to stay confined like everybody else
’Cause I’m not like everybody else
They say that time flies when you’re having fun.
That’s true as far as it goes. But as artist Mary Engelbreit has pointed out, time flies whether you’re having fun or not.
Ask anyone to tell you how long ago a long-ago event in their life took place, and I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts that they underestimate the amount of time that has passed. I know that I am constantly surprised to learn that something I think happened X years ago actually took place X + Y years ago.
I know for a fact that I posted the first 2 or 3 lines post exactly 15 years ago today. But I find that hard to believe because the last 15 years seem to have flown by – whether I was having fun or not.
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Today we’re marking the birthday of my wildly successful little blog the same way we’ve marked it for a number of years now – by presenting an interview with 2 or 3 lines himself.
And who is conducting that interview? No other than 2 or 3 lines! (Quelle surprise, n’est-ce pas?)
So without further ado . . .
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Q: Greetings and salutations on this most auspicious of days!
A: ’Sup, pimp?
Q: 2 or 3 lines is 15 years old today. Do you find that as hard to believe as I do?
A: How the hell would I know how hard you find it to believe that? I’m not a f*cking mindreader.
Q: Off to a great start, as usual. You led off this post with four lines from the Kinks’ 1966 record, “I’m Not Like Everybody Else.” Isn’t quoting four lines at the beginning of a 2 or 3 lines post inconsistent with the blog’s name?
A: The name of my blog is 2 or 3 lines (and so much more), so I’ll admit that you have a point there.
Q: In the early days of 2 or 3 lines you often quoted more than two or three lines ate the beginning of your posts – on occasion, you went way over two or three lines.
A: That’s true enough. But for at least the last ten years, I’ve stuck to the two or three lines – with very occasional exceptions.
Q: Like today.
A: Yes, like today. But today is very special, after all – it is the 15th anniversary of the birth of 2 or 3 lines.
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Q: Do you know what the traditional gift for a 15th anniversary is?
A: It will come as no surprise to my bar trivia rivals that I just so happen to know what all the traditional wedding anniversary gifts are. For example, I know that the traditional sixth anniversary gift is either candy or iron, while the traditional ninth anniversary gift is willow or pottery, and the 15th anniversary gift is crystal.
Q: Willow? Really?
A: That’s what the Hallmark website says, and I trust Hallmark to know that sh*t. By the way, the traditional 16th wedding anniversary gift is either silverware or wax.
Q: Wax? So I guess candles would be a suitable 16th anniversary gift?
A: Yes, if you’re a cheapskate and you don’t mind your wife giving you the cold shoulder when you go to bed that night.
Q: I suppose most wives would prefer a nice silver coffee service to candles.
A: You’re g*dd*amned right they would!
* * *. *. *
Q: Your choice of the featured song for today’s very special 15th-anniversary post is a very telling one. You clearly believe that you’re not like everybody else – correct?
A: I suppose so.
Q: Someone recently told me about something you do that makes my point very nicely. As I understand it, your weekly trivia contests consist of several rounds of five questions. At the beginning of the game, the host discloses what general category each of those questions falls into, and each team is asked to pick one category from each round as its “bonus” category. If a team answers its bonus question correctly, it gets extra points. Do I have that right?
A: You do.
Q: The teams write down the numbers of their bonus categories just before the game begins and take that piece of paper to the game’s host, who records each team’s choices on his computer. But I hear that’s not the way you communicate your choices.
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A: You hear correctly.
Q: You stay at your table until the host finishes recording the bonus choices of all the other teams. When he looks up from that task, you catch his eye and hold up fingers to identify which categories you are picking. Can you explain to me why you do things that way instead of writing down your choices and walking them up to the host like everybody else does?
A: Because my team is special – we don’t have to do things like everybody else.
Q: Don’t you think that making your bonus choices that way is a bit of a dick move?
A: I suppose you could say it’s a bit of a dick move. But I don’t really think of it that way.
Q: You don’t? How so?
A: I do a lot of things at trivia that you would probably characterize as dick moves – and most of them are a lot more obnoxious than this one. Look at it this way: if you’re the best player on the best team week after week, doesn’t that make you special?
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Q: Today’s featured song was released in 1966 as the B side to “Sunny Afternoon.”
A: Which I believe belongs on the Mt. Rushmore of Kinks records.
Q. “I’m Not Like Everybody Else” has been described as “a defiant anthem of non-conformity.” But do you think the singer is happy being an outsider? Do you think he wishes he wasn’t different from everybody else?
A: Maybe it’s a the-grass-is-always-greener-on-the-other-side-of-the-fence situation. Maybe outsiders feel isolated and alone and want to fit in with the crowd, while conformists need to feel like they’re individuals.
Q: Which group do you fit in to?
A: At heart, I’m a conformist – I usually don’t rock the boat. I’m an oldest child, and oldest children try to please their parents. I always got good grades and stayed out of trouble. I went to law school because it was a safe thing to do. I never used illegal drugs, and I waited until after I was married to have children. But I don’t like thinking of myself as a conformist – it’s much more romantic to be a rebel.
Q: Are you saying that the whole devil-may-care, let-it-all-hang-out persona you’ve created on 2 or 3 lines is phony?
A: I am absolutely not saying that. My persona is as real as it gets. But it’s still just a persona.
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Click here to listen to “I’m Not Like Everybody Else.”
Click here to buy that recording from Amazon.
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