I am a little tin soldier
That wants to jump into your fire
Thanks to Dunkin’ Donuts, I’m eating a lot healthier these days.
You look confused by that statement. Let me explain.
You see, I’ve been stopping at the local Dunkin’ every Saturday morning before going to my local farmers market for some time. (One donut a week can’t hurt you – right?)
Last year, I began to occasionally visit a Dunkin’ before going to the gym for one of my thrice-weekly workouts. But pretty soon, I was stopping before each of those trips to the gym.
Add in the odd Dunkin’ stop with my grandkids and I was up to an average of five maple-frosted donuts per week – each accompanied by a medium coffee with cream and sugar.
I knew that couldn’t be good for my waistline. And you know what they say – if you don’t watch your figure, no one else will either!
* * * * *
Starting this week, I’m back to my once-a-week Dunkin’ stops on the way to the farmers market.
I’ve turned over that new leaf (1) because I have self-control out the wazoo, and (2) because I’m a cheap bast*rd.
I’m a member in good standing of the “Dunkin’ Rewards” program, which entitled me to get a donut for a buck each time I purchased a medium coffee online.
But when I opened the Dunkin’ app this week before heading to the gym and entered my usual order, I noticed that it cost a lot more than I was used to paying.
It turns out that Dunkin’ has stopped offering the donut-for-a-dollar promotion to its “Dunkin’ Rewards” members. (The second Dunkin’ Donuts customer service representative I spoke to on the phone came clean about that being a decision made at the corporate level. The first one had blamed local store owners for the price increase – which was patently false.) Instead of getting a donut for a buck, I was now going to be charged the regular donut price of $1.99.
Ben Affleck: another reason to eschew donuts from Dunkin’ |
“No siree Bob!” I said to myself. Starting this week, I am reverting to my old pattern of once-weekly Dunkin’ visits, eschewing stops at any of the multitude of Dunkin’ outlets in my neighborhood when traveling to my gym.
* * * * *
Will this result in more visits to my local McDonald’s for a sausage-and-egg McMuffin and a Dr. Pepper? That’s not only a much more satisfying meal than a donut and coffee but also costs slightly less money – which is a win-win if I ever did see one.
My McDonald’s visits may increase in frequency somewhat, but not nearly as much as the number of my Dunkin’ Donuts purchases will decrease.
My standard breakfast will now be a glass of Sunsweet light plum juice (a/k/a/ “nature’s broom.”). That’s a better choice for my waistline and for my bank account (especially given that I can now obtain that elixir at my local grocery store rather than paying twice as much for shipments from Walmart).
* * * * *
Back in the day, I would have labored mightily to match this post with a record that mentioned Dunkin’ Donuts or donuts in general . . . even if that record sucked.
But nowadays 2 or 3 lines posts usually feature really good records – even if those records have little or no connection with the subject matter of those posts. “Tin Soldier” has nothing to do with donuts, but it’s a really good record – despite being a bit of a hot mess – and that’s why I’m featuring it in today’s post.
The Small Faces were never big in the U.S., but they were highly respected and very successful in the UK – it wouldn’t be a stretch to rank them right up there with the Who. (By coincidence, Kenny Jones replaced the great Keith Moon as the Who’s drummer after Moon died of a drug overdose.)
“Tin Soldier” was written by Steve Marriott. After he quit the band in 1969 to join Peter Frampton in Humble Pie, the remaining Small Faces hooked up with Rod Stewart and Ronnie Wood and renamed themselves the Faces.
Click here to listen to “Tin Soldier.”
Click here to buy that recording from Amazon.
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