Dog Eat Dog -- "M.I.L.F." (2006)

Can't believe that body had a baby

Daydreams are drivin' me crazy!

(And then there are the night dreams . . . whoa, Nelly!)

I think most people know what "M.I.L.F." stands for.  But if you don't, just listen to the chorus of this song.

Of course, if you don't know what M.I.L.F. stands for, you might be happier remaining ignorant.  As the poet said,

Where ignorance is bliss

'Tis folly to be wise

That's a good question

According to New York magazine, we are living in a veritable Golden Age for M.I.L.F.s:

It’s the age of the MILF . . . an acronym at once repulsive and appealing.  The MILF is Stacy’s Mom.  She’s the lady in the "Strippercize" class.  She dresses like a Jersey mob wife, her eye tilted into a perpetual wink.  Is she our future?

The evidence surrounds us, from the 25,000-plus MILF-branded mugs and tees on Café Press to a rash of hot-mama books (The Hot Mom’s Handbook, Confessions of a Naughty Mommy, The MILF Anthology), television shows ("Desperate Housewives," "The Real Housewives of Orange County," the forthcoming contest “Hottest Mom in America,” and a pilot in development called "MILF & Cookies"), and, of course, a concomitant porn genre . . . .

There's even a musical comedy about M.I.L.F.s:

Not to mention M.I.L.F.-themed baby clothing.  (Really?)

And then there's this one:

(Some people just shouldn't be allowed to be parents.)

There's no point in pretending that this post is anything other than what it is -- a shameless frat-boy-level stunt that's designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator.  (When it comes to men, the lowest common denominator is pretty damn low.)

But how about walking a mile in my Louboutins before you criticize me?  I'm writing this less than a week before I head out for vacation, and time is of the essence.  I have to make several more deposits in the First National Bank of 2 or 3 lines before I dial up some Bachman-Turner Overdrive on my iPod and roll on down the highway.  

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  I produce three posts a week, come hell or high water -- no more, no less (except in February, of course).  If sticking to that schedule requires me to water down the quality of the product, please pass me the damn H2O.

Ever wonder why D.I.L.F. isn't more popular?

However, I do have enough time to put a little lipstick on this pig by offering up a brief scholarly disquisition on the history of the term M.I.L.F.  (Raise your wrist watches high, boys and girls!)

It appears that the term M.I.L.F. was first used in Internet newsgroups about 20 years ago.  Click here to read one early newsgroup post that uses M.I.L.F.  

That post appeared on the alt.mag.playboy newsgroup in early 1995.  It refers to a pictorial in the February 1995 issue of Playboy titled "Fabulous at 40."  

That was the magazine's 40th anniversary issue, and the editors of Playboy decided to mark the occasion with a pictorial featuring women who were at least 40 years old.

Victoria Jacobs

The woman who appeared on the cover of the magazine that month was Victoria Jacobs.  She was 44 at the time, and a grandmother to boot.

Would you like to know a little more about the toothsome Ms. Jacobs?  I thought you would.  Here's an excerpt from a Los Angeles Times profile of her:

Jacobs separated from her husband 5 1/2 years ago after a 19-year marriage and her boyfriend, Michael, is much younger than she is, she says.

Suddenly, she says, she has a new batch of friends. "My phone does not stop ringing," she says after a short conversation on her cellular.

Jacobs is a health nut.  Before moving to North Hollywood in 1980, she managed a health club . . . and now plans to make a workout tape.  "Younger girls come up to me and say they want to look like me when they're older," she says.

Standing a petite 5-feet-2, she weighs in at 100 pounds. She doesn't eat red meat and most of her diet is fat-free.  "I like to run and work out. Lately, I've been using free weights and I just started kick boxing."

Playboy's February issue is on display on a center table in her living room. She loves plants. The grounds of her house are decorated with lemon, orange and kumquat trees.  "That's me," she says, while listening to an oldies station, as hits from the '50s and '60s blare.  She is a Frank Sinatra fan.

Her home has a seraphic motif -- with angels, crosses and dried flowers decorating most of the walls.  "I love angels and crosses. When I'm at home, I feel like I'm in heaven," says Jacobs, a devout Catholic.  One of her dreams is to travel Europe and visit the Vatican.

And what about people who think it's improper for anyone to appear in Playboy? "As long as it brings me happiness I don't really care," she says. "I just hope it leaves an effect on people my age knowing you can do anything you want to do and you shouldn't have to lie about it."

(Right on, Victoria!  You're an inspiration to 44-year-old grandmothers everywhere!  Except for the part about dating a much younger man.  That's just wrong!)

The term M.I.L.F. became popular after it was used in the 1999 film, American Pie, to refer to the "Stifler's mom" character (portrayed by Jennifer Coolidge).

Finch makes his move on Stifler's mom

Of course, Stifler's mom was not the first great movie M.I.L.F.:

Anne Bancroft in The Graduate

The New York magazine article quoted above closes with this thought-provoking query:

How exactly did a once-taboo erotic fetish become a widespread, culturally sanctioned ideal, a perverse mix of branding and empowerment?  

Thought-provoking, schmought-schmovoking!  I don't have time to get all tangled up in some psychological-sociological-anthropological discussion of the whys and wherefores of the M.I.L.F.  Smokey and the Bandit and me have got a lot of posts to write and a short time to write them, so I need to just put that hammer down and give it hell!

One final note: the Brits refer to a M.I.L.F. as a "yummy mummy."

"M.I.L.F." is from Dog Eat Dog's 2006 album, Walk With Me.  Dog Eat Dog was formed in 1990 in  suburban New Jersey, and was one of the first bands to combine metal with rap.  (Think Anthrax and Linkin Park.)

"M.I.L.F." reminds me a little of Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher."  (Same idea, now that I think about it.)

The very end of the song is a shout-out to the Danzig song, "Mother."  (Dog Eat Dog and Danzig run with the same crowd.  Both bands contributed guitarists to Murphy's Law, whose song "Beer" was featured in the previous 2 or 3 lines.)

Here's "M.I.L.F.":

Click below to buy the song from Amazon: