R.E.M. – "Crush With Eyeliner" (1994)

She’s a sad tomato

She’s three miles of bad road

The best TV series I watched last year was The Bridge, a Swedish-Danish police series that kicks off with the discovery of a dead body that’s been placed precisely on the border between the two countries.  (I think the head is in Sweden and the *ss is in Denmark, but it might be vice versa.)

The bridge from The Bridge

The Bridge has inspired no fewer than five remakes – one set in the US/Mexico, one in Germany/Austria, one in France/the UK, one in Russia/Estonia, and one in Malaysia/Singapore.   I’m currently watching Pagan’s Peak, which is the German/Austrian remake – it’s very good, although the main female character in that show is no match for the Saga Norén, the Swedish detective in the original The Bridge, who is portrayed by Sofia Helin.

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Saga Norén may be my favorite TV character ever.  Her only real competition for the top spot in my personal rankings is Homeland’s Carrie Mathison, who is played by Claire Danes.

Saga is the most unfiltered character you’ll ever see on TV.  She has been described as “socially awkward, blunt, and brilliant.”  (Some believe she is autistic, or has Asperger’s syndrome.)

Sofia Helin as Saga Norén

Just a few minutes into the first episode of the show, Saga – wearing her iconic leather pants and bovver boots – strolls into the police station where she works, sniffs her underarms, and peels off her top.  She stands in the crowded office in only her bra while looking through her desk drawers for a fresher-smelling T-shirt.  While this is happening, her colleagues – especially her male colleagues – gape at her.

If one of her colleagues were to tell her that she shouldn’t take her shirt off in the office, Saga wouldn’t understand why that was a problem.

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Saga doesn’t traffic in mixed signals when she meets a man.  Here’s an exchange that takes place between Saga and a potential swain in a bar:

Man: Can I buy you a drink?

Saga: No.

Man: OK.  (Man starts to walk away.)

Saga: Why are you walking away?  I just didn’t want a drink.

Man: OK.

Saga: Do you want to have sex at my place?

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There’s an interesting article about Saga and other “potent yet dysfunctional” female TV detectives in the European Journal of Scandinavian Studies.  (You can click here if you’d like to read it.)

From that article:

One of the interesting things about these female detectives is that they differ from typical representations of women in film. They seem to be enrolled in a constant struggle between a stereotyped masculine potency, on the one hand, that lead us to think of them as disguised men . . . and shameful dysfunctionalities on the other. . . 

Masculine potency, female dysfunctionality –
together in one pair of leather pants 

The female detective functions extremely well at her job as detective while being inadequate and maladjusted when it comes to other areas, mainly in relation to communicative, social and emotional skills.  

Saga and the other characters discussed in the article don’t do relationships well, and they aren’t very good mothers.  

There are plenty of male detectives whose personal lives are disasters because they are obsessed with solving crimes.  We don’t necessarily condone men who give a higher priority to their jobs than to parenting, but we’re much harder on women who aren’t good mothers.

Sarah Lund of The Killing wanted to be a mother, and feels terribly guilty that she wasn’t a good one.  Saga, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to have a maternal bone in her body.  When a colleague asks her if she ever wanted to have children, her answer is characteristically blunt:

I'm not interested in having children.  It would interfere with my work too much, and I doubt I could handle it.

I’m not sure if I feel sorrier for Sarah or Saga.  Sarah is a relatively normal person who has problems – it’s easy to identify with her because most of us know people like her.

By contrast, Saga is profoundly not normal.  That usually doesn’t seem to bother her.  But occasionally Saga realizes that there’s a huge emotional void in her life.  When that happens, it’s heartbreaking to observe.

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I’m not a big R.E.M. fan, but today’s featured record was inspired by the New York Dolls and features Sonic Youth’s Thurston Moore on background vocals.  The Dolls and Sonic Youth are among my very favorite favorite groups, so maybe that explains why I love “Crush With Eyeliner.”

Click here to watch the official music video for this record, which was directed by Spike Jonze.

Click here to buy the record from Amazon.