Kanye West (ft. Jamie Foxx) – "Gold Digger' (2004)

Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger

But she ain't messin' with no broke n*ggas

  

If you listen to a lot of news/talk radio, you’ve probably heard the commercials for TermProvider, Inc. – also known as “Big Lou Insurance” – which claims to be one of the largest term life insurance brokers in the country.

Big Lou’s message is quite different from the typical life insurance advertisement.  His target is the middle-aged guy who’s put on more than a few pounds and is taking meds for elevated cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.  At some point, he’s traded in his first wife for a newer model, who is afraid that he’s going to drop dead of a heart attack or a stroke any day.  So she’s been nagging him to pony up for a big-ass life insurance policy that will allow her to continue to live in the manner to which she’s become accustomed if he suddenly keels over.

Here’s one of Big Lou’s charmingly honest radio spots:

Do you have three ex-wives, and your current trophy wife wants a life insurance policy three times the size of the policies you had to purchase for your previous mistakes?  If so, you need to call Big Lou. . . . Big Lou is intimately familiar with your problems, and if you’re 50 or 60 years old and in reasonably good health, a one million dollar policy should only cost about a hundred to two hundred dollars per month.  Big Lou may have a solution for your previous policies as well.  You may even save enough to lighten the load on your new one million dollar policy.  Remember, call Big Lou.  He’s like you . . . except he’s only on number two.  

(You can click here to hear that radio spot.)

Here's a Big Lou ad that's aimed at trophy wives: 

Ladies, is his waistline expanding? . . . If so, you need to call Big Lou.  Big Lou can fit him into a term life policy even if he is a bit porky, has type II diabetes, or has high blood pressure. . . . Big Lou can show you affordable rates for one million in coverage – instantly making your man a bit more attractive, if you know what I mean.  

(Sounds like the honeymoon is over, pal.)

*     *     *     *     *

A word of advice to all you trophy wives whose hubbies buy insurance from Big Lou: be patient!

I understand that it’s no fun when Mr. Expanding Waistline has one drink too many and gets all frisky.  It will be tempting to take matters into your own hands rather than biding your time.  But the spouse is always suspect number one when there’s a murder.  

Better to keep feeding him big steaks and baked potatoes with plenty of butter and sour cream, and saying “You stay on the couch and watch your football game, honey – I'll bring you another beer.”  Pretty soon, nature will take its course.

Even if you’re a few years past your prime when that heart attack occurs, you’ll still be able to attract a virile young boy toy with the help of that million-dollar insurance payout.

*     *     *     *     *

Kanye West’s “Gold Digger” (which features Jamie Foxx) is a match for Big Lou’s radio commercials when it comes to cynicism.    

West originally intended the song for the female rapper Shawnna, and the lyrics were written from a female’s point of view:

I'm not sayin' I'm a gold digger

But I ain't messin' with no broke n*ggas  

But Shawnna decided not to record the song, so West rewrote the lyrics to make them more suitable for a male singer.

“Gold Digger” was a huge hit.  It sold a million digital downloads in only seven weeks, and quickly rose to #1 on the Billboard “Hot 100” in 2004.  

Here’s the Hype Williams-directed music video for “Gold Digger” (which features the "clean" version of the song):

Click below to buy the explicit version of the song from Amazon: