Roxy Music – "In Every Dream Home a Heartache" (1973)

In every dream home

A heartache

You think you’ve got problems?

Well, you don’t – at least not like basketball great Michael Jordan has problems.

Have you ever had to reduce the price of a house you were trying to sell by over $14 million?  Michael Jordan had to do that – and his damn house still won’t sell.

Jordan's home 

Jordan listed his suburban Chicago home for sale in 2012.  The original asking price for the 32,683-square-foot house – which has nine bedrooms, 15 full bathrooms, a pool, a tennis court, an indoor basketball court, a putting green, and garage space for 14 cars – was $29 million.

Four years later, the price is only $14,855,000.  (The digits in that price add up to 23, which was Jordan’s uniform number.)  But it still hasn’t sold.  

Entrance to Jordan's home

I don’t know about you, but if I’m going to drop $14 million on a house, it needs to be somewhere a hell of a lot warmer than Chicago.  And it needs to have a good view of the ocean, or some really big mountains, or a hotel where Virgin Atlantic flight attendants lay over between flights.

Click here to see the listing for Jordan’s house.  

And if $14 million is a bit out of your price range, Jordan’s old teammate, Scottie Pippen, is asking only $11.5 million for his Fort Lauderdale home.  It only has six bedrooms and seven full baths, but it’s on the water – there’s plenty of room to park a big-ass yacht if you have one.

Pippin's home (big-ass yacht not included)

Click here to see the listing for Pippen’s house.  It’s 95 days old, so I’m betting Pippen will be cutting the price soon.  (I’d hold out until he drops it to seven figures instead of eight if I were you.)

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“In Every Dream Home a Heartache” was released in 1973 on Roxy Music’s second album, For Your Pleasure.

Roxy Music (circa 1973)

Click here if you’d like to read the lyrics to “In Every Dream Home a Heartache,” which is partly about real estate and partly about an inflatable sex doll:

Inflatable doll

My role is to serve you . . .

I blew up your body

But you blew my mind!

Brian Ferry sings those lyrics over an unsettling D#-F#-F-G# chord progression, which is repeated over and over and over again.  

Here’s “In Every Dream Home a Heartache”:

Click below to buy the song from Amazon: