Alice Cooper – "Elected" (1972)

I never lied to you

I’ve always been cool

I wanna be elected!

They say a leopard can’t change its spots.

They also say that a politician will shove his mother out of the way if she’s standing between him and a camera.

Here’s a recent photo of the head of my county’s government, Marc Elrich, attending the annual celebration of the Holi festival with local followers of the Hare Krishna movement:

When I first saw that photo, I thought that someone had pranked Elrich.  But it turns out that Holi – which people celebrate by throwing colored powder at each other – is actually a thing.  (Who knew?) 

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The obvious explanation for Elrich’s willingness to attend an event like the local Holi festival is that he’s a politician who is determined to leave no stone unturned in his efforts to put himself in front of potential voters.  (Is it possible that there are enough Hare Krishnas in Montgomery County to have any effect on local elections?  Better safe than sorry!) 

Elrich will be 77 years old when his second term as the County Executive of Montgomery County, Maryland – the home of 2 or 3 lines – ends next year.  You might think that would be enough to discourage him from running for re-election.  But there are plenty of recent examples of people that old or older holding high office to demonstrate that advanced age is no match for a politician’s ego.    

Unfortunately for Elrich, last year the voters approved a ballot measure prohibiting from running for a third term as County Executive.  And there’s really no other elective office that would make sense for him to seek.  (I can’t imagine he would run for a lesser office at this point, and the higher ones are all spoken for.)

Elrich to Montgomery County voters:
“We don’t need no stinkin’ term limits!”

So if Elrich isn’t running for re-election, why does he continue to attend events like the Holi festival and post photos of himself shaking hands and kissing babies on Facebook, Twitter, and elsewhere? 

Possibly for the same reason that the scorpion in the old fable stings the frog that is carrying it across a river.  

“Without me to carry you across the river, you will drown,” the frog asks after the scorpion delivers the fatal sting.  “So why did you sting me?”

“Because that’s my nature,” the scorpion answers.

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I’ll have a lot more to say about County Executive Elrich in the next 2 or 3 lines.

In the meantime, you’re invited to click here and enjoy the brilliant music video for Alice Cooper’s “Elected,” which was released in 1972 on the Billion Dollar Babies album.  (John Lennon once told Alice that “Elected” was a great record, but that Paul McCartney would have done it better.  One out of two ain’t bad.)

Click here to buy “Elected” from Amazon.