Friday, July 1, 2016

Josefus – "Five'll Get Me Ten" (1970)

Five’ll get me ten
You’ve been doing it again

Most iPod models – the Touch, the Nano, the Classic, the Mini – have touchscreens that display the name of the song you are listening to and the name of the artist who performed it.

But the humble iPod Shuffle, a tiny device that retails for only $49, doesn’t have a touchscreen.  If you don’t recognize the song that’s playing on it, you are S.O.L.

The iPod Shuffle
That’s a big problem for me because I’m constantly downloading obscure and unfamiliar songs from my public library and then listening to them on my iPod while I’m walking or riding my bicycle.  

So it’s not unusual for me to hear a song that I want to feature on 2 or 3 lines but I don’t know the song’s name and I don’t recognize the group performing it.  I can identify that song by looking on my computer when I get home, but most of the time I forget to do that.

My new Shuffle has a feature called “VoiceOver.”  If you hear an unfamiliar song on your iPod, you just hit the VoiceOver button and a computer-generated voice tells you the name of the song and the name of the recording artist.

We all know computers are stupid, and the chip responsible for VoiceOver is no exception.  It reads at about a 3rd-grade level, and that’s being generous.  

When I hit the VoiceOver button while today’s featured song was playing, the computerized voice told me that the name of the song was “Five Ell Ell Get Me Ten,” and that the name of the group that recorded it was “Ho-Say-Foos.”  

Josephus (which is pronounced “Joe-See-Fuss,” not “Ho-Say-Foos”) was formed in Houston in 1969.    The band released two albums in 1970, and then broke up.

“Five will get you ten” is an idiomatic expression that’s derived from betting.  It describes an even bet – here, a bet in which each party wagers five dollars.  The winner will walk away with ten bucks – hence, “five will get you ten.”

I was listening to “Five’ll Get Me Ten” while walking on the heavily-wooded Magruder Branch Trail in Damascus, Maryland, today.

The Magruder Branch Trail
It was very hot and steamy, and the trail – which follows the course of a tributary of Great Seneca Creek – was muddy in spots.  I was shvitzing like a Airedale by the time my Fitbit buzzed to tell me I had reached my 10,000-step goal.

After changing shirts and replenishing my precious bodily fluids with some cold H2O, I headed to the nearby Sunshine General Store for the best cheeseburger in Maryland – a fat ground beef patty cooked on a grill with American cheese, onions, tomato, and a big pile of dill pickle chips on the side:

Add a jumbo bag of sour cream and onion-flavored potato chips and a 20-ounce bottle of Dr. Pepper, and you’ve got an all-American lunch.

The Sunshine store is a great place to get a cheeseburger or a breakfast – it’s open from 5 AM to 5 PM six days a week (and from 6 AM to 3 PM on Sundays) – but there’s not much else to buy there.

This shot captures pretty much everything for sale at the store other than cold drinks and chips:

Here’s a closeup of the cereal aisle of the store:

Have a yen for Italian?  Here's the selection at Sunshine:

Here's the personal care section:

Don't forget to pick up something for Rover and Fifi from the pet food aisle:

In the next 2 or 3 lines, I’ll tell you about the two new farm breweries that I visited after gobbling up my cheeseburger.  I’ll also tell you about the very unpleasant surprise that awaited me later that evening.

Here’s “Five’ll Get Me ten”:

Click below to buy the song from Amazon:

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