The Girls of FHM -- "I Touch Myself" (2007)

I love myself

I want you to love me

When I'm feelin' down

I want you above me

Yes, I'm pandering to the masses with this post -- I don't deny it.  But there's a LOT of pressure on me to get my hits per day up.

FHM magazine

My demographics seems to be heavily skewed in favor of females over males -- both in the US and especially in the UK.  There are almost an infinite number of cover versions of "I Touch Myself" that I could post, but my marketing department  has insisted that I use this one, which features "The Girls of FHM," a novelty hot-babes pop act whose first single was a remake of the old Rod Stewart hit, "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?"

It's doubtful that the girls in the video are the ones actually singing the song, although I could be wrong about that.  What I do know is that none of these girls can really dance at all.  (The members of the girls' dance team that performs at the halftimes of my son's high-school basketball games are better dancers.  Of course, they wouldn't look as good in a Victoria's Secret . . . never mind.)

If you're not a young unmarried British male, you may not be familiar with FHM magazine.  FHM's original name was For Him Magazine, and it is what the people at an advertising agency would call a men's "lifestyle" magazine.  

The Brits call these kinds of magazines -- which feature lingerie or topless photos (but not total nudity), articles about cars, men's fashions, and alcoholic beverages, and perhaps a little dating/lovemaking advice -- "laddie mags."

Maxim

Maxim is the most popular such magazine in the United States.

Both Maxim and FHM love lists of hot women -- for example, the Maxim website is currently featuring the "Hottest Women of the 2011 Oscars" and the "100 Hottest WAGs."  (A "WAG" is a "wife and/or girlfriend" of a famous professional athlete -- the term was invented by the British tabloids, so it is usually used to refer to the wives and girlfriends of British and European footballers.) 

Dutch soccer WAG Sylvie van der Vaart

These magazines are sort of like Playboy was about 50 years ago.  I don't get it -- magazines like these are the worst of both worlds.  If you want to read articles, subscribe to the New Yorker.  And if you want to look at hot women, would you rather see them with all their clothes off or only some of their clothes off?  (The question answers itself, doesn't it?  At least it does if you're a guy.)

Here's "I Touch Myself" by the Girls of FHM:

And here as a public service for husbands and boyfriends everywhere is the "Girls of FHM Lingerie Buyers' Guide" video -- just in time for Valentine's Day:

I'm not posting links for you to use to buy this song from iTunes or Amazon -- assuming it's even available for purchase.  I mean, what exactly would be the point of an audio-only version of this?