Young Rascals – "Find Somebody" (1967)

You shouldn’t wear the face of sorrow

You must take ups and downs in stride

A brighter day might come tomorrow

Beth Ann Tieche is a former elementary school teacher and principal who is now a stay-at-home mom and social media influencer.  Click here to visit her parenting blog, Low Lift Fun.

Beth Ann Tieche

Beth Ann has 142,000 followers on Instagram.  I’m not one of them, but one of her posts – titled “A Dozen Things to Say to Your Kids at Bedtime” – showed up on my Instagram feed recently.

Here are my favorite items – some are paraphrased – from that list:

– “I never expect you to be perfect.”

– “You worked so hard on _____ today.”

– “You’re exactly what this family needs.”

– “I noticed your kind heart when you _____.”

– “Do you have a question about anything that happened today?”

– “You can always tell me or ask me anything.”

– “Nothing could change how much I love you.”

Beth Ann wrote these for parents, but I don’t see why they wouldn’t work just as well for grandparents.  

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One of the friends I shared Beth Ann’s Instagram post with said that it would be nice if someone created a similar list of things to say to your spouse or significant other at bedtime.

I think that’s a great idea.  But after reading the list a second time, I’m not sure that much needs to be changed – I think the lines quoted above are just as apropos for spouses and significant others as they are for children and grandchildren.

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“Find Somebody” was released on the Young Rascals Groovin’ album in 1967, but I only became acquainted with it recently.

I think “Find Somebody” had the potential to be a great record, but it didn’t quite get there.

It has a psychedelic feel that’s a nice contrast to the blue-eyed soul sound of most Rascals records.  

But it takes a little too long to get going.  And it leans a little too heavily on the five-note guitar figure that’s played during the verses – it’s repeated over and over, and eventually becomes a little annoying.

Having said that, I think there’s a lot to like about this record.

Click here to listen to “Find Somebody.”

Click here to buy the song from Amazon.

Public Image Ltd – "Rise" (1986)

I could be wrong

I could be right

Last year, I gave a shout-out to the anonymous 2or3lines staffer who gets up early to write inspirational messages on the bike trail I ride most Saturdays.

On the Paint Branch Trail
in College Park, MD

That dedicated employee is still at it.  Here are a few of the messages he or she left on the trail last week.  (I say “he or she,” but I’m guessing it’s a “she” because 2or3lines has attracted a number of unusually devoted female staffers. )

(Very true.  We do 💜 bikes!)

(I may not show up for you, but I will always show up for me!)

(Like Maino, I go hard forever.  That’s just how I’m designed!)

(I second that emotion!  I am pretty f*cking amazing!)

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John Lydon – also known as Johnny Rotten – is best known as the lead singer of the Sex Pistols.  He formed Public Image Ltd after the Sex Pistols broke up in 1978. 

Public Image Ltd released “Rise” on its Album album in 1986.  

Click here to listen to “Rise.”

Soundgarden – "Burden in My Hand" (1996)

Close your eyes 

And bow your head

I need a little sympathy

Frankly, I’d be happier if 2 or 3 lines was still a one-man operation.  As Napoleon famously said, “If you want something done, do it yourself!”  (Of course, he said it in French instead of English.)

But when you run a wildly successful little blog like I do, it’s impossible to do everything that needs to be done all by yourself – you simply have to delegate some of the work to others.

For example, I used to match up my freshly-laundered socks myself.  But I decided long ago that I could delegate that job to someone else.

Unfortunately, my original delegatee just paired my socks at random – she paid no attention to the color of the individual socks.  

As I’m sure you know, socks eventually fade after repeated trips through the washing machine and dryer.  If you match up an almost-new black sock with one that has been washed and dried a number of times, you’re going to end up wearing a pair consisting of one deep black sock and one that has faded to a dark gray.

You simply can’t match a sock from the top row in the photo below with one from the bottom row!

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Earlier this year, I let my original sock matcher go.  I haven’t found a replacement yet, so I’ve gone back to pairing up my socks myself.  But I continue believe that this is a task that can be delegated, and I’m looking around for the right person for the job.

Maybe that person is you – if you think it might be, please e-mail me at 2or3lines@gmail.com.  You’ll receive a prompt response – not from me personally, of course, but from the person to whom I’ve delegated the job of responding to e-mails.

