White Stripes – "I Think I Smell a Rat" (2001)

Oh, I think I smell a rat!

I think I smell a rat!

I was SOOOOO ’cited when I checked the 2 or 3 lines e-mail account tonight and saw this message:

NICKI MINAJ IS FOLLOWING 2 OR 3 LINES ON TWITTER???  Hokey smoke, Bullwinkle! 

The number of my Twitter followers was sure to explode if the legendary Nicki Minaj retweeted or liked one of my tweets.  Social media fame and fortune were within my grasp at last!

Nicki’s photo looked a little odd to me:

The real Nicki Minaj?

You see, Nicki has been mostly a blonde in recent years:

But she’s worn her hair a thousand different ways, so I didn’t think too much about that.

Then I noticed that her Twitter user name was @nickimminaaj.  Why would Nicki Minaj spell her name with an extra “m” and an extra “a”? 

When I went to her Twitter page, I definitely smelled a rat.  "Nicki" had only  about 6000 followers — that's a very small number for such a y-u-g-e star.

The real Nicki Minaj has 20.6 million Twitter followers.  That’s not as many followers as Miley Cyrus (30.8 million followers), or Kim Kardashian West (48.2 million), or Rihanna (66.3 million), or Katy Perry (93.2 million) . . . but it’s still one hell of a lot.

A blonde Kim Kardashian West

Quel disappointment!  I had been punked.  My smile quickly turned upside down.  :-( 

But I’m not giving up on my dream.  I believe that a day will come when I have thousands and thousands of Twitter followers, and that all the readers of 2 or 3 lines will click on my ads regularly.  Oh, what a happy day that will be! 

(Not as happy as the day when we climb those golden stairs and meet those who have gone before – James and John and a million more . . . but still a very happy day.)

On the bright side – and if you know me, you know I'm a glass-half-full kind of guy – what's not to like about having the very fetching @nickimminaaj as a new Twitter follower?

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“I Think I Smell a Rat” was released in 2001 on White Blood Cells, which was the third White Stripes studio album.

Here’s “I Think I Smell a Rat”:

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