Friday, April 28, 2017

Argent – "Liar" (1970)

Hanging on every word
Believing the things I heard
Being a fool

The internet is so full of sh*t that its eyes are brown.

(Do you write “internet” or “Internet”?  The Oxford English Dictionary says that the word is a proper noun that should be capitalized.  But commonly used proper nouns sometimes lose their initial capital letters over time, and that seems to be happening with Internet/internet.  For example, the New York Times and Associated Press recently decapitalized the word.)

Here are some ludicrous but supposedly factual statements you can find on the internet:

– “Albert Einstein did not talk until he was three years old, when he told his parents that his food was too hot.”  (They asked why he never spoke before, and he said it was because everything had been in order until that moment.)  

Einstein as a child
– “The average female cannot keep a secret for longer than 47 hours and 15 minutes.”

– “Students at a Chinese university are required to write out 1000 emojis every time they are late for class.”

– “The familiar Olympic torch relay was actually invented by the Nazi organizers of the 1936 Berlin Olympics.”
Lighting the torch at the 1936 Olympics
– “The word ‘Gorilla’ comes from the Greek name given to an African tribe of hairy women.”

– “Researchers discovered cannabis on several fragments of pipes excavated from Shakespeare’s garden.”

– “The little paper stickers on fresh apples, bananas, and other fruits are edible.”

Edible fruit stickers
– “The German ophthalmologist who invented contact lenses got the idea from popcorn kernels stuck in his teeth.”  (By the way, two-thirds of the people who wear contact lenses are females.)

Finally, my favorite:

– “Every human being starts out as an asshole: it’s the first part of the body to form in the womb.”

*     *     *     *     *

Well, it turns out that the joke’s on me.  All of those statements ARE true, with one exception: most sources report that Einstein didn’t start speaking until he was four.  (That thing about him finally being inspired to speak because his food was too hot is total crap, of course.) 

*     *     *     *     *

You’ll probably more familiar with Three Dog Night’s 1971 recording of “Liar” (which made it all the way to #7 on the Billboard “Hot 100” chart) that the original recording by Argent, which had been released on that group’s eponymous debut album the previous year.

“Liar” was written by Russ Ballard, Argent’s lead singer and guitarist.  (Ballard had previously been a member of Unit 4 + 2, whose “Concrete and Clay” topped the British singles chart in 1965.)

Argent was founded by Rod Argent, the keyboardist for the Zombies.  (Don’t tell me that “She’s Not There” isn’t a silly song, because it most definitely is!)

Anyone who hung out with me at Nina’s Green Parrot bar in Galena, Kansas in the summer of 1972 heard Argent’s “Hold Your Head Up” on the jukebox about a zillion times.  

Here’s Argent’s recording of “Liar”:

Click below to buy the song from Amazon:

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