Ronnie Hawkins – "Mary Lou" (1959)

She took my diamond ring

She took my watch and chain

She took the keys to my Cadillac car

My daughter recently invited me to come along when she took my five-year-old granddaughter to the Build-A-Bear Workshop at a local mall.

If you’ve never been to a Build-A-Bear store, let me tell you how it works.  First, the child picks from a wide variety of “stuffies” – unstuffed teddy bears or other animals.  Next, she goes to the “Build-A-Bear Workshop Stuffing Station,” where a store employee helps her blow the animal full of polyester fiber.  

You’re not going to hear me criticize the Build-A-Bear’s business model, which relies on upselling a myriad of optional accessory items in addition to the basic stuffed animal.  (We’re talking scents, a personalized “voice,” a printed birth certificate, various clothing items – dresses, pants, jackets, shoes, hats, even eyeglasses – even a beating plastic heart.)

My granddaughter with her new best friend

That’s because my angelic little granddaughter had the time of her life there.  She was thrilled with the final product, and hasn’t let her new best friend – who she named Katarina – out of her sight since she brought her home.

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Rock-and-roll pioneer Ronnie Hawkins once said, “I spent ninety percent of my money on wine, women and song and just wasted the other ten percent. “  

I’m not sure if Ronnie had a granddaughter.  But if he had, I’m sure he would have amended that statement to make it clear that any expenditure he made on her behalf – like his expenditures on wine, women, and song – was money well spent.

Hawkins’ backing band – known as the Hawks – left him to play with Bob Dylan, and eventually achieved fame in their own right as the Band.  

Most of the Band’s members were Canadians who joined the Hawks after Hawkins moved from his home state of Arkansas to Toronto – and after Hawkins had recorded his biggest hit, “Mary Lou,” which peaked at #26 on the Billboard “Hot 100” in 1959.  

Ronnie Hawkins and the Hawks in 1964

Levon Helm – a fellow Arkansawyer who had started playing drums for Hawkins well before Ronnie’s move to Canada – did play on “Mary Lou.”  

Here’s a fun fact: Ronnie Hawkins was the cousin of Dale Hawkins, who wrote and recorded “Suzie Q” in 1957.  Ronnie covered “Suzie Q” a few years after that, but his version didn’t achieve anything near the success of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s 1968 cover of Dale’s song. 

Click here to listen to “Mary Lou.”

Click here to buy “Mary Lou” from Amazon.

Don Broco – "Uber" (2021)

Been a long night

I'ma call me a Uber

Tout le monde is talking about Uber’s recent announcement of its new “Women Preferences” program – which allows female Uber riders to be matched with female drivers (and vice versa).  

Uber is actually a little late to the choose-your-driver’s-gender party.  Female-only ride-share companies already exist in a number of cities.  Uber’s rival Lyft launched a similar service a couple of years ago.

But Uber is the 800-pound gorilla in the world of ride-sharing, so its decision to offer “Women Preferences” is getting a lot of attention.

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One of the women who commented on a Washington Post article about the new Uber policy thought it was long overdue:

It took them this long to come up with this concept?  Isn’t this just common sense?  I won’t use an Uber or Lyft because I’ve read too many stories of women being molested or otherwise attacked in cars by their drivers.  I don’t trust their so-called background checks! 

Here’s a comment from another female WaPo reader who thinks  “Women Preferences” is a good idea:

I applaud this development.  I have never, in fact, taken an Uber or Lyft without a male companion for the very reason that I fear getting into a car with a male stranger.  Having been assaulted several times in my life, I simply do not wish to repeat the experience.  Unfortunately, we women cannot tell the good guys from the bad guys based on appearance alone.

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There’s no doubt that a lot of women want no part of being alone in an Uber with a man . . . and for good reason.  After all, there have been thousands of reports of sexual assaults on female Uber riders and drivers over the years.  And while comments about a woman’s appearance or questions about her relationship status may not rise to the level of crimes, they can make her very uncomfortable.

But as critics of the “Women Preferences” program have pointed out, the vast majority of male Uber drivers or passengers don’t say anything inappropriate, much less commit sexual assault.  They accuse Uber of penalizing all men because of a few bad apples.  

Here’s what one Washington Post reader who opposes the new Uber policy had to say:

By creating women-only options, we reinforce the outdated and harmful stereotype that men are inherently dangerous or untrustworthy, and that women are perpetual victims who need special protection.  This approach doesn't challenge sexism; it entrenches it, creating a system of segregation that undermines the very principle of equality we should be striving for.

True progress means addressing predatory behavior, not gender. Let's demand better safety standards for everyone, everywhere, rather than promoting division.

Another WaPo reader questioned the legality of the new policy:

Denying people service based on their sex, race, religion, or other protected characteristics is a violation of federal, state and local civil-rights laws.  Someone is bound to file a lawsuit over this.  Can you imagine Uber allowing drivers to reject passengers because of their race?  Of course not.

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I wouldn’t be too quick to conclude that the “Women Preferences” program violates the law.  I’m sure Uber had some very high-priced lawyers go over their new policy with a fine-toothed comb before rolling it out.

But that reader makes a good point.  Presumably Uber would never provide riders with a mechanism for requesting a driver who wasn’t black, or Muslim, or gay.

If it would be wrong for Uber to allow riders to choose drivers on the basis of race, religion, or sexual orientation, why it is OK for them to allow riders to choose on the basis of gender?

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One final note on Uber’s new “Women Preferences” policy.

It’s true that males are more likely to commit murder or assault than females, so there’s a certain logic to women asking to be paired with other women when they use Uber.

But many of the violent crimes committed against women are committed by their husbands, boyfriends, or ex-partners – not strangers.  When you look at violent crimes involving strangers or non-intimate acquaintances, most of the victims are male.

In other words, the statistics indicate that males actually have more to fear from Uber rides with other males than females do.  But Uber has no plans to allow males to express a preference for female drivers or passengers – except for biological males who identify as female or non-binary.

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Don Broco’s “Uber” was released in 2021 on that group’s fourth studio album, Amazing Things, which made it all the way to the #1 spot on the UK album charts.

Don Broco thought about calling itself Don Loco, but decided to go with Don Broco after the group’s guitarist broke his wrist playing soccer.  (Don Broco is pronounced “Don Broke-o” – get it?)

Click here to listen to “Uber.”

Click here to buy “Uber” from Amazon.

St. Vincent – "Fast Slow Disco" (2018)

I’m so glad I came

But I can’t wait to leave

I just finished watching season four of the critically-acclaimed FX series, The Bear.

The Bear is a very intense show.  Watching it is downright exhausting.

Despite that, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences classified it as a comedy – not a drama – when it nominated for a number of Emmy Awards after its first season.   

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The Bear has some funny moments, but is nothing like the other recent winners of the “Best Comedy Series” Emmy – shows like Schitt’s Creek, Veep, Modern Family, and Curb Your Enthusiasm.  (Actually, Curb Your Enthusiasm never won the best comedy Emmy, although it was nominated for that award no fewer than eleven times.  The fact that it never won proves beyond a reasonable doubt that Academy voters are about as sharp as a bowl of Jell-O.)

The Bear is a very compelling series.  It is beautifully shot, has a fabulous soundtrack, and features a great cast – none of whom (with the exception of Jamie Lee Curtis) were familiar to me.  

The Bear is different from most other TV series because it focuses almost entirely on work.   For most of us, our job is an extremely important aspect of our life, but most movies and television shows give the work lives of their characters very short shrift.

There’s a fair amount of stuff in The Bear about family relationships, and the show serves up a dollop of romance here and there.  But The Bear is mostly concerned with life at the titular restaurant where virtually all the important characters work.

I’ve never worked in a restaurant – much less a fine-dining establishment like the one in The Bear – so I don’t really know how accurately the show portrayed the lives of both the back of house and front of house staff.  But it seemed entirely authentic to me.

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My main problem with The Bear is that it fetishizes food.  I enjoy going out to eat as much as the next guy.  But for me, food is just food – what I have for dinner isn’t that big of a deal. 

In the world of The Bear, however, every meal is expected to be a work of art – anything short of perfection is unacceptable. 

One minor subplot of the most recent season of The Bear involves the efforts of one of the line cooks to lower the time it takes her to prepare a certain pasta dish to three minutes.  It’s not clear to me why being able to make that dish in exactly three minutes – as opposed to three and a half minutes, or three minutes and fifteen seconds – is that critical.  But that’s what the show would have you believe.

Everyone on The Bear always seems to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  (I can’t tell you how many times one of the cooks or servers asks another cook or server, “Are you OK?”  The answer is almost always “Yes” – but more often than not, that answer is a lie.)  If you ask me, they all need to lie down with a cool washcloth on their forehead. 

Take a chill pill, all you chefs and servers on The Bear!  I’m impressed that you care so deeply about your work.  I applaud you for going to the lengths you do to give your customers a memorable restaurant experience.  

But I’m sorry – I think The Bear takes itself waaaay too seriously.  Working in a restaurant isn’t like working in an emergency room – whether your experience at a fine-dining joint is transcendent or mediocre isn’t a matter of life or death.

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For many years, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences assumed that shows that had half-hour episodes were comedies for purposes of the Emmys, while shows with longer episodes were placed in the drama category.

That rule made sense during the heyday of network television, when comedies (e.g., The Beverly Hillbillies and All in The Family) always filled 30-minute time slots and most dramas (e.g., Gunsmoke and Star Trek) were an hour in length.  

But classifying a series as a comedy or a drama strictly on the basis of the length of its episodes doesn’t make a lot of sense in today’s world. 

According to the rules now governing the Emmys, a comedy series is one whose content is “primarily comedic” while a dramatic series is one whose content is “primarily dramatic.”  (I guess having a circular definition is better than no definition at all . . . but just barely.)

When FX submitted The Bear to the Emmys as a comedy, the Academy could have chosen to place it in the drama category instead.  Variety reported in June that FX’s competitors have tried to get the Academy to move The Bear into the drama category.

But The Bear isn’t the first show whose categorization has been controversial.  So far the Academy seems to have taken a laissez-faire stance with regard to whether a network says that a show that it submitted for Emmy consideration is a comedy or a drama.  That’s probably because the Academy doesn’t want to be seen as taking sides.

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Why did FX submit The Bear to the Academy as a comedy?  Many people think it was so The Bear wouldn’t have to compete in the drama category against Shogun, another FX series.

If that was in fact the network’s strategy, it worked beautifully.  The first season of The Bear won ten comedy Emmys, and the show took home eleven awards the following year.  

But at the most recent Emmy Awards, Hacks took advantage of the backlash over The Bear’s questionable categorization and won Best Comedy Series.

I haven’t seen Hacks – I spend enough money on streaming networks with subscribing to HBO, or Max, or whatever the hell they’re calling it these days – but I understand that it’s actually a comedy.

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Click here to listen to “Fast Slow Disco,” one of the two alternate versions of St. Vincent’s “Slow Disco” that appears on the soundtrack of season four of The Bear.  (“Fast Slow Disco” is played over the closing credits of the final episode.)

St. Vincent

St. Vincent – who was born Annie Clark – has said that after Taylor Swift heard the original version of “Slow Disco” (which Wass released on the 2017 Masseduction album), she told her that she should turn it into a pop song.  A few months later, Clark released the uptempo “Fast Slow Disco.”

Click here to buy “Fast Slow Disco” from Amazon.