Friday, February 12, 2016

Crystals – "Then He Kissed Me" (1963)

All the stars were shinin' bright
And then he kissed me

From the Your Tango website: 

In 2007, researchers at University of Albany studied 1,041 college students and found significant differences in how males and females perceived kissing.

Although common in courtship, females put more importance on kissing, and most would never have sex without kissing first. Men, on the other hand, would have sex without kissing beforehand; they would also have sex with someone who wasn’t a good kisser.

I could have told you that without having to do no damn study.

Burt and Deborah
More from that same Your Tango article:

Philematologists, the scientists who study kissing, aren't exactly sure why humans started locking lips in the first place. The most likely theory is that it stems from primate mothers passing along chewed food to their toothless babies.

That sort of takes the romance right out of kissing, doesn't it?  But that explanation does seem to be widely held by philematologists, who are scientists who study kissing.

Patrick and Jennifer
Is there really such a thing as a philematologist?  Do philematologists who continue their studies become chidevomatologists – scientists who study heavy petting?

(FYI, I wouldn’t say Your Tango is the most reliable source.  The Your Tango website is full of the worst kind of female clickbait: "12 Reasons Cat Ladies Make The BEST Wives," "Women With Bigger Butts Are Smarter And Healthier, Study Says," "5 Sex Toys You NEED To Make Your Orgasms Incredible," and "Kissing Makes You Live Longer (And 9 Other Surprising Facts).")

One of the first record albums I ever owned was the Beach Boys' Summer Days (And Summer Nights!!), which included a song titled "Then I Kissed Her."

Leonardo and Claire
I had no idea until years later that "Then I Kissed Her" was a slightly modified version of "Then He Kissed Me," a song written by Ellie Greenwich, Jeff Barry, and Phil Spector, that was a hit for the Crystals in 1963.  

There are a lot of songs written for and recorded by a female singer that were later covered by a male artist, and vice versa.  Sometimes such songs work just as well for one sex as the other.  But sometimes a song only makes sense when sung by a member of one gender or the other – a fact that some wrongheaded singers ignore. 

Case in point: Linda Ronstadt's ludicrous cover of the Lowell George song, "Willin'" – I’m all about equal employment opportunity, but having a woman like Linda Ronstadt sing a song about a pill-popping over-the-road truck driver just doesn’t work.

I couldn't feature "Then I Kissed Her" in this year's "29 Songs in 29 Days" – it had to be "Then He Kissed Me."  (When I reveal what this February's featured songs have in common, it will all become clear to you.)

This will be viewed as blasphemy by some, but I think I like the Beach Boys' version better.

Here’s “Then I Kissed Her” by the Beach Boys:

And here’s “Then He Kissed Me” by the Crystals:

Click below to buy the song from Amazon:

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