The voice of authority
A four-year warranty
On a speech of unbreakable promises
Only five months until election day, boys and girls. Five months of gassy speechifying, blowhardery by the TV pundits, and breathtakingly deceptive super-PAC ads . . . ooooohhh, I'm getting a little moist just thinking about it!
You could say that a new president does come with a four-year warranty. If those unbreakable promises get broken before four years are up, the country can take the president back to the store and get a replacement. That's really not such a bad deal.
Of course, if your new flat-screen goes on the fritz, or your new pick-up truck stalls out every time you give it the gas, you don't have to wait four years to do something about it -- you can return it to the place where you bought it and demand that they fix it toot sweet or give you a new one.
There's no warranty on a president's second term, of course. All sales final -- caveat emptor and all that. But if you can't figure out that the guy sucks until year five, you must not have been paying attention. And you are guaranteed a brand-new model after eight years. There's no way you can be stuck with a lemon longer than that.
(Speaking of the words "sucks," I'm reminded of a story about the late college basketball coach, Jim Valvano. Valvano once asked a referee if he could be given a technical foul for what he was thinking. The referee said no, after which Valvano said, "I think YOU SUCK!")
This year's election will take place on November 6. (Save the date!) To help everyone get ready for the big day, 2 or 3 lines is going to feature songs that are relevant to the presidential contest on the 6th of each month between now and Election Day.
Don't worry about partisanship sneaking into 2 or 3 lines. No way, no how -- I would never use my wildly popular blog for political purposes! Unless someone wants to pay me to do so.
But you can prevent that from happening by supporting my wonderful sponsors. (Go ahead -- click on an ad. That didn't hurt a bit, did it? Try it once more -- it's really kind of fun, isn't it?) If enough of you do, 2 or 3 lines won't have to resort to running political ads to put food on the table.
Click here to read about Fools Face, a great but largely unknown power-pop band from Missouri that released "Whatever" over 30 years ago.
This song is off that group's Tell America album. For the next five months, the candidates will be telling America all kinds of stuff -- whether America wants to hear it or not. If I were you, I'd turn off the TV and devote your evenings to exploring 2 or 3 lines -- you'll be glad you did.