Bloodhound Gang -- "Fire Water Burn" (1996)

Yeah, I'm hung like planet Pluto 

Hard to see with the naked eye 

But if I crashed into Uranus 

I would stick it where the sun don't shine 

I can hear thousands of you clicking the "back" button on your computer.  It's just as well, because this post ain't gonna get any better.  (A word to the wise is sufficient.)

A couple of weeks ago, the Google search page took note of the 540th birthday of Nicolaus Copernicus, who was a true Renaissance man.  

Copernicus was a mathematician, a physician, a classics scholar, an artist, a Catholic cleric, a diplomat, an economist, and a doctor of law, and he was fluent in several languages.  But he is remembered today as the world's original heliocentrist -- in other words, the first man to postulate that the sun (not the Earth) was the center of the solar system.

Copernicus

In honor of Copernicus, I went searching for a song about our planetary system to feature on 2 or 3 lines.  "Fire Water Burn" is the song I chose.

Speaking of anniversaries, it was 20 years ago today that the first episode of Beavis and Butt-head aired on MTV.  I don't know if the music video of "Fire Water Burn" was ever featured in an episode of Beavis and Butt-head, but it would have fit right in.

I remember when Beavis and Butt-head made its debut.  It was an appalling show -- gross, sexist, and just plain annoying.  

I have to think that the people behind movies like The Hangover and Step Brothers and Superbad grew up watching Beavis and Butt-head, playing video games, and trying to figure out a way to spy on the cheerleaders when they undressed and took showers after gym class.

I think that most people assumed that no TV show would ever exceed Beavis and Butt-head when it came to plain ol' obnoxiousness. 

But I remember one reviewer stating with great certainty that those people were wrong -- that you could be certain that there were producers and writers holed up in shabby little studios and offices in the lower-rent parts of Hollywood and Burbank, working on projects that would make Beavis and Butt-head look as tame as Leave It to Beaver.  

("Heh, heh, heh . . . he said 'beaver,' Butt-head.")

That reviewer was correct.  Less than five years after Beavis and Butt-head made its debut on MTV, South Park debuted on Comedy Central.  It was much worse.

The Bloodhound Gang is the musical equivalent of South Park.  To call their humor sophomoric is to insult sophomores everywhere.  

One of the group's more successful singles was titled "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo."  (Think about it.) 

Its greatest hits album was titled Show Us Your Hits:  

The band has said that its next studio album will be titled Getting Laid on a School Bus.  One of the songs that will not be on that album is a song called "Yellow Fever," which is about the singer's lust for an Asian woman.  Here are some sample lyrics:

She was "Made in Taiwan"

I said I'm OK with that

Just promise me you'll never try 

To eat my cat

Click this link (if you dare) to see the complete lyrics.

Here's "Fire Water Burn" -- you might want to have the women and children leave the room before you listen to it:

Click here to buy the song from Amazon: