Everything I do
Needs a news crew's presence
Kanye was a favorite of the paparazzi long before he began to pitch woo at the comely Kimberly Noel "Kim" Kardashian. But since those two A-list celebrities have begun to liaise on a regular basis, the number of news crews who track their every move has increased exponentially.
As the author of a wildly popular blog that regularly features Kanye West's brilliant rap songs and pictures of Kim Kardashian's big-ass ass, I was ALL OVER Kanye's announcement last Sunday that he had knocked up Mrs. Kris Humphries. (That's right, boys and girls. Kim and Kris Humphries are still married.)
(Don't tell me that you hadn't heard the news before reading it here. People as clueless as you are NOT allowed to read 2 or 3 lines! Get off the damn computer and go back to your Murder, She Wrote re-run!)
So far, the biggest beneficiary of Kanye and Kim's announcement is Vivid Entertainment, which is one of the most successful porn film companies in the world. Vivid sells celebrity sex tapes featuring such luminaries as Paris Hilton, Pam Anderson, and even Jimi Hendrix.
But Vivid's best-selling celebrity sex tape features our favorite mommy-to-be vacationing with Ray J, a rapper of no great repute. And sales of that tape have been through the roof since Kanye told the world that Kim had a bun in the oven.
The Kim-Ray J tape was made in 2003, but it remained their little secret until a third party sold it to Vivid in 2007 for a million bucks. Kim immediately sued Vivid, but eventually settled the case for $5 million.
The outcome of that lawsuit is more proof that the American legal system is the greatest on earth. You've heard the term "win-win"? This was a "win-win-win" outcome. Obviously, Kim won. Vivid won as well. But the biggest winners were straight males of all ages and nationalities.
Click here if you care to invest $4.95 in a four-day Vivid Entertainment trial membership. (Let me assure you that I do not make a penny from Vivid if you join their website. I'm doing this strictly as a public service.)
"Clique" is one of the singles from the compilation album, Cruel Summer, which was released in 2012 on Kanye West's G.O.O.D. Music label. ("G.O.O.D." is an acronym for "Getting out our dreams.")
|The Cruel Summer album cover|
The Cruel Summer album features a number of G.O.O.D. Music's artists -- including John Legend, Common, Kid Cudi, Big Sean, and Kanye himself. "Clique" also features Jay-Z, who has his own record label but collaborates with Kanye frequently.
Big Sean does the first verse on "Clique," and it is a very good verse. Jay-Z follows up with the next verse, and it's outstanding.
Kanye saves the third and final verse for himself, and he knocks it out of the park. He begins by referring to his well-known love for Louis Vuitton and Gucci gear.
|Some of Kanye's line of shoes for Louis Vuitton|
But then he switches gears and alludes to Kim's sex tape:
Break records of Louie
Ate breakfast at Gucci
My girl a superstar all from a home movie
(Give Yeezy credit -- he's not afraid to bring up any topic, no matter how controversial or embarrassing. He's a true believer in "Never complain, never explain.")
Kanye then offers some sociological observations on the differing attitudes of whites and blacks when it comes to money:
You know white people get money don’t spend it
Or maybe they get money, buy a business
I rather buy 80 gold chains and go ignorant
I know Spike Lee gonna kill me, but let me finish
Kanye tells it like it is. Rich white people (think Warren Buffett, or Mitt Romney) don't live ostentatiously -- they prefer to invest their money in their businesses.
|Warren Buffett doesn't drive a Maybach|
But black hip-hop superstars like Kanye immediately start throwing money at gold jewelry. Sure, politically correct guys like Spike Lee don't approve of flamboyant lifestyles, but Kanye doesn't really give a rat's *ss about what Spike Lee thinks.
Kanye's looking for a house in Tom Cruise's neighborhood, and that's the high-higher-highest-rent district, if you know what I'm saying.
Now I’m looking at a crib
Right next to where TC lives
Right next to where TC lives
That’s Tom Cruise, whatever she accuse
He wasn’t really drunk he just had a frew brews
The "frew brews" isn't a mistake -- that's what Kanye says. My friends at Rap Genius offer two possible explanations for "frew brews." First, Kanye could be pretending to slur his words -- which all of us are wont to do after a frew brews. Alternatively, Kanye might be engaging in drunk texting. If you look at your keyboard, you'll see that "R" is between "F" and "EW" -- so you could easily type "frew" by mistake when you mean to type "few."
But enough about Kanye and "Clique" -- let's get back to the "First Lady" of 2 or 3 lines.
Kim is reportedly about three months into her pregnancy. That means that her already voluptuous figure will continue to swell and engorge for a good five or six months -- making Keeping Up With the Kardashians "must-see" TV in 2013.
No doubt those six months will fly by before we realize it, but six months' worth of distraction from the fiscal cliff, and the debt ceiling, and all the other nonsense that will dominate the national news for the foreseeable future -- not to mention weeks of awful winter weather -- is worth a lot.
Thank you, Kim, Thank you, Kanye. And don't wait too long to get to work on child number two -- neither one of you are getting any younger.
"Clique" here to buy the song from Amazon: