Little Big Town -- "Little White Church" (2010)

I might be cheap

But I ain't free

I recently visited my hometown -- Joplin, Missouri -- and was pleasantly surprised to discover some truly fabulous nightlife.  Who knew Joplin had so much after-dark action going on?

With the court's permission, let me introduce the People's Exhibit A: the Redings Mill Inn.

The Redings Mill Inn

The Redings Mill Inn has been around since 1872.  I'm not speaking from personal knowledge, of course -- but that's what the sign outside the Inn says.

My mother remembers visiting the Redings Mill Inn back in the forties, when it was a class joint offering fine food and dancing.

I remember the Inn from back in the seventies, when it was called Gene and Darlene's.

Mural of the old Redings Mill
at the Redings Mill Inn

I decided to drop in last month to see what if the place had changed much since my last visit 40 or so years ago.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the old dog had learned some new tricks -- namely, karaoke.

The very first song I heard when I walked in was perhaps my favorite country-and-western song of all time -- David Allan Coe's "You Never Even Called Me By My Name."

That song is famous for the following verse, which proudly incorporates the five fundamental subjects of country-western songs -- namely, momma, trains, trucks, prison, and getting drunk:

I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison

And I went to pick her up in the rain

Before I could get to the station in the pickup truck

She got runned over by a damned old train

Two enthusiastic male karaokers sang the hell out of that bad boy, and I enjoyed every second of their performance:

The festivities were overseen by the Inn's manager, a hail-fellow-well-met type who went by the name Roscoe.  (You are correct -- Roscoe is not her real name.)  That's Roscoe you hear on the video above, replying to each "You never even called me by my name" with a hearty "Dirty rotten motherf*cker!" -- which apparently is her way of calling the singer by his name per his request.

Most of the audience was content to remain seated during the performances, listening intently and sucking down beer like Prohibition was starting in the next hour or two.

But one couple tripped the light fantastic all evening:

Roscoe proved she was someone who had her patrons' best interests at heart when I ordered a draft Budweiser.  "It's $2.50, hon," she said.  "But a pitcher's only $6, so if you're going to have more than a couple, that's your best bet."

An honest innkeeper indeed!  And talented to boot, as I learned when Roscoe took the stage to perform today's featured song, Little Big Town's 2010 hit, "Little White Church":  

When I complimented Roscoe on her performance, she modestly told me that her 21-year-old daughter was a much more talented chanteuse.  The younger Roscoe had performed with her mother earlier that evening, but -- alas and alack -- I had missed the mother-daughter duet. :-(

"Little White Church" is a cautionary tale that all 21-year-olds of the female persuasion should pay close heed to.  Let's face it, ladies -- you've got something we men want, and we'll do just about anything to get it.  

I'm talking about chicken and gravy, of course -- as this verse makes clear:

No more calling me baby

No more loving like crazy

No more chicken and gravy

I ain't gonna have your baby! 

Unless you take her down to the little white church and make an honest women out of her, of course.  But that's the one thing a man won't do -- unless he is truly desperate for that chicken and gravy.

I look forward to enjoying karaoke night at the Redings Mill Inn on my next visit to dear old Joplin.  Perhaps I'll even consume enough adult beverages to take my turn at the microphone.

If I do, I'll need to pick a really dynamite song to perform.  Maybe my loyal readers will help me out by suggesting some songs that would be good choices for my international karaoke debut?

Here's "Little White Church"

Click below to buy the song from Amazon: