Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young – "Helpless" (1970)

There is a town in north Ontario . . .

And in my mind, I still need a place to go

In the last 2 or 3 lines, I explained that a last-minute business trip to Columbus, Ohio prevented me from voting in the recent presidential election.

Of course, that didn’t prevent me from following the election results on CNN and Fox that night.  

Forget the Super Bowl, forget game 7 of the World Series . . . the election news last Tuesday night was compelling stuff.  We had a close race when something close to a landslide had been predicted, and we had an underdog winner – you couldn’t have scripted it any better than that.  

Did you watch the election night coverage?  If so, WERE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?  

I was so entertained that I stayed up until the wee hours, when the outcome finally became clear.

The 1980 election of Ronald Reagan was the most significant election of my lifetime.  But the 2016 election resulted in the biggest upset by far.  Tell the truth: how many of you saw Trump’s victory coming?

I’m a Republican, and I am most definitely not a fan of Hillary Clinton.  But that doesn't make me a Donald Trump fan.  I would have preferred almost any of the other GOP candidates to him, although I never threatened to move to Canada if Trump won.

Lena Dunham did so threaten at the Matrix Awards in April.  But she soon changed her tune, which was a real shame:

And for those demanding I move to Canada based on something I said when this man seemed like a steak salesman with a long shot at the presidency: stay busy reveling in your new regime.  I will go many places during my lifetime, surrounded by kindreds on a mission to spread justice and light.  

"A mission to spread justice and light"?  Really?  (And people accuse me of narcissism.)   

There were plenty of other celebrities who threatened to leave the U. S. of A. if Trump was victorious on November 8 — including Madonna (who promised to perform oral sex on anyone who voted for Hillary), Lady Gaga (who was seen weeping in her Rolls Royce after Trump’s win), Amy Schumer, Whoopi Goldberg, Barbra Streisand, Jon Stewart, Miley Cyrus, and Chelsea Handler.  

I wouldn't shed any tears if any or all of them did pack up and skedaddle to the Great White North, but I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that none of them will – even though Canada has a lower top income tax bracket than the United States, which would come in mighty handy if you were as rich as those folks are.

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“Helpless” was released on Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young’s 1970 album, Déjà Vu.   It was written by  Neil Young, who was born in Toronto and went to high school in Winnipeg.

Here’s “Helpless”:

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