I'm a desperate man
Send lawyers, guns, and money
The sh*t has hit the fan
Lawyers, guns, and money can take care of pretty much any bad situation in which a desperate man finds himself. But if you could choose only one of the three, which one would you choose?
I'd probably start with guns -- use the guns to get money, and use the money to hire lawyers. But it doesn't really matter where you begin. This game isn't like "rock, paper, scissors," which only works in one direction. Guns can get you money -- but money can get you guns, too.
My son Nick recently graduated from law school, but I doubt that he will ever have to deal with guys who need guns to get out of trouble. I think lawyers and money will be enough to take care of his clients' problems.
Here's a picture of the Duke Law School class of 2012. I don't know about you, but I look at this photo and think to myself, "Just what this country needs -- a couple of hundred more lawyers."
Nick's graduation was held in Duke's Cameron Indoor Stadium -- most famous as the home of the Duke Blue Devils basketball team:
Mike Krzyzewski has coached the Duke men since 1980, and he has more wins than any men's Division I basketball coach in history. John Wooden, the legendary UCLA coach, won ten national championships in a 12-year period, but no other men's coach has won more titles than "Coach K." Here are Duke's national championship banners:
Here's Nick all decked out in his graduation finery. The standard law degree in the United States is the J.D., or juris doctor ("Doctor of Law") degree. Doctoral gowns are typically black with velvet facing and three velvet bands on the sleeves. For doctors of law, the velvet is purple.
Note also Nick's snazzy hat. Instead of the standard mortarboard cap, recipients of doctoral degrees can wear velvet tams.
I'm a lawyer myself, but I had nothing to do with my first-born's decision to go to law school -- at least not in the sense that I encouraged him to follow in my footsteps.
But first-borns are said to be conscientious and parent-oriented. There's little doubt that he strongly resembles me in a number of fundamental characteristics, so maybe it shouldn't surprise me that he chose law as his career. I think he'll be happier and more successful as a lawyer than I've been. (He certainly was a more successful law student than I was -- primarily because he's every bit as smart as I am but worked much harder than I did.)
Warren Zevon released a dozen studio albums over a 34-year career. "Lawyers, Guns, and Money" is on his third album, Excitable Boy, which was released in 1978. That was his most successful album, thanks in large part to the popularity of "Werewolves of London," his biggest hit single.
Zevon's second biggest-selling album was his last one, The Wind. It was released in 2003, about a year after he had been diagnosed with inoperable peritoneal mesothelioma (a type of cancer usually blamed on asbestos exposure). Zevon died less than two weeks after The Wind was released. He was 56.
Zevon's last public appearance was on "The Late Show With David Letterman." As he walked onstage, the Letterman band played a song Zevon had written in 1976 -- "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead." He told Letterman that "I might have made a tactical error in not going to a physician for 20 years," and advised the audience to "enjoy every sandwich."
Here's "Lawyers, Guns, and Money":
Click here to buy the song from Amazon.