Humble Pie – "30 Days in the Hole" (1972)

Take a greasy whore

And a rollin’ dance floor

It’s got your head spinning round!

Why is that dance floor rolling?  It’s probably due to the influence of all the illegal drugs mentioned in the song – which include cocaine, “Chicago Green” and “Durban Poison” (two potent marijuana strains), “Red Lebanese” and “Black Nepalese” (two varieties of hashish), and “Newcastle Brown” (not the well-known British ale, but rather a type of heroin). 

The singer is lucky he only had to spend 30 days in the hole.

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This week at one of my weekly trivia competitions, we were asked to identify the current celebrity spokesperson for Bush’s baked beans.

That question stumped my team.  We all remembered the Bush’s TV commercials that featured Duke the golden retriever (whose real name was actually Sam).  But we agreed that you couldn’t really consider a dog to be a “celebrity spokesperson.”

One of my teammates suggested we go with Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes as our answer.  Mahomes is best-known for his State Farm insurance commercials (some of which feature teammate Travis Kelce or coach Andy Reid), but he’s also endorsed Subway restaurants, Head and Shoulders shampoo, Hunt’s ketchup, and many other products.

“Sure, let’s go with him.” I told my teammates.  “I don’t remember ever seeing Mahomes in a Bush’s ad, but he is everywhere on TV – he’s the new Peyton Manning.”  (Hall of Fame QB Manning has been ubiquitous in TV commercials since retiring, shilling for Nationwide insurance, Direct TV, Buick, Papa John’s, Mastercard, Gatorade, Oreos, and many other brands.)

New Bush’s “Bean Ambassador” Peyton Manning

It turns out we were wrong – Patrick Mahomes is not the celebrity spokesman for Bush’s baked beans. PEYTON MANNING is the celebrity spokesman for Bush’s baked beans.

(Bet you didn’t see that one coming.)

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Do Bush’s baked beans have anything to do with this year’s penultimate inductee into the 2 OR 3 LINES “GOLDEN DECADE” ALBUM TRACKS HALL OF FAME?  Of course not.  But it was too good a story to hold on to until November.

Click here to listen to Humble Pie’s “30 Days in the Hole,” the sleaziest record of all time.  (Every time I hear it, I feel like I need to take a shower.)

Click here to buy that recording from Amazon.