You ain't gettin' no younger
That's so true, boys and girls. I ain't gettin' no younger, and neither are you.
As the days dwindle down to a precious few, you hate to waste a minute. And I can't think of a bigger waste of time than listening to Eagles records.
[NOTE: This may not be the worst 2 or 3 lines post ever written, but it's pretty damn close. Let's call a spade a spade: the Eagles are a pretty easy target, and the incident I'm about to relate took place almost 18 months ago . . . so it's not exactly breaking news. But I'm hitting the road in a few days and won't be able to publish anything for a week or so. Which leaves me standing in front of a very leaky dyke without enough fingers to plug all the holes. Which is why you're getting a second-rate effort like this one. After all, when you're locked in to doing three posts a week – come hell or high water – quantity may just have to trump quality every once in a while.]
Vernett Bader of North Charleston, South Carolina, obviously feels the same way. When her roommate and his visiting brother refused to stop listening to Eagles tunes one night, the 54-year-old Ms. Bader went after her 64-year-old roomie with a 14-inch serrated bread knife, stabbing his arm and hand.
According to newspaper accounts, Vernett's roommate – whom she had previously "dated" – was able to take the knife away from her. She then went back to the kitchen and rearmed herself with a second knife.
Vernett later admitted to police that she had stabbed the man several times, but claimed that she had done so in self-defense because he was choking her. But the officers who responded to the incident said they saw no marks on her neck that indicated any attempted strangulation.
Here's the least surprising fact about the incident: investigators said that Vernett Bader, her roommate, and his brother were all intoxicated at the time. (Didn't see that one coming, did you?)
We don't know which particular Eagles song was playing when Ms. Bader suddenly snapped and went for the bread knife. There are many candidates – "Peaceful Easy Feeling," "Best of My Love," "One of These Nights," "Take It to the Limit," "New Kid in Town," and "The Long Run," to name just a few. Hearing any of them once too often might have pushed me over the edge.
But my guess is that it was "Desperado" that galvanized Vernett into action.
The first line of that song is "Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?" If you ask me, that's exactly what Vernett Bader did. If I'm on her jury, I don't care what the judge's instructions say – I'm voting "not guilty."
Here's "Desperado," which was written by original Eagles Glenn Frey and Don Henley and first appeared on the group's 1973 album of the same name:
Click here to buy the song from Amazon: