Alice Cooper – "Under My Wheels" (1971)

I’m driving in my car now

I got you under my wheels

It’s certainly possible than I will succumb to cancer or a heart attack some day.  But I’m thinking that I’m probably going to die while riding my bicycle.

I do a lot of bike riding.  I try to stay off the streets – who wants to ride on a busy street with cars zooming past you like you don’t even exist? 

But even if you’re riding on a dedicated bike path, you’re probably going to have to cross a street sooner or later – which means you’re going to have encounters with cars.

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Bicycles generally have the right of way when crossing an intersection – especially when there is a zebra crossing or a sign directing automobile drivers to yield to bike riders.  But you can’t always trust drivers.

Good luck, bicycle guy!

Almost exactly a year ago, I was using a zebra crossing – that is, a crosswalk marked with broad white stripes – to cross a street.  The car entering the intersection from my left slowed down, and I assumed he was going to stop and yield the right of way, as he was required to do.  But the bast*rd never saw me – he looked to the left, but never to the right . . . which is where I was.  Just as I started to enter the crosswalk from and pass in front of his car, he hit the gas, and ran right into me.

Fortunately for me, he wasn’t going very fast.  So while he knocked me off my bike, he didn’t injure me.  He didn’t even damage my bike – I hopped back on it and continued on my merry way . . . after screaming obscenities at the very apologetic driver for five minutes or so.

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According to the federal government, about 1000 cyclists die annually as a result of being hit by cars.  Another 130,000 are injured.

Did you know that male bicyclists are six times more likely to die in a collision with an automobile than female bike riders?

I’m guessing I’m about sixty times more likely to die than the typical female rider.

That’s because I expect drivers to be careful and follow the rules – meaning yielding the right of way to me.

So when I approach a zebra crossing with a sign telling drivers to stop for bikers, I often don’t stop before entering that crosswalk – I keep going, assuming any oncoming drivers to stop for me.

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That’s a big mistake.  A fair number of drivers are so clueless that they are completely unaware they are approaching a zebra crossing – meaning that if I don’t yield to them, they will run me down.

It will probably come as no surprise to you when I tell you that a bike rider usually comes out of a collision with an automobile in much worse shape than the driver of the car.

This white bicycle marks the spot
where a cyclist was killed while riding
on a bike trail that I ride on regularly

So the only smart thing for me to do when I’m about to cross a street is to stop dead in my tracks and make damn sure that any car that’s in the vicinity stops and allows me to cross safely. 

For some reason, I find it very hard to do that.

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“Under My Wheels” was the first single released from Alice Cooper’s 1971 album, Killer.  It peaked at #59 on the Billboard “Hot 100.”

(Only #59?  Really?  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?)

Click here to listen to “Under My Wheels.”

Click here to buy the record from Amazon.