Black Flag – "TV Party" (1981)

We’ve got nothing better to do

Than watch TV

And have a couple of brews

Tomorrow, the sun will rise in Appleton, Wisconsin – which is the largest city in Outagamie County – at 7:21 AM and set at 4:14 PM.

That works out to a daylength of just under nine hours – meaning it will be dark for almost fifteen hours there tomorrow.

On a typical December 14, the temperature never gets above the freezing mark – the average high for that date is 31º F., and the average low is 17º F.

December is the second-cloudiest month of the year – it’s overcast or mostly cloudy over 55% of the time in December.

Let’s review the bidding.  If you’re in Outagamie County tomorrow, you can expect about fifteen hours of darkness, nine hours of clouds – and 24 hours of freezing temperatures.

No wonder Outagamie County is the drunkest county in the United States.

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That statement is based on the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the University of Wisconsin Population Health Institute joint program’s 2021 County Health Rankings & Roadmaps report. 

According to that report, 31% of adult residents in Outagamie County said that they had engaged in either binge drinking or excessive drinking in the previous 30 days.

If 31% admitted to excessive drinking, you know that a lot more than that actually drank excessively.

If you’re a glass-half-full kind of person, the good news is that only 32% of vehicle-related deaths in Outagamie County involved alcohol – in some counties, the alcohol-related driving death rate is twice as high.  

So at least some of the good folks of Outagamie County are smart enough to call a cab when they’ve had a snootful.

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It turns out that Outagamie County is not that different than the rest of Wisconsin when it comes to excessive drinking.

In fact, all eleven of the drunkest counties in the U.S. – and 41 of the top 50 counties in the excessive-drinking rankings – are in Wisconsin.

What the hell is it about living in Wisconsin that makes people drink so much?  It’s just as cold and dark in Minnesota as it is in Wisconsin, but only one Minnesota county – Le Sueur County, which was formerly the home of the Green Giant Company – made the top 50.  

Of course, Minnesotans are notorious liars when it comes to confessing their sinful behaviors.

After Wisconsin, Iowa is the drunkest state in the county, with six counties on the list.  North Dakota and South Dakota have one county each among the 50 drunkest counties.

Shockingly, Alaska is not represented on the drunkest-county list.  It may be that most heavy drinkers in Alaska fall into snowbanks and freeze to death or get eaten by bears, and so are unable to fill out their excessive-drinking survey questionnaires.

Also, Alaska subsidizes internet access – it’s free to needy Alaskans.  So a lot of guys in Alaska may be staying home and watching porn instead of going out and getting hammered. 

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Black Flag was a hardcore punk band that was formed in Hermosa Beach (a small beachfront city just south of Los Angeles) in 1976 and stayed together for a decade.  

“TV Party” was released in 1981 on Black Flag’s debut album, Damaged.  The lead singer on that record was Henry Rollins – a 20-year-old fan of the group from Washington, DC – who had joined Black Flag only weeks before Damaged was recorded.

Henry Rollins

Click here to watch to the truly remarkable music video for “TV Party.”

Click here to buy that recording from Amazon.