One other thing.  Sock matching is not a full-time job, of course.  If you are hired as my sock matcher, you will be expected to perform other tasks – for example, keeping my pantry stocked with Dr. Pepper:

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“Burden in My Hand” – which was written by Soundgarden’s immensely gifted lead singer, Chris Cornell – was released in 1996 on Soundgarden’s fifth studio album, Down on the Upside.

The song appears to be about a man who murders a woman he is in a relationship with and leaves her in the desert.  Soundgarden’s lead guitarist, Kim Thayll, once said the song was “the ‘Hey Joe’ of the nineties.”

Cornell later had this to say about “Burden in My Hand”:

That was a song that really came from the guitar itself.  It was mostly like the guitar was dictating what the lyrics should be and creating a mental image.  The mental image was this sort of destitute guy. . . . He’s sort of coming to grips with what had happened and not necessarily feeling particularly emotional about it either way.  He’s trying to figure out how he would stand up and put one foot in front of the other – or not – and the song never really resolves any of that.  It’s just that moment of somebody sitting in the dirt. 

Cornell died in a Detroit hotel room in 2017.  The official cause of death was suicide by hanging.

The late Chris Cornell

Click here to listen to “Burden in My Hand.”  Why did I decide to feature such a dark record in a silly post about matching socks?  That’s a good question.

Click here to buy the record from Amazon.

Sir Mix-a-Lot – "Baby Got Back" (1992)

My homeboys tried to warn me

But that butt you got

Makes me so horny!

Enough Said is a 2013 movie starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus and James Gandolfini as two divorced people who meet at a party and start dating each other.

Nicole Holofcener, who directed Enough Said as well as 2023’s You Hurt My Feelings (which also starred Louis-Dreyfus) got her start in the film biz working for Woody Allen, and her movies are not dissimilar to Allen’s.  

She not only directed Enough Said but also wrote the screenplay, which received almost universal praise from critics.

Holofcener was commended by one reviewer for writing characters “with sufficient depth and wisdom that . . . the actors never seem to be movie stars impersonating people.  Rather, they disappear into the vulnerable and self-doubting characters they play without a hint of the preening vanity that so often causes cinematic performances to seem forced and shallow.”

“Line for line, scene for scene, it is one of the best-written American film comedies in recent memory,” said another critic.  “There’s no one making films right now who writes that kind of dialogue better than Holofcener,” said another.

Not everyone loved Enough Said.  For example, one reviewer found the romantic pairing of Gandolfini with Louis-Dreyfus “implausible” – as did I.

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The two divorced people whose relationship is the focus of Enough Said – Eva (Louis-Dreyfus) and Albert (Gandolfini) – are introduced to each other at a party.  

Their initial meeting is quite awkward because the mutual friend who introduces them immediately blabs to Albert that “Eva was just telling me there are no men at this party that she’s attracted to” – a statement that of course applies to Albert.

Despite that, Albert asks the friend for Eva’s number:

Eva’s friend’s wife: Some guy you met at the party wants your number.

Eva: He’s kind of fat.  He’s got this big belly.

But Eva must have had a change of heart after that conversation because the next scene shows her and Albert killing time waiting for a table at a restaurant by discussing The Real Housewives of Orange County:

Eva: I couldn’t believe what I was watching.  No brains, and the fake cheekbones, and the fake boobs.  Do you like fake boobs?

Albert: No, I like real boobs.

Eva: I’ve got real boobs.

Albert: That’s working out for us, then.

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Albert later pays Eva a compliment, and is given a compliment – sort of – in return:

Albert: You have lovely hands.

 

Eva: You have nice hands, too – kinds of like paddles.

(She’s out of your league, Albert!)

Albert drives Eva back to her hom at the end of the evening.  As they are sitting in his car saying good night, he tries to kiss her.  But she demurs:

Eva: Uh, I’m not sure.  I mean, maybe.

Albert: I understand.

Eva: I mean, I’m just not sure.

Albert awkwardly extends his hand to shake hers, and then this odd exchange takes place:  

Eva: I like your paddles. 

  

Albert (as she is exiting the car): I like your ass.

Eva: Oh, my God . . . well, thank you.

Despite this inauspicious beginning, Eva accepts an invitation to have a second date with Albert and ends up spending the night with him.

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I have a number of problems with Holofcener’s script:

1. Would the very overweight Albert really invite the very hot Eva out after learning that she doesn’t think any of the men at the party – least of all Albert – are attractive?  (I seriously doubt it.)

2. Assuming he does invite her out, would she really accept his invitation given that the first words out of her mouth when his name is mentioned are “He’s kind of fat”?  (That seems unlikely.)

3. Assuming they actually go out, would she really ask if he likes fake boobs and then note that she has real ones?  (I can’t imagine that she would.)

4. After his very awkward and unsuccessful attempt to kiss her goodnight, would he really say “I like your ass” as she got out of his car at the end of the evening?  (Maybe if he had had too much to drink at dinner, but probably not if he hadn’t.)

5. And if he did say that, would she not only accept his invitation for a second date but also go to bed with him at the end of the evening?  (What do you say, ladies?  A guy you don’t find attractive but decide to go to dinner with for some reason tries to kiss you.  When you turn him down and are getting out of the car to walk to your front door, he says “I like your ass.”  Would you really not only go out on a second date with him, but also hop in the sack with him at the end of that date?)

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My first thought about the Enough Said screenplay was that Holofcener doesn’t have a clue about men.  But after thinking some more about it, I’m not sure she has a clue about women either.  

I don’t think you can describe a movie that purports to be realistic  as “one of the best-written American film comedies in recent memory” unless the characters’ behavior is a tad more plausible than the behavior of Eva and Albert in Enough Said. 

I won’t spoil Enough Said for you by revealing what happens between Albert and Eva after their second date, but I don’t think the rest of her screenplay is any more convincing than the part I just described.

You may have a completely different opinion of the Enough Said screenplay than I do.  If so, that’s fine – I respect the opinions of all my loyal readers, even when they are obviously wrong.

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Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” was the second-best-selling song of 1992, and spent five weeks holding down the top spot of the Billboard “Hot 100” chart.

Did you know that Sarah Palin performed the song on Fox’s The Masked Singer in 2019 while dressed as a bear?

Click here to watch the official music video for “Baby Got Back.”

Click here to buy the record from Amazon.

   

New Radicals – "You Get What You Give" (1998)

You’re in harm’s way

I’m right behind

Tootsie was a 1982 film that starred Dustin Hoffman as an unsuccessful actor who disguises himself as a woman to try out for a role on a soap opera.  He gets the part and quickly becomes a big star.

My main problem with the movie was that Hoffman’s character broke up with the character portrayed by Teri Garr in order to pursue Jessica Lange’s character.

Teri Garr and Dustin Hoffman

If you ask me, any man who would pick Jessica Lange over Teri Garr is an idiot.

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I had a somewhat similar reaction to Enough Said, a 2013 movie starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus and James Gandolfini as two divorced people who meet at a party and start dating each other.

I’m sorry, but I don’t think that Gandolfini – a guy who seemed to be more than a little shell-shocked by the nasty way his ex-wife had treated him – would have had the nerve to ask out a woman as attractive as Julia Louis-Dreyfus after one very brief meeting.

It would have helped if the director had cast Catherine Keener (who portrayed Gandolfini’s ex-wife) in Louis-Dreyfus’s role.  I don’t think Gandolfini would have been intimidated by Keener, who generally comes across as somewhat vulnerable and a little unsure of herself – making her a much better match for Gandolfini’s somewhat insecure character.

Catherine Keener

The suits who greenlighted the movie probably insisted on having Louis-Dreyfus in the starring role and Keener assigned to a lesser part because they thought Louis-Dreyfus was hotter.

Likewise, the suits behind Tootsie presumably thought Jessica Lange circa 1982 was more desirable to men than Teri Garr.

Suits are stupid.

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Gregg Alexander and Danielle Brisebois formed the New Radicals in 1997.  The duo released only one album – Maybe You’ve Been Brainwashed, Too – before breaking up, but continued to write songs together.

Brisebois had quite a career as a child actress.  She was a member of the original Broadway cast of Annie, and later appeared in All in the Family and Archie Bunker’s Place as the young daughter of Edith Bunker’s alcoholic cousin, who was taken in by the Bunkers when her father abandoned her.

Click here to watch the official music video for the song, which was filmed at the Staten Island Mall.

Click here to buy the song from Amazon.

Donnie Iris – "Ah! Leah!" (1980)

It ain’t no use

We’re headed for disaster!

I’m sure you’ve been wondering what 2 or 3 lines thinks about two of the biggest movies of the summer: Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning and Oppenheimer.  

If you want to know what I think of Barbie, don’t hold your breath.  That’s a girls’ movie, and I’m a boy.  

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Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning is two hours and 45 minutes of non-stop car chases, train wrecks, and other “whammies.”  (In Hollywood lingo, “whammies” are the scenes in an action movie where something big crashes or blows up, hopefully killing a number of bad guys.) 

I won’t say that sitting through all those whammies was pleasant, but I survived the experience – albeit with ringing ears and jangled nerves.

What I couldn’t handle was the surprise (to me) revelation that Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning was part one of a two-part movie.  It seems that we’re expected to wait almost a year to learn what happens to Tom Cruise and the sunken Russian submarine and that strange cruciform key because part two of the movie isn’t scheduled to be released until June 2024.  

I would have NEVER paid good money to see Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning if I had known it was a to-be-continued movie.  

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Let’s now turn our attention to Oppenheimer, which has been lionized by the critics like no other movie I can remember.

While Oppenheimer certainly isn’t a bad movie, I think it has been grossly overrated.  

I had a lot of problems with the movie.  For one thing, about half the dialogue was unintelligible.  (I really should have gone to a showing with open captions.)

But my main problem with Oppenheimer is that – despite the fact that it is three hours long – it wasn’t nearly long enough to tell the whole Oppenheimer story.  

I walked out of the movie with a lot more questions than answers.  I wish Oppenheimer had been an eight- or ten-hour series instead of a three-hour movie.

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Donnie Iris (who was born Dominic Ierace in New Castle, Pennsylvania in 1943) was the man behind one of my favorite one-hit wonders, The Jaggerz – whose 1970 single, “The Rapper,” made it all the way to #2 on the Billboard “Hot 100.”

Iris recorded today’s featured song a decade later.  It was a top-30 single, but I don’t remember ever hearing it until it started popping up on Sirius/XM a couple of years ago.  

Donnie Iris

From Wikipedia:

A 2008 report by The Beaver County Times revealed that the Leah [who inspired the record’s title] was Leah Frankford of Chippewa Township, Pennsylvania, near Iris’s hometown . . . .  Frankford had moved to Florida just before The Jaggerz hit it big, and got confirmation from Iris himself after Iris’s girlfriend by chance became friends with Frankford’s daughter through Iris’s mortgage business.  Frankford had moved back to Beaver County by the time the song came out, and always noticed many girls at her two daughters’ softball games also named Leah.

Got it?

Click here to listen to “Ah! Leah!”

Click here to order the record from Amazon.

Dr. Feelgood – "I'm a Hog for You" (1975)

One little piggy ate a pizza

One piggy ate potato chips

In the previous 2 or 3 lines post, I recommended that you watch “Joan Is Awful” – which is the first episode of the sixth season of the Netflix series Black Mirror.

I thought “Joan Is Awful” was so good that I immediately dialed up episode one of season one of Black Mirror, which is titled “The National Anthem.”

In that episode, a popular young British princess is kidnapped by a madman who threatens to execute her unless the country’s prime minister commits an unspeakable act.

“What’s the unspeakable act?” you ask.

Are you not listening?  I said the act was unspeakable.  Do you not know what “unspeakable” means?  

Sigh. . . . I guess I might as well tell you – you’ll just do a Google search if I don’t.

The kidnapper demands that the prime minister – a pleasant-looking middle-aged politician who has a pleasant-looking middle-aged wife – have sex with a pig on live television:

Eeeeewww!

Enough said about “The National Anthem,” which I do NOT recommend you watch.  (Most of you will watch it anyway.  But if I tell you not to, my conscience is clear.)

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Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller wrote a lot of songs for the Coasters – among them “Young Blood,” “Yakety Yak,” “Charlie Brown,” “Along Came Jones,” and “Poison Ivy” (all of which were top ten hits).  

“I’m a Hog for You” was another Lieber-Stoller song originally recorded by the Coasters, but it barely cracked the top 40 when it was released in 1959. 

Click here to listen to Dr. Feelgood’s cover of “I’m a Hog for You.”

Click here to order that record from Amazon